How are the terrorists going to get their 77 virgins this way?

The Central Intelligence Agency has reportedly stopped another potential al Qaeda threat in which a terrorist was to have blown up a U.S. bound airliner with a bomb in his skivvies.

Well, yeah, I get underwear and the hiding place thing but I mean, symbolically, think of the first thing to go. A real dork. I mean, beside being a potential mass murderer, but blow up his ‘nads? Jesus, Joseph and Mary, and pulled pork sandwiches! Didn’t somebody already try that and wound up growing increasingly old in a tiny jail cell?

Personally, I’m very glad someone is out there stopping these assholes who want to blow people up. I’ve had mixed feelings about some of the ways these terrorists are shot first and tried later. But those feelings on the side of the Ts were never all that strong.

Caitlin Hayden, deputy spokeswoman at the National Security Council, said the bomb never posed a risk to public safety. Uh, I kind of doubt that. Caitlin? What kind of name is that for an NSC spokeswoman? How old is she? Twelve, and captain of her middle school girl’s soccer team? Sorry, Caitlin, hope you can take a joke and I don’t have drones following me everywhere I go.