We got ice. We got Bluetooth. We got rich.

The Super Duper Mart (Not it’s real name) is one of the “urban” type convenience stores. Urban is just a euphemism, code word or whatever you want to say to dress up a pig with lipstick for ghetto, po’, probably 40 different shades of skin color including white folks who have at least one major mechanical difficulty with their car that can’t be fixed until at least the next payday.

Anyway, that’s the kind of neighborhood I live in but this store is actually down the road a ways.

My guess is that the clerk is from one of those ‘stan’ countries. He has a Bluetooth stuck in his ear that he talks from every waking minute of the day.

The store has an ice dispenser where you can get a ginormous cup of ice for 50 cents. There is no carbonated soft drink machine in the place. A little light bulb goes off in my head. They want you to buy an energy drink, or soft drink or bottle of water marked up about 20 cents more than at Valero or 7-11.

I stopped in to buy gas but I also needed hydration, so I got the Gnormous Ice (GI) and filled it up with water from a sink.

The clerk looked at me like I just launched a Hellfire from a Predator at his ’04 Camry.

“You got that water from the sink?” he asked.

“That’s where I get it at home.” I said.

I thought about lecturing him about how many bottled water bottles you see saying: “Source: Houston Municipal Water System.” or something like that. I realized that from where the water came and my well-being had nothing to do with “Stan’s” query.

Speaking of Bluetooths, or money-grubbing idiots, I was thinking of the encounter with the lady at the Radio Hut the other day. Radio Hut. Hut? Like a shack? Get it?

An attorney was supposed to call me last week for an affidavit as a witness in a labor dispute. I only have a cell phone and didn’t believe I had a headphone set. I figured I might need one because the lawyer said the process would probably take an hour.

I went into Radio Hut and asked the woman behind the counter about a headset for my phone. She immediately took me to the Bluetooth sets. She said every manufacturer is going to Bluetooth. She looked at my phone. She said there wasn’t even a place to plug in a headset there.

All the Bluetooth stuff was from $35 and above at Radio Shack Hut.

EEK EEK ALERT: DOES THIS SEEM TO BE MISSING SOMETHING? WELL, IF IT DOES IT IS? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST OF IT?

So anyway, I go to my truck and — to make a long story short — find the headphone set. Bluetooth this.

It seems like someone is always out there trying to scam you. That’s how you get rich, I guess. Buy ice. Buy Bluetooth. I think maybe some capitalistic piggie must have stolen the bottom of this is why it stopped at the Bluetooths for $35-plus. But oh well.

And I swear, the rest of what I had written was pretty good too. Maybe I can buy back what’s missing from my post. I’m sure it would cost me more than a GI. But probably not much more than a Bluetooth.