Author: Dick

Images such as this result from an afternoon with pathetic television programming.

It is a gloomy, warm Christmas afternoon on the Upper Texas Coast. I have noticed over time that unless you like traditional Christmas television programming on Christmas day — which I really don’t — then you are basically SOL when it comes to quality TV viewing. I mean, I like Law and Order reruns as much as anyone but there gets to be a tipping point. However, I let that boredom lead me to something somewhat worthwhile, that being downloading a free digital photo editor. I picked Ifranview. I have only had a little time to see what it will do for me, but it’s free so it’s way ahead of the curve compared to some other software.

My slow-cooked pork roast and red potatoes should be done by now so I shall wish whomever, if anyone, is reading this out there a Merry Christmas. Urrrp. (That was me belching in advance.)

One can hardly get through an evening television newscast without a report of some new medical finding concerning whatever disease or affliction one might have. As the George Carlin “News” routine went:

“Scientists have discovered that saliva causes stomach cancer. — PAUSE — But only after being swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.”

While some use might trickle from the knowledge that a) coffee b) red wine c) sex may possibly a) improve b) worsen c)destroy the a) brain b)pancreas c)testicles more often than not news consumers are left confused and frightened after hearing the “latest” scientific research. Add to the fact that some people tend to take such reports as a done deal then you have yourself a big mess.

My point is that for certain diseases or afflictions scientist may know a) a lot b) a little c) next to nothing even after hundreds of years of a) speculation b) folk medicine c) voodoo d) science and e) scientific drivel. Take my thumb (please) for instance.

Right now my right thumb hurts like a sonofabi**h. The reason behind my thumb hurting stems from osteoarthritis, pushed into a second stage with a bullet because I stupidly fell on a sidewalk and jammed that thumb while trying to stay off the ground. After having my hand in a cast for six weeks, the orthopedic surgeon I see for the injured thumb had me fitted for a thumb cast to wear when my thumb is hurting.

This morning, I noticed my thumb cast was not in the pocket of my laptop case where I left it yesterday. I figured that it probably fell out of that pocket inside my truck. I wish it had been that benign. Upon pulling into the parking lot at work this morning, I looked on the pavement wet with rain only to see my thumb cast just as I got out of the truck. The cast had been run over by a car and was no longer useful. Being Christmas Eve I correctly deduced that I could not score a replacement until Monday. So I guess I will be wearing an old arm and hand splint while my thumb is hurting, at least until Monday. Now, one might wonder what the hell is he talking about? First he goes on about diseases and studies and veers off on his thumb. Okay, fair enough.

Actually, I was going to discuss why my arthritic thumb hurts as badly as it does and how the reason behind it is not certain even after years of science and knowledge about arthritis.

My thumbs are my latest body areas to be beset by excruciating pain from osteoarthritis. I have had severe problems from degenerative arthritis in my cervical spine for more than 15 years. After two surgeries I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with yet more disc problems and developed major chronic pain problems to the extent I have to take methadone to control that pain. I don’t write this for sympathy. I live with my arthritis the best I can and try to take it in stride that s**t happens.

In especially the last five or so years I have noticed certain weather changes bring about more pain than at other times. The pain is most prevalent during times such as now when we are in a constant barrage of weather systems, and a never-ending battle between warm and cold air.

I experienced quite a bit of pain just prior to and after the last two hurricanes — Rita and Ike — that I saw up close and personal. I have narrowed down the prime weather phenomenon associated with my pain as low barometric pressure.

Now for no telling how long science, medicine, folk tales and few nuts thrown in there have debated the ability to “forecast” weather using arthritic joints. A recent article by Johns Hopkins Medicine, the combined entity that includes the university, hospital and health care system, points out how deeply divided the body of opinion runs when it comes to weather and arthritis pain.

“Although some evidence exists that people living in warmer, drier climates experience fewer episodes of arthritis pain, climate does not affect the course of the disease. At most, it may affect symptoms of arthritis pain.

“One theory holds that a drop in air pressure (which often accompanies cold, rainy weather) allows tissues in the body to expand to fill the space, meaning that already inflamed tissue can swell even more and cause increased arthritis pain. Other possibilities: Pain thresholds drop in colder weather; cold, rainy days affect mood; and during colder weather people are less likely to be outside and get the exercise that normally helps keep arthritis pain in check.”

So the more we know the less we really learn or vice versa. Nonetheless, the body of evidence aside I know that my thumb hurts and that the time has come to immobilize it for a little while.

Oh, and have a Merry Christmas!

What with our celebrity-manic culture fawning over a shirtless President-elect Obama in a photo shot as he vacations in Hawaii one might think a U.S. president-to-be or president was never seen without a shirt before. Not so. The photo here shows president-to-be — albeit in about 20 years later — John F. Kennedy sans shirt in the tropical sun when he skippered PT-109. I am sure that somewhere there exists a pic of Hollywood Ronald Reagan shirtless.

And while the White House Web site kids pages list one of 6th president John Quincy Adams’ pastimes as swimming, it fails to mention that Adams used to swim nekkid. Ditto for Teddy Roosevelt. Both were said to have swam in the Potomac River near the White House wearing nothing but a smile. The top 5 presidents I would not have wanted to see without a shirt:

1. William Howard Taft
2. Grover Cleveland
3. John Adams (His Rotundity)
4. Abraham Lincoln
5. Bill Clinton

I am glad that the paparazzi wasn’t around to capture pictures of either presidents Adams, TR, or any of the other presidents swimming in the buff. Likewise, I hope if Obama decides he and Michelle want to go swimming once they are in the White House that the first couple will their swimming with their clothes on. At least the president.

If you have visited this site more than once or twice you may have lately noticed some cosmetic changes. The changes may be for the better, for the worst, or perhaps they don’t mean a thing ’cause they ain’t got that swing … doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wah.

But change can be good. Every once in awhile you got to get up and move that couch from the corner of the room to the middle or to the back or suspend it from the ceiling, or burn it.

So I decided to move the chair, so to speak, because Blogger made it relatively easy to make blog changes by enabling a “drag-and-drop” features for layout. One might still end up having to search for some HTML help as I did to solve my e-mail problem, at least I think it’s fixed, but making layout changes are now much simpler.

My friend Sally wrote me today on one of my personal accounts to say she is a big fan of head cheese. Being of Polish descent and from the North (Massachusetts), she explained, she likes head cheese made with pig’s feet. Like hogshead, I’ve also never eaten pig’s feet but I think if I had a choice — like I was stranded on an island — between having to subsist on pig’s feet or hogshead I believe the pig’s feet would win hands (or feets) down.

Now if you are wondering how I bolted from blog talk to pig’s feet let me just say, dude, here, anything is possible. No, Sally told me she tried to e-mail me via the address that was in the upper right hand chimney or column of my blog only to have a bounced message “Mailer-daemon” notice. If you are interested in how I solved my problem … well, it doesn’t matter whether you are interested or not. But you knew that. You knew deep down in your heart that I was going to tell you how I solved the problem and nothing short of a catastrophic earthquake or the Rapture would prevent me.

I went back to the same “gadget” or “widget” or “thingamajig” I previously used. But to link with my Hotmail account, I searched Blogger for some HTML mojo I could use within this gadget. Lo and behold, I found it. And, ta-daaa, now mail may be sent through the old mail bag.

Alas, the world is once again safe for pig’s feat head cheese, and thus I have another blog post down. Isn’t the world a great place?

Boudain balls?

I didn’t even know that

boudain had balls.

A talkative fellow I encountered in the grocery store a little while ago asked me a very provocative question as he was hunting for some crawfish boudain.

“You ever have any hogshead cheese?” he asked.

I told him that I couldn’t say as I had. I have had all kinds of mystery meats both at home and abroad but for some reason, I had never given any thought at all to eating hogshead cheese. He told me how one of the Cajun markets in Port Ar-teur (as we used to call Port Arthur, Texas, due to its strong population of Cajun folks)had some magnificent hogshead cheese.

Actually, the area in which I live is considered by many authorities on Cajun life as part of the so-called “Cajun Country.” This is because many Acadian people left life in Southwest Louisiana for nearby Southeast Texas, where shipyards sprung up during World War II and were followed by the multitude of petrochemical plants in this area.

Back to hogshead cheese, or head cheese or whatever you want to call it, the opportunity just never arose in which I either ate or had the chance to eat hogshead cheese. I probably knew what it was before this fellow asked me about my experience with hogshead cheese this afternoon. I just naturally wince at eating any creature’s head. I don’t know why. I say that truthfully, because I’ve eaten mountain oysters, snails, monkey, raccoon, and Bambi, not to mention the more normally accepted animal fare of pig, cow, fish, shellfish, chicken, turkey and last but not least, that curious animal known as the Spam.

Luckily, the guy I was talking to in the store found his crawfish boudain and we thus ended our talk — which started from our autos in the parking lot to inside at the sausage-boudain section. I came back home hungry for information about hogshead cheese. I’m sorry if you are disappointed that I didn’t take the predictable route and said: “Hmmm, I think I’ll try some of that there hogshead cheese.” Here is what I found from Wikipedia:

“Head cheese is in fact not a cheese, but meat slices from the head of a calf or pig (sometimes a sheep or cow), served in aspic, with onion, black pepper, allspice, bayleaf, salt and or vinegar. It may also include meat from the feet, tongue and heart. It is usually eaten cold or at room temperature as a luncheon meat. It is sometimes also known as souse meat, particularly if pickled with vinegar.”

That sounds like and it looks somewhat like Spam, even though that doesn’t make it rise to the level for me to stop what I’m doing, throw the laptop on top of the bed and run back to the store to cop me a pound of head cheese. For one thing, aspic, which “is a dish in which ingredients are set into a gelatin made from a meat stock or consommé. It is also known as cabaret,” is not very appealing to me. Sorry.

So I can’t say if I will ever eat hogshead cheese. I really like boudain, even though it doesn’t have anything to do with hogshead cheese except hogshead cheese is also a favorite among some Cajuns. By the way, I noticed on the Web site for Zummo, which is a local sausage and boudain manufacturer and I guess would have to be my favorite boudain, that the local heart institute at Christus St. Elizabeth Hospital, a block or two away from me, labels Zummo boudain as “heart-healthy food.” That’s always a plus.

I’m hungry so it’s time to sign off. Eat more boudain. As for the hogshead cheese … I am … not so sure.