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The nexis of nothing and not much of nothing (That’s what she said)

wow. As in, underwhelmed-type “wow.”

Who would have thought our little corner of the state of Texas would be, sort of, the center of the media universe. At least, it was for a little while yesterday. That proved true as well in the completely ridiculous story of a New York congressman sex-texting his Newt, a sordid tale named appropriately by some in the media for such a political scandal — “Weinergate.”

“Oh I wish I weren’t a Congressman Anthony Weiner, that is what I truly wouldn’t be-e-e,
cause if I were a Congressman Anthony Weiner everyone would say WTF? to me. Another verse, with more gusto …”

Or something like that.

I have lost faith, interest, whatever you lose with a newspaper, with my hometown newspaper, “The Beaumont Enterprise.” The Hearst Newspaper product has a storied history, or a history of stories, at least. It still has a couple of good writers. But I think the Internet has turned the paper into something much less than it was and considerably less than what it could be, sorry but I couldn’t end with a preposition.

Call it psychic misfire or where one story ends and the other begins, I did buy today’s Enterprise in a store. Buying one these days is indeed a rarity even though it is a time this former reporter should be supporting newspapers. The Internet has ruined the Enterprise in more ways than one. I will not go deeply but anyone with a knowledge of newspaper newsrooms these days could easily figure out what is wrong with the my local paper.

Still, “Mass grave hysteria,” today’s below-the-fold story kind of sums up what is wrong with news today. That is even though the headline refers to the story about a psychic who managed to get scores of cops and media types, complete with their sat trucks and helicopters, out into the Big Thicket yesterday.

A lot of weird stuff happens in “The Thicket,” which refers both to a region which is both a botanical crossroads of the contiguous United States and a federal preserve under the control of the National Park Service. There, is this little lane through the woods known as “Bragg Road” which has drawn teens and curiosity seekers for decades to see the mysterious lights that seem to look different to each who catches a glimpse. Some say it is swamp gas. Others say it the spirit of a railroad man who worked on nearby rails. Depending on who tells the story, the railroader lost his hand while hitching together some rail cars and the ghost now walks around carrying his railroad lantern looking for that missing glove-holder.

So the story that sort of did, sort of didn’t, happen yesterday is not a real classic Big Thicket story though one day, with much telling and mis-telling, it may so become.

What happened is Liberty County authorities, where this psychic non-drama took place, got a call from a woman claiming to be a psychic. She reportedly was from the Texas Panhandle but was calling from a Austin-area telephone. That sounds kind of like the wonderful introduction the classic live version of the Waylon Jennings tune, “Bob Wills Is Still the King:”

“Here is a song I wrote on a plane between Dallas and Austin. Going to El Paso.”

That sounded kind of freaky back in the 70s, but not today to anyone who flies American Airlines in Texas.

The psychic conjured up a horrible scenario of chopped up kiddies with plenty of blood and gore told with just enough of the right details to make local authorities take notice.

As is the case when anything more than a 10-96 goes down in these parts, all the area authorities like to join in, those such as the Texas Rangers, the FBI, Gator 911, the Hardin-Jefferson Screaming Hawks High School Band, the Coast Guard, the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality, and the formidable Beaumont ISD Police Department.

And great googly moogly, when you’ve got that many cops in one place, you know who is going to show up don’t you? That’s right. The Dunkin’ Donut Mobile Rescue Corps.  No, the news media. This event/non event taking place right in the epicenter of a couple of small news markets such as Huntsville, Lufkin and Beaumont, and a large one, namely Houston, plus the national guys such as CNN out of Dallas, brings in mucho media.

Search did the police. They found some rotting meat in a malfunctioning freezer. On a really, really hot Texas day. Jeez, those police deserve a bonus for that. They also found some blood which the owner, reportedly a long-haul trucker who was on the road and was quite surprised to hear a national “happenin'” was going down at his place, said came from a botched suicide attempt. The botchee, was allegedly the landlord’s daughter’s ex boyfriend who was stationed at Fort Hood. Although I do not encourage suicide, I can see why the soldier tried, since he was stationed at Fort Hood.

But the cops found no chopped up bodies of kids or anything else.

Meanwhile, “Naughty politician sexted LU student,” the Enterprise head read, “LU” referring to local Lamar University. Yes, a local 26-year-old was getting nastygrams from Anthony Weiner. The young lady went on Sean Hannity’s show and reportedly — I don’t watch Hannity — gave a very grown-up account of the … whatever it is. ABC reportedly paid a very grown-up amount between $10,000 and $15,000 for an interview with our local 15 minutes of fame celeb Meagan Broussard. I sound snarky, but I could do a lot with $15,000, so I will be less than judgmental.

I close this media-rich episode with a message that just came up at the bottom of my blog saying: “You do not have permission to do that.”

Everywhere you have a critic.

 

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The newest Gerald Ford class carrier? Why the JFK 2.0

Lt.j.g. John F. Kennedy on board the PT-109 circa 1943.

The U.S. Navy announced Sunday that the next nuclear aircraft carrier built will be the USS John F. Kennedy (CVN 79.) The Gerald R. Ford-class carrier will be the second ship to bear the name of the 35th president. Kennedy, who was assassinated in 1963, served as a commander of the patrol boat PT-109 during World War II. The first USS John F. Kennedy (CV 67) was decommissioned in 2007 after 40 years of service.

This news of the name announcement bears some significance to me because I had several friends who served on the first JFK. As a matter of fact, were it not for a friend’s dissuasion I might have served on the first Kennedy instead of what was at the time, the Navy’s oldest destroyer on active duty, the USS Agerholm.

Hearing tales from my friend Bob McCarthy of having to wait forever in line for liberty from the mammoth Kennedy, which had a crew of more than 5,000 officers and men, or any carrier for that matter, made me want to sail on something smaller. The reason I remotely entertained the idea of going to the “Big John” was that when I decided to seek sea duty I had run into my first division officer at our base’s Navy Exchange. The lieutenant was personnel officer on the JFK at the time and I had mentioned to the lieutenant that I was wanting to transfer to sea duty.  I could have ended up spending all of my Navy career except for boot camp in Mississippi had I not have put in for a ship

The lieutenant, who was in on leave, told me that if I wanted he could get me transferred to work with him. Funny, I also had a former division officer who was a chief warrant officer 4, who told me I could come work for him in his Seabee unit at Great Lakes, Ill. I told the LT that I really wouldn’t feel comfortable on a ship that was bigger than the hometown in which I was raised. I told Mr. D that I wasn’t very disposed to the winters of which I had heard of at Great Lakes, the place where I also went to boot camp. I felt flattered having two former officers appreciating my skills enough to ask me to work for them, but I decided to roll the dice and things came out just fine in the end.

I likewise am happy that the Navy has decided to name the new carrier again as a John F. Kennedy. His story as skipper of PT-109 and of his heroics after his boat was rammed by a Japanese destroyer off the Solomon Islands is well-known in American history. Kennedy received the Navy and Marine Corps medal for his valor as well as a Purple Heart for his injuries.

As president he was also an inspiring figure, even to someone from the East Texas Pineywoods who was only 8 years old when Kennedy’s life was cut short that long-ago day in Dallas.

The first JFK was the second carrier named for a president. The first was the USS Franklin D. Roosevelt, in 1947. Since that time, in 1968, eight more carriers have been named for presidents: Eisenhower, Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Washington, Truman, Reagan, George H.W. Bush, and Ford. One nuclear carrier was named for World War II Pacific leader Fleet Adm. Chester Nimitz. Two other carriers were named for longtime House Armed Services leader Carl Vinson and long-serving Senate Armed Services chair John C. Stennis.

One might debate the greatness of some these ships’ namesakes, but they all had in one way or another particular meaning to the Navy some more so than others. But as a Memorial Day thought, I think another JFK is a good name choice, especially more so than a Franklin Pierce, a Warren G. Harding or Calvin Coolidge.  And although others as well as myself might not agree, there may someday be a Richard Nixon (who was a World War II Navy officer), a LBJ (another Navy officer) and a George W. Bush (who landed on a carrier for an ill-advised celebration of the end of Iraq combat otherwise known as “Mission Accomplished.”

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Remember the squids and Happy Mom’s Day to all the moms!

 

U.S. Navy photo by MC1 Steve Smith

 

For a Friday and Mother’s Day weekend I thought I’d show a little tin can Navy action to help folks remember that — no matter the heroics this week of the Seals — we should also remember all those other sailors (squids, swabbies) at sea like those on board the above ship. It’s a cool picture of a night fire exercise from the guided missile destroyer USS Nitze which is in a training formation with ships from the Mexican and Brazilian navies and the Coast Guard. This reminds me of the night fire exercises the destroyer on which I sailed in the Navy underwent using 5-inch/38-caliber star shell projectiles that would definitely light up the night. Happy Mother’s Day to all those mothers out there.

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Watch the soap: “As The Government Turns”

The machinery of the federal government is gearing down toward a halt. I know this from personal experience, but I will not go into it just because. No, I could relate some of that familiarity but I see no reason to, it being fairly pedestrian. Besides, we still have more than eight hours to go even though I don’t believe in miracles — at least when the federal government is concerned. By federal government, I include Congress.

Give us your tired, your poor and your idiots, the latter of whom will make our laws.

Military men and women aren’t happy campers, reports Navy Times, for the same reason I am not doing cartwheels. The threat of no pay sometime down the road is on our minds. The American Federation of Government Employees, a mighty fine labor organization I might say, a.k.a. AFGE, is seeking an injunction which would prohibit military and other federal workers who are deemed essential from having to work without pay. The AFGE says they have the Constitution to back them up.

“Hundreds of thousands of federal employees will be required to work during a shutdown, and there’s no guarantee that Congress will keep the administration’s promise to pay those employees once the shutdown is over,” AFGE National President John Gage said.

The suit charges that the Obama administration is violating the Appropriations Clause and Thirteenth Amendment by requiring federal civilian employees to work without pay during a period of lapsed federal appropriations.

Interesting.

Really, there isn’t anything to do but sit back and watch all the foolishness and silliness in this gargantuan soap opera played out by the people who govern the “greatest nation on Earth.”

For a little insanity not directly related to the government shutdown: BP has bought an eastern-facing beach of Cat Island, a barrier island in the Mississippi Sound. The part of the beach is the top of the “T” of the T-shaped island that is about eight miles south of Gulfport, Miss. Parts of the island were long in private hands. So, says a BP press flak,  it would be easier for the company to clean up the beach, due to the massive Deepwater Horizon explosion-caused oil spill which happened one year ago this month, than to have to deal with the regulatory niceties of cleaning up private property. You break it, you buy it, I guess. Candy, I bet. S**t, I reckon.

On that note, I know I am off from my part-time job until at least Tuesday. We shall see if it is longer than that, and if I will be back to begging for donations on the blog if the threatened shutdown materializes.

 

 

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Forget PC, an aircraft carrier CO should exercise good judgment

It is a whole different Navy today. That is about all I can say about the “comic” videos produced and shown four or five years ago to the crew of the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise. Those videos are just now being uncovered and made known to the public.

The videos were made  for the ship’s “movie time” in 2006 and 2007 by the Enterprise executive officer (XO), or second in command, Capt. Owen Honors. He is now commanding officer of the Enterprise, the Navy’s first nuclear powered carrier. During the period of time the videos, which contain some lewd topics and language as well as simulated sexual acts, were shown the then-ship’s captain  was on board the Enterprise as well as an admiral commanding the carrier group. The videos showed Honors insisting the shows were being made and aired without knowledge of the then commanding officer and the admiral on board.

I decided to wait and do a little ‘splaining before linking this article from aol.com’s “Politics Daily” which includes an edited video produced by the Enterprise XO. The video is from the Web site of Norfolk, VA., TV station, WAVY.com. The video contains some material which may be offensive although it’s hardly porn or even soft porn.

Some sailors, including female ones, have defended Honors. They say the videos are just something to liven up the routine of deployment. It is obvious Honors has some kind of acting bug and if the F-word wasn’t edited out so often the bits might even be somewhat funny although it seems some of the skits tread toward what might be gay bashing.

If this had taken place on my ship 30 years ago, I might have found the videos funny. That is provided Honors or someone as theatric as him produced the skits. My ship’s XO didn’t have much of a humorous streak. I say I might have found them funny because the humor is something that might appeal to a sailor on deployment  in his early or mid 20s. The humor is not very sophisticated and rather bathroom in nature.

One aspect of the video leaves me somewhat bothered although it might just be a concern from this visual era in which we live. A good many sailors and even commissioned officers are seen on the film using the F-word even though it is beeped out. I know this sounds prudish and perhaps even unusual coming from me but I can’t help but wonder if these sailors ever gave any thought to the fact their mothers might some day see these videos.

It is sad but true that shipboard life, at least when I served on a Navy ship and apparently still, provides an atmosphere in which sailors have the propensity to use the word “f**k” as every part of speech. I picked up the habit of that language usage to the point I just found it naturally flowing out of my mouth once I had again become a civilian. And imagine standing in my mother’s kitchen telling her some tale from my Navy days and out comes the F-word just as free and easy as it pleases.

I didn’t stop or hesitate after realizing the big faux pais of using “that word” in talking to Momma. I just went along like it never happened. She never mentioned the incident to me. And as far as I know I began moderating my F-bomb usage ever since.

Thus the moral of the story if you decide to commit something to video which might end up being widely watched some day, perhaps you should give the contents a test to see if what you are saying or doing was something that would pass in polite company.

Whether politically incorrect or not, one would think one of the Navy’s officers just below the rank of admiral would give such actions a test. If a naval officer has such faulty thought processes, perhaps that officer should not command one of  less than  a dozen of the nation’s largest warships.