Author: Dick

If it were up to certain people among our American brethern (and sisteren?), our government would be conducted in total secrecy. The only media that would operate would be a state-run media that says what the government tells it what to say. You might ask: Isn’t that the case right now? Well, no, not yet, even though Fox News sometimes seems like it is the Bush Administration Network.

One of our government’s biggest secrecy squirrels is Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y. King is chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee and apparently thinks that if a government official passes gas it might alert Al-Quida.

King, who Slate media critic Jack Shafer called “an exploding carbuncle masquerading as a member of Congress,” was all steamed up and ready boil Bill Keller and The New York Times in oil over the recent SWIFT revelations. He called the Times’ publishing the story about the Treasury Department and CIA secretly looking into an international database of financial records “treasonous.”

King said that he had been briefed in the past about the foreign terrorist plot to blow up New York City tunnels that was revealed today by government officials. King said of the news “It would have been better if this had not been disclosed.”

So Congressman Carbuncle, just when should it be released — when the first blast goes off in the tunnel? I don’t think there are very many out there who don’t believe that some government secrets need to be kept. But if the government is doing something illegal, or if foreign terrorists plan to blow something up in the U.S., then, yeah, I’d kind of like to know about it.

King should secretly slip out of Congress into oblivion where he belongs. If he wants to make his location secret then, it’s fine with me.

Felipe Calderon was declared winner of the Mexican presidential race. Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador declares: (en Ingles)”I’ll get you my little pretty”.”

Meanwhile, Vladimir is acting kind of strange.

Calderon: “Is it the Chad?”

It seems that the United States is not the only country on this hemisphere that can have presidential elections from Hell. Ruling party candidate Felix Calderon appears to have a tortilla-chip’s edge on leftist candidate Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, in the Mexican presidential race. But the latter candidate is not conceding just yet. Lopez Obrador, the former Mexico City mayor, has charged voting irregularities had taken place and plans to mount legal challenges. Note to Ted Olson and David Boies and hundreds of other election attorneys out there: Start brushing up on your Espanol.

Although the situation following Sunday’s election appears to remain peaceful, Mexico has had its share of tumultuous political moments. Much of this tradition stems from the influence of the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl. According to one version of this deity’s story:

“Long before the Aztecs saw the sign in the valley of Mexico, the snake had been a revered animal in the religions of the ancient Central America. One of their main gods, Quetzalcoatl, sometimes appeared as a winged serpent. The legend of Quetzalcoatl says that upon finding a mirror, and seeing himself for the first time, he was surprised and distraught to learn that he had the face not of a god but of a man.
In his depression he spent the night drinking pulque, a type of cactus beer. Once intoxicated he had an incestuous relationship with his sister. After awaking the next morning, hungover and ashamed, he left Mexico on a boat of serpents, telling the people that he would return in a ‘one reed’ year (ancient Mexicans had a sophisticated calendar and counted years by combining a number and an object).”

Cortez and the conquistadors, the story goes on to say, arrived in Veracruz in a reed year. The Totanaca people thought him to be the second coming of Quetzalcoatl. Since the Totanaca were not happy with the Aztecs, they aligned themselves with Cortez and a) the rest is history. b)things went downhill from there. c)thus was the birth of chewing gum. d)None of the above.

Really, I have no earthly idea what Quetzalcoatl has to do with Mexico’s political history, except of course if you look at the snake locked in combat with the eagle on the nation’s flag. But I’m sure something can be learned from this myth. For instance, no matter how hungover and ashamed you are, never go off riding on a boat loaded with serpents.

Rush Limbaugh
after Viagra

Rightist talk show host Rush Limbaugh will not be charged with possessing Viagra without a prescription. Prosecutors in West Palm Beach, Fla., said they had been “up and down” about filing charges that could have negated a plea deal made on charges Limbaugh had earlier been “doctor-shopping” to obtain the powerful opioid analgesic Oxycontin.

A spokesman for the motormouth host said Limbaugh felt prosecutors made the “erect decision.”

Legal analysts had predicted that if Limbaugh had been charged he would have faced a “stiff sentence” for his previous run-in with the law.

British pun expert B. Jeepers Pidworth said the Limbaugh affair had produced a renewed interest in puns, the figures of speech also known as paronomasia.

“It is rather hard,” said Pidworth, “for puns to find their way into stories of national and international interest these days. The Limbaugh Viagra arrest is a recent pinnacle in the modern practice of punning. The use of puns have certainly elevated during the recent hoopla surrounding this Limbaugh fellow.”