Posted on by Dick

Teacher Figg and stoner Herbie Head welcome new element 115

Class, we would like to welcome 115 to the discussion. Who is “we?” Why it’s me, myself and I. No, that’s a little funny I made. We, are the class, with your teacher, me. I’m Mr. Figg. And yes, that includes you, Mr. Herbie Head. So just what is 115 and why are we talking about it?

Why, 115 is the newest element. It is the most recent addition to the Periodic Table of the Elements. Say what, man? You know, Mr. Head, the table you memorized for Chemistry I in the 10th Grade? Say what? You did take Chemistry in high school. Oh wow man, did I. I took every kind of chemical I could get my hands on. You know the saying: “Better love through chemistry.” Uh, I think that is “Better LIFE through chemistry.” Yeah, that too.

Okay, bring up your periodic charts from the Web and look at the top, right corner. And look on the bottom row of that group and you will find “Uup.” It is located between “Fl and Lv.” It has the number 115 on it.

Does anyone have a guess what Uup stands for? Yes, Mr. Head. Uh, wow man, I think it stands for U up. You know, like “U up for a good time?

Uh, no. No, the Uup represents “ununpentium.” Those are Greek and Latin words for 115. How nifty, huh? It sits in between flerovium and livermorium.

Uh, hey Mr. Figg, man, does any of those letters stand for a BC Powder, those words are kind of giving me a headache?

No, Mr. Head. They do not. Now here in a nutshell: We have the atomic number, such as 115, which stands for the number of protons found in the nucleus of an element. So for ununpentium, it has 115 protons in its nucleus. Now uranium has 92 protons, thus making it the heaviest element that nature has to offer. So then, what does that make 115? (Sigh) Yes, Mr. Head.

That makes, like, one really heavy dude, man. So like all those protons are weighted down so 115 is like the heaviest unnatural dude. Yes, Mr. Head, that is correct. The dude, er, ah, element was made in a laboratory. And eventually a scientific body might name 115, something else? Yes, Mr. Herb. I mean, Mr. Head.

You mean, like, Ms. Conner’s? She has one scientific bod!

Uh, I think it’s about bell time. You can find more information in this well-written article on the newest element. It’s on the National Geographic Web site. Have a nice evening.

You too, Figg man.