Eight Feet Deep

Tom DeLay is not going to run for office again.

The phrase: “Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you” came to mind for some reason when I that saw my last post was actually two posts of dueling redundancy. I had a post then I had another post just like it so I got rid of one post and now …

I don’t know why I thought of the bear quote. I actually like bears although I would not like to be eaten by one. I don’t particularly want to eat a bear either. In the area in which I live, near the Big Thicket of Southeast Texas, people used to actually eat bear. I’m sure they had a reason. For no one eats a bear without a reason, just as no one eats squid without a reason. I’m not a big squid fan. On the other hand, sometimes you eat things like chips and dips or celery sticks at a party for no reason. But I ramble. I had problems making the last post because I had too much on my plate. And it really shouldn’t be that way because this isn’t my job, ya know.

Sometimes I wonder about people who read blogs. EFD is something that I do more as a writer’s exercise and hobby than it is trying to reach some specific (or unspecific) audience. Those that read EFD do. Those that don’t …

I have mentioned before that I like my StatCounter but not so much for the recording of hits. Rather it allows me to have at least a general idea who is reading EFD. By using its visitor’s path I can tell where the visitor came from, what kind of computer was used, how long they stayed and what they were looking for on the search engine that sent them here. Pretty awesome, if not voyeuristic. Here is a sample of what people who end up at EFD are searching for:

From Singapore: “human spitoon.”

This person from Eau Claire, Wisc., had us confused with an Antarctic adventure movie: “Eight feet deep movie.”

From Aggieland, College Station, Texas, some one is searching for the ever popular: “Texas flag bikini.”

Someone from Vietnam perhaps is expecting to an second Sun to show up: “SUNBLOCK SPF80.”

Yes, we all are searching for something. Me? I’m searching for something to eat.

Implement of torture

Our lives have become much easier because of so many gadgets and devices. So why is it that simple tasks of auto maintenance such as changing spark plugs have become a bigger pain in the ass than ever?

My Tacoma pickup last week started running like a terrier with distemper. So I have begun the old process of elimination routine of automobile repair. I started with the simple stuff: gas treatment, carburetor cleaner. No change. So I bought some plugs and finally had time to put them in this morning. The first sign it was going to be a bad experience is when I finally got the first wire off and looked down at my plug which appeared to be 40 feet below. It was way down there and I had no tool to reach it. So I went to the auto parts store and purchased the above 6-inch extension for my ratchet drive, pictured above.

Now it would seem like changing plugs would be a snap in my truck. They are located on top of the engine block, the same configuration a Corolla I once owned had. It was very easy to change the plugs in that car. But like most automobiles built in the last 20 years or so there are so many wires and assorted other crap crammed under the hood that it is a chore to get to anything at all. So it was a challenge getting to the plugs, getting them out and putting the new ones in. In the process, I pulled a little too hard on a plastic covering on a wire and broke it. So now I am awaiting a ride to the auto parts store to buy a set of wires since they don’t sell just one wire. Oh well, I guess a new set of wires is a good thing.

Birds fear me. Yeah, right.

It hasn’t been a very exciting day. But on the bizarre side, my downstairs neighbor planted a small garden next to a fence and has put up two of these scare owls to keep the birds away. They look pretty strange. I think it would be funny if a large flock of birds landed on the two owls and they fell under the flock’s weight and busted. I would almost pay to see that.

This is kind of what the fire scene I saw earlier looked like had it not been somewhere completely different.

Another exciting afternoon walk in my Old Town neighborhood of Beaumont, Texas. This afternoon my walking route became invaded by the Beaumont Fire Department as a house burned very impressively near the intersection of Evalon Avenue and North Sixth Street.

I walked up near the house just as the first fire engine pulled up. Fire was shooting from the rear roof of the house and black smoke came from just about every crack in the structure.

Speaking of crack, Homes, the dude across the street, told me about 10 homeless guys who had been living there and that the place was a crack house. Another guy, whom is the guy I see quite frequently drinking beer when I pass by, was across the street drinking beer and watching the house burn. The guy drinking beer said the people who lived in the house died about three years ago and the house had been vacant since. He said the police had been called to keep the homeless people out but the squatters kept coming back.

That’s all I know. So now, you know.