No attempt I can make at absurdity can match the stellar heights of ridiculousness reached Tuesday night by the Texas House of Representatives. A vote of 65-56 passed a bill that would ban cheerleaders from performing in sexually suggestive ways. That state legislative body has fast-tracked itself past what was once merely a governmental chamber of petty thievery and buffoonery to establishing itself as the Texas House of Imbeciles.
Rep. Al Edwards, D-Houston, the grand wazoo of House imbeciles and author of the bill, apparently believes butt-shaking high school cheerleaders constitute a major threat to Texas society. I guess one thing cheerleaders can be thankful for is the bill would only ban such routines. Edwards has sponsored legislation in the past that called for whacking off fingers of drug dealers.
Definition of what constitutes such offensive displays would be derived from the approach used by U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart to define obscenity in a landmark 1964 ruling. Stewart said, and I am paraphrasing here, he couldn’t tell obscenity from Oreos. “But I know it when I see it,” he said, meaning obscenity. I don’t know that we’ve actually succeeded in appointing a justice to the Supreme Court who is too stupid to know what an Oreo is. But I digress and am sure some would argue the point.
It isn’t a sure bet the Texas Senate will pass Edwards’ bill. Although that body also has its problems, the Senate does not normally go to such extreme lengths to exhibit pride in doltishness. But I’m sure even some of the Senate’s members will give it the old college try.