Jan272012

A tale of two windbags

By admin on January 27, 2012

Newt got cold-cocked in last night’s debate. I was happy to see that even though I halfway hope he wins the nomination because I feel the whole universe would see just how despicable and ridiculous this whiter-than-white man really is. And of course, if you are expecting Newt to beat the incumbent president, you are three off-ramps past delusional.

Timothy Egan, political columnist for The New York Times, does a masterful job of “deconstructing a demagogue” which is Newt Gingrich. That Newt, what a piece of work.

Arizona guv: Tongue-wagging, finger-wagging windbag

How is that for a description of Jan Brewer and her encounter with POTUS after Air Force One landed outside Phoenix? The photo showing Brewer pointing her finger at Obama got a lot of words today and is apparently boosting her book sales. Obviously, a lot of drama queen exists inside the right-wing Arizona governor. First she told the media she was intimidated by Obama and later she chalked up the finger-pointing episode to her natural gesticulating.

Maybe the governor is just an animated person. But we’re talking the President of the United States here. Show some respect for office if not the man, for God’s sake!

There were a few times when, working as a reporter, I was within hearing distance — using the word “earshot” might get me a visit from the Men in Black — of President George W. Bush. Now if you read this blog with even slight regularity when Bush was in office, you will surely know I was not his biggest fan. That is really an understatement. Nevertheless, I once sat three rows behind him in a small chapel during an Easter service then I joined a hungry pack of reporters who gathered as he answered a few questions after the service. I never had the chance to ask him a question at the two or three times I covered press gatherings involving the president. (I did speak to him one-on-one before he was Texas governor.) If I had the opportunity I certainly would have asked him my question with respect. That is even though my basic instinct was wanting to shout the word “a**hole” at him.

Of course, there was my job — and future ones — that would have precluded me from shouting a dirty word at him. I guess you don’t have to worry about getting fired, for awhile at least, when you hold elective office. Even so, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, thus spake Aretha. It’s just common decency, manners. People don’t seem to care about that anymore, especially a lot of those who are so self-absorbed in their own business and private lives. Someone needs to send those people for a time out — like that baby in the E-trade commercials — without their computers or iPhones or Blackberry.

Governor Brewer, go to your room!

 

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Jan262012

Pay no attention to the grouchy old man behind the computer

By admin on January 26, 2012

Those of you who know me probably know that I try to write here every weekday. Sometimes it is difficult. Other times it is impossible, for one reason or the other. I would say that is the way it is for every dedicated writer, or dare I say,  every person who toils for one reason or the next. Today is one of those days it is difficult.

The computer situation at work — shall we leave it thus as it is too damned complicated to explain — first exasperated me.

Then there was the business I need to visit to make a payment that apparently has never heard of regular hours.

And then, well, let’s just call her S.C.

S.C. was once one of my closest friends. I saw her today at the supermarket. I haven’t spoken to her in maybe three years although we both live and work within several blocks of each other.

I am not totally sure what happened to end our friendship. Make that, I am not sure why she ended our friendship. It was more like a break-up of a romantic relationship, something of which I have had too much experience. That’s too many break-ups, not too many romantic relationships. Ours wasn’t a romantic relationship although I think if someone didn’t know us they might think we were a couple. We certainly argued a lot. She never really said for sure why she ended our friendship. I like to, jokingly, think it was because I allegedly broke her toilet tank one night when I was sleeping on her couch. I know she had issues with me though. The toilet incident might have been the straw that broke that relationship’s back.

Those issues she harbored against me, she never shared, but I know what they were about. I won’t say how I know. But I was once a reporter and have ways of finding things out. These were issues that, had she just said something to me about it, I could’ve corrected my behavior. That didn’t happen though because. S.C. would go out of her way to avoid confrontation.

I think the last time I had a conversation with her was on the phone one night. I didn’t know that she had sent me a letter and for lack of a long explanation, I didn’t get it until much later. One of the things which she said upset her was something that occurred when we had run into each other at another store in another town at another time. We coincidentally both happened to be working that day.  I said: “Hey S.C.,” quietly, upon passing her. She apparently didn’t hear me so she thought I had snubbed her. Today, she was in the line for the courtesy booth at the store as I was walking out. I said hello, again quietly, upon walking out. All she did was crinkle up the ends of her mouth for a nanosecond, it seemed like more of a smirk or that she had just stepped on a piece of dog shit.

So I am also kind of mad about that. But I will get over it. Looking on the bright side, at least I was able to draw more than 500 words out of my crappy day.

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Jan252012

What the world needs now is another presidential debate like I need a hole in my head*

By admin on January 25, 2012

Whoever it was that is responsible for the mind-numbing numbers of “presidential debates” during the 2011-12 election years — the debates prior to the Commission for Presidential Debate ones — should be taken out and horse-whipped.

Yes, that is a very strong statement but the 27 or so debates among Republican candidates prior to the four debates this fall between President Obama and the GOP nominee have proven themselves as something to keep campaign dollars and the news media flying. Right now there are two, maybe three, more Republican candidates still running for the nomination than there should be and one has to imagine that wouldn’t be the case without the debates.

We are really getting nothing meaningful from the debates. Maybe some Republicans are and I agree I am not one of those. But if you have yet not had a chance to make up your mind who you want to be the GOP standard-bearer then you probably shouldn’t be voting. I would liken those who have seen these same clowns over and over and over and still haven’t decided who is preferential to people who stand for 10 minutes at the sandwich counter asking question after question without ordering. Is it that damn difficult to order a sandwich? Is it that hard to decide upon a Republican candidate for president? What do you have to decide? Is the (white) guy, yes guy, against all kind of taxes? Is he for prying into your private affairs? Then, hey, you got your candidate. Next!

Probably the best result of these debates, so far, was with what ease it took to see that our Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry is about the biggest goof-o-ramus one could imagine. Though once again, I don’t see why it took as long as it did to see Perry is such a loser on the stage outside Texas.

And while Herman Cain was somewhat entertaining at times, it certainly wasn’t the debates which showed that he wasn’t a real choice.

Debates are only about one thing: Who can best debate under a given format. I’m no expert although I did debate in high school and was partnered up with an excellent debater who ended up excelling at the contest as a college debater. RIP Waldo, you ol’ master debater! One important lesson I learned debating was that you only are only as good as you are seen by those who judge you. Say what? If you play the game, you likely win. If you are inept at the game, like Rick Perry, you go home.

Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney do very well at the type of debate most seen on the recent televised debates. Rick Santorum and Ron Paul hold their own and often have their moments. These forums shown are not the so-called “policy debates” that have been contested in schools for years and the kind in which I participated. The policy debates stick to one topic for the year and debaters have to research and debate based upon the efficacy produced by that research combined with the ability to speak and think on one’s feet. The debates one sees on TV among candidates don’t even have a clear winner. They are “judged” by the hoots and cheers of an audience and/or the opinion of so many pundits.

Gingrich fancies himself as a great orator and debater. He said he plans to challenge Obama to a series of three-hour “Lincoln-Douglas” style debates if the GOP former speaker is nominated. The Lincoln-Douglas or (LD), named after the series of 1858 Illinois U.S. Senate debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas, are closer to the policy debates than the current TV debates though with certain differences. Either way, Gingrich has such an ego that he probably believes he could out-debate God Almighty. One with knowledge in debate or arguments could easily make a case why Obama, a constitutional law professor and attorney, might just wipe the floor with Gingrich.

Romney, who has proved no slouch at recent televised debates, mocked Gingrich for his attacks on the moderators and news media which has provided the former Georgia congressman and Speaker with loud cheers from the many conservatives in the debate crowds.

There are two reasons one doubts the probability of such debates. First, such LD debates would not be to the president’s advantage. Secondly,  he would face little, if any, risk in refusing an LD debate over a traditional TV debate. Finally and most importantly, it seems very unlikely Gingrich would win the nomination.

Presidential campaigns have played themselves out over the history of the United States for many years without resorting to so many useless, one-sided, debates for the Republican nomination. The seemingly endless number of televised debates, at its base, lacks a fundamental fairness in that examination of major issues are only studied and commented upon from one party’s point of view.

In the end, it might not make any difference. The GOP appears to be winding down as a race between Romney and Gingrich. It seems unrealistic to believe the Republican powers that be will let Gingrich become their nominee. Romney as the standard-bearer could very likely be a losing proposition. But there is little room for debate that Gingrich would make a successful presidential candidate.

*Headline with apologies to the great rock band Cracker.

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Jan252012

Get out the tin foil, sun’s a-comin’

By admin on January 25, 2012

Okay. Listen very carefully. A hell of a solar storm is wrapping itself over the planet. Everyone needs to follow these important instructions:

1. Take off all your clothes.

2. Rub Elmer’s glue all over your body.

3. Wrap yourself in aluminum foil from head to toe. When you get to the head, you need to start wrapping the foil until you can make yourself a cone. A cone will act as an antenna for the radioactive impulses emanating from the sun. The charges will flow along all four sides of your body from the cone into the ground. In about three months, this will be a great place to plant strawberries, squash or watermelons as the ground becomes charged with radioactive particles.

4. Once the solar storm passes, carefully unwrap the aluminum foil from your body and take a long bath in a mixture of white vinegar and soap powder.

5. Enjoy living without your aluminum wrap.

This is your brain on drugs. No, wait it is radiation from the sun, or something or other.

Chump.

Please don’t follow the above instructions. Someone would have to take you out into the desert or the forest and shoot you for being too stupid.

There is, however, a “space hurricane” as one story tells it. It is the most intense sun storm in almost a decade. The solar event is causing some flights over the poles to reroute due to the radiation and interference with electrical navigation and communication equipment. Then there is the aurora borealis.

The northern lights may be quite spectacular in some places due to the solar activity. Just how far south it might be seen is beyond my paygrade. But check out this story. Plus, this NOAA map shows the area of auroral activity worldwide and shows activity as far South as St. Louis, albeit not heavy activity. Theoretically, the lights can be seen anywhere north of the Equator, depending on the intensity of the solar activity and magnetic pole positioning. One story I read says the lights may be seen once or twice every 100 years south of the Tropic of Cancer, which runs along the middle of Mexico, the Gulf of Mexico and near Key West in the Western Hemisphere.

I doubt we will see the northern lights here in Southeast Texas because, thankfully, we are due some heavy rain. I’d love to see the aurora borealis. But there are always a lot of spectacular sites one may see out there in the sky. I’ve spent more time than I can remember looking at eclipses, meteor showers, Halley’s, Hale-Bopp and the heavenly bodies viewed with both telescopes and without. All you have to do is look up. And like the story in the Chronicle says, all you have to do is look north for the aurora borealis and, hopefully, have a clear night.

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Jan232012

Newt won S.C. but don’t count out Mitt “The Glove” Romney

By admin on January 23, 2012

Whoa! Stop the presses! U.S. Senator throws a hissy fit over normal TSA airport protocol.

That is for sure. Republican Sen. Rand Paul, Kentucky, was all tizzied out today after he was halted by airport security in Nashville. Reports indicate a scanner alarm activated when Paul, son of Republican presidential nominee candidate, Ron Paul, passed through. The TSA personnel told Paul he would have to be patted down before boarding his flight. Paul said no can do. He was allowed to go after awhile, but not without stirring up a bunch of hard-nose Republican bulls**t. You don’t want to fly by the rules, Sonny boy, then hitch a ride with a big rig. I’ve done it before. But I can’t for the life of me remember what the guy was hauling. Maybe it was Republican bulls**t, couldn’t tell. Personally, I’d probably be a little miffed if the TSA wanted to pat me down, then again, I’ve been searched before. It’s not the end of the world and the Constitution didn’t go up in flames.

Newty but not nice

We all got a chance to hear, yet once again, how smart Newt Gingrich is after his win in the South Carolina Republican Primary.  God that guy is a blowhard. The cable media — I was flipping between CNN and MSNBC for the short time I watched the S.C. coverage — was making the former Speaker’s win seem like the Second Coming. They have to do that, I suppose, to keep folks interested and sell that soap or shares of stock or Victoria Secret panties.

Gingrich was trying to sound all presidential during his however-the-hell-long-it-was speech after declaring himself winner. If everybody sits back and relaxes and takes a breath or two and reads this graphic from The New York Times then they might see that Gingrich is ahead in the delegate count by four. It might be fun to see the GOPs being forced into a brokered convention. Maybe Gingrich would win that way or even Santorum. But I doubt it. I still predict Mitt “The Glove” Romney. I think The Glove is a great nickname for Romney, a man who has perhaps even more of a bizarre moniker than Barack Obama. Actually, I think Obama is really black Irish.

When in doubt, punt

It is a good bet I will miss the Super Bowl unless it proves to show half-decent television commercials. The quality of the expensive Super Bowl ads has withered like cheap grapes over recent years. Likewise, I am less excited about the NY Giants matchup with New England than I am with the musical guest, Madonna. Like a virgin, but back when I was preoccupied with zits.

Yeah, I never wrote about the heartbreaking loss my team, the Texans, suffered against Baltimore. They really should have beaten the Ravens. Too many mistakes. That kind of stuff will happen to a rookie quarterback such as Tim Tebow T.J. Yates. Oh well, the Texans hadn’t been that far before so it was a great ride. Perhaps we shall see a better team and better fortune for Houston next year. Stranger things have happened.

 

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Jan192012

Good Hair’s out. I’m sick.

By admin on January 19, 2012

Everybody and their dog, by now, likely knows Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry has dropped out of the insane spectacle known as the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Perry has thrown his support to Newt Gingrich on the day the Newtered’s second wife is claiming the former House Speaker wanted an open marriage. Better Newt than later.

It still seems highly unlikely anyone except Mitt Romney will be anointed GOP nominee barring some otherworldly occurrence. Even so Gingrich seems least likely of any of this crop’s top candidates, present or past, to defeat Obama in the General Election.

Frankly, I don’t care at this point who gets the nomination. I do wonder what the return of Perry will mean for the Texas political landscape for the next several years. Will his fellow Texas Republicans in the Legislature pile on Perry, thus rendering a bigger freak show than it is already? Will Perry run again for governor? If so, would he win? These are questions more important at this point to me than why the governor dropped out of the race. We already know why he dropped out: Real people unlike those who voted continuously for him in Texas don’t buy his act. They realize what those of us who didn’t vote for him already knew–that he was an empty cowboy hat and boots.

The less I hear the name Rick Perry on the national scene, the happier I will be.

What I am unhappy  about is my stomach. The headline above, Perry’s out, I’m sick. Well, I’m certainly not sick Perry dropped out. No, I am feeling ill today because my tummy has taken me on an unpleasant ride, the destination of which has mainly been the bathroom. If that is TMI already, I’m sorry.

I have no idea what has upset the tank, but at this point, I only want the feelings which run from stormy to gut-punch to cease and desist. I’ve already switched my workday from today to tomorrow, thus ruining a three-day weekend. That’s kind of crappy, if you ask me. I’ll not remark upon the pun. Time for a nap.

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Jan192012

Someone you can call to do your taxes who’s not me

By admin on January 19, 2012

Down on the left of my computer desk top is a copy of my W-2 form from my part-time job. For various reasons, this past tax year didn’t see a lot of income from my other job as a freelancer. That needs to change. That is another story. I will use a computer application I have used for the past four years to file. It’s pretty simple. I am all for simple.

I could rant here about the need for simplifying the tax code. It needs simplifying. Or I could rail on how the top 1 percent need to pay more taxes. A New York Times interactive feature the other day showed what percentage in which I happen to reside. I am in the bottom 30 percent.

All I know is the quicker I get my return done, the quicker my fate will be revealed. Will I pay or will I be refunded? Probably I will receive a small refund. To some fat cats, that means I am one of those who doesn’t pay taxes so I should just shut up. The hell you say.

Well, I just know I will file pretty soon. It won’t be a big deal. If it is, don’t call me to do your taxes ’cause you’d just end up playing tennis in one of those places where the Feds keep you for 20 months or so while you work on your backhand. But here is a good person to call for those complicated returns, Jake Barnett. He’s the 13-year-old math prodigy featured Sunday on “60 Minutes.”

Jake’s is an amazing story, first brought to light in this article by the Indianapolis Star’s Dan McFeely. The child faced a rocky road because of autism. It wasn’t long before he was taking college classes and will graduate in a couple of years. If he doesn’t end up doing something which wins a Nobel Prize or two, he can at least earn a great living preparing taxes. Hey Jake’s parents: I doubt he needs any motivation, but if he does …

 

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Jan182012

Captain Francesco Schettino may go down, though not with his ship

By admin on January 18, 2012

The cruise ship Costa Concordia looks like a beached monster whale as it remains capsized after running aground with more than 4,000 passengers on an island off Italy’s Tuscan coast. Eleven are dead and almost two dozen passengers and crew are missing. Among the missing are two American passengers.

An amazing recording is being played on CNN — a transcript of which is here – as this is written of a supposed ship-to-shore radio transmission between the Italian Coastal Guards and Capt. Francesco Schettino, the ship’s skipper. In the recording, the port authority angrily inquires about the conditions on board the ship, not knowing until this conversation that Schettino had abandoned ship with passengers and crew remaining on board. It didn’t help to get to the truth that the captain first lied about having left the 952-foot, 17-deck cruise ship.

First Schettino said he abandoned the ship because it was “keeling.” The captain told the Coastal Guard that he was on a boat coordinating the efforts to evacuate the vessel.

Port authority: “What? You’ve abandoned the ship?”

Schettino: ”No. What abandon? I’m here.”

M/S Costa Concordia. Cezary p photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

You’re either on board or your not.

Italian Coastal Guard Capt. Gregorio De Falco ordered Schettino back on the ship several times in the conversation, adding very bluntly:

 “Look Schettino, you might have been saved from the sea, but I will make sure you go through a very rough time…I will make sure you go through a lot of trouble. Get on board, damn it.”

Schettino never returned on board and is under house arrest, facing the possibility of multiple manslaughter and other charges.

Early reports accuse the captain of navigating too near the rocky coast before beaching the ship.

 ”While this is a terribly sad time for everyone involved, we want to recognize the tremendous efforts of Concordia’s crew, who along with the Italian Coast Guard and authorities, helped to evacuate more than 4,000 passengers and crew members from the ship in very difficult conditions,” Micky Arison, Carnival CEO said in a press release.

One supposes Arison means he was singling out the acts of those Concordia crew members who were not the captain.

The shipwreck has touched off a lot of talk concerning the safety of these maritime behemoths. Previously, most of the safety efforts were aimed at sanitation and prevention of disease. Crime on board these ships also has been a hot topic. A database of Centers of Disease Control ship inspections for sanitation can be found on this link. Also, here is a database of crimes on board cruise ships reported to the FBI between 2007-2008 which were compiled by the Sun-Sentinel newspaper in South Florida.

 

 

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Jan162012

Note to self: Self …

By admin on January 16, 2012

I spent an hour and a half writing something only to delete it near the end. It wasn’t a controversial piece. It was not slanderous or libelous or otherwise defaming. It was actually sort of funny. Therein lies the problem. It was “sort of” funny. Not funny, certainly not hilarious. Just not funny. My post was in the tall tale tradition of great writers such as Mark Twain, though certainly not as folksy and, of course, not anywhere in the same league.

This exercise in futility makes me ask: Did I just waste an hour? No. How can I answer otherwise? I relived a pleasant memory and made myself chuckle a few times. But I didn’t want what I had written out there forever. That is not to say that my body of work does not contain certain instances of crap. It does. Perhaps, what I do here online is an exercise but not futile after all. I create. I write. I amuse, myself. Maybe what I wrote will be a basis for some fresh material for a book. The idea is coming together. Now, if only I can center my thoughts.

Hmmm? Oh, I’m sorry. I was just thinking out loud.

 

 

 

 

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Jan132012

Let us now all say “Ahhhhh” for the weekend

By admin on January 13, 2012

It’s a long weekend coming and I’m ready as can be. Two NFL divisional games tomorrow, two Sunday including the Texans-Ravens. My second-fave team, the Saints play San Fran tomorrow. I saw an episode last night of Anthony Bourdain’s “The Layover” in which he was featuring San Francisco dining and bars. One bar lady said the two things tourists should not call San Francisco are “San Fran” and “Frisco.” Well, Frisco this. Sorry, my Bay Area friends, just jivin.’

One activity I will not partake of very much during the weekend is computer use. That’s because my work computer is about to drive me totally insane. If you knew the circumstances you would understand. I don’t mean to be cryptic. I will say this: “Dial up.” Slow as a snail’s butt in a molasses spill. I continue to be told relief will be coming soon in the form of a Blackberry. Somehow, I am not comforted.

Well, it’s time to read a few blogs and head on into the weekend. Listening to sports talk radio this week, it seemed as if the “spundits”, my name for sports pundits, can’t agree how badly Baltimore will beat Houston. That doesn’t bother me. I don’t expect the Texans to win but there is always — in the cliché-ridden world of sport — the chance that comes with “any given Sunday.” So we shall see, bees knees.

I say again: Go Texans!

 

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