Watch for those fiery tornadoes

This story in NatGeo online oddly attracted me. The viral You Tube video is what the story is about, the subject being a “fire tornado.”

These fiery whirling dervishes of nature are more akin to dust devils than to real tornadoes which can cause nine kinds of hell in practically every part of the United States. This partial explanation from Wikipedia comes pretty close to explaining these whirlwinds:

 “Dust devils form when hot air near the surface rises quickly through a small pocket of cooler, low- pressure air above it. If conditions are just right, the air may begin to rotate. As the air rapidly rises, the column of hot air is stretched vertically, thereby moving mass closer to the axis of rotation, which causes intensification of the spinning effect … “

Most dust devils that form here in Southeast Texas are generally small in size. The same applies, though not always, for tornadoes. I would guess that the size has to do with the humid air we normally have here on the coast. I did see some larger whirlwinds when I have visited Colorado, where this fire tornado takes place. I have never seen a fire tornado although I have seen and been through a few tornadoes. I have seen firestorms as well. Or rather, I have seen at least one firestorm. This is a phenomenon which takes place when a fire is so large that it sustains its own wind system. This can occur naturally, as in a large wildfire, or in other instances such as happened most notably in the massive fire bombing of Dresden, Germany, in World War II.

The fire storm I witnessed happened during a fire that destroyed a plywood mill. It was what you would call a “massive” blaze. I could see the currents inside the heat and fire that drifted across the street and caught a wood yard on fire. A few hours later I went home, about 10 miles in the country from the fire. I found ashes up to a foot long and nearly as wide in the cow pasture. Had it not been spring and the area fair with rain, half the countryside could have been burned.

Nature can play all kinds of tricks with you and your surroundings. When that happens. You need to be elsewhere.

Pentagon is made fun of and likes it. Then bombs satirists.

This might come as a shock to you, but the endless battles fought by the United States military is taking such a toll on its soldiers that its officer corps no longer seeks inspiring its minions.

 “You’ll notice my wife and daughters aren’t here sitting in the audience today,” said Capt. Vince Miller, speaking to his Army company in a change of command ceremony. “That’s because Sheila left me six months ago when I had to skip our 10th anniversary trip to Jamaica so I could come in on a Sunday for unit PT, since one of you dipshits decided to go out and get his third DUI.”

Even suicide, a scourge some see as near epidemic proportions in today’s Army, received no euphemisms from the outgoing company commander.

  “Do any of you morons have any clue how much paperwork it causes when you blow your sad little heads off? At least have the courtesy to go AWOL first,” Captain Miller said. “But for fuck’s sake don’t come back for at least 30 days so I can drop you off my books and let someone else deal with the meatsack of failure that is your existence.”

Such frankness sent shock-waves through today’s Pentagon. That is, until the higher-ups figured out that “articles” such as this one, titled “Outgoing Company Commander: “I Hate You,” is satire. Yes, say hello to “Duffel Blog.”

Once the Pentagon discovered the blog was satire, the uptight dime-a-dozen lieutenant colonels let loose guffaws in probably one of the most nervy spots on Earth. The website which skewers the military and its civilian leadership with headlines such as Obama On Military Cuts: If You Like Your Job, You Can Keep It,” has found its fans even in the Pentagon leadership.

 “Duffel Blog is a beautifully crafted response to an increasingly stuffy environment in today’s America,” retired Gen. James Mattis, a former head of U.S. Central Command who has been parodied in several items,” The Washington Post reported.

Like its civilian-counterpart The Onion, the Duffel Blog has had its articles mistaken for the truth. This, in turn, sometimes confuses those who cannot tell truth from lie. For instance, a blog called Mr. Conservative, rang the wing-nut alarm bells upon discovering headlines from a recent Duffel Blog exclaiming: “Obama Admin. Hands Out Pamphlet: “What To Do When The Veteran In Your Classroom Attempts A Mass Shooting.” That someone could confuse this with the truth makes one worry for their fellow mankind.

Perhaps those unfamiliar with the military culture and structure will not “get” this military satire. But fortunately enough for me, that is not my problem.

 

 

Memorial Day U.S.A.: Another day in the home of the brave and the free and the …

There was no work today and so I managed to sleep until almost 10 a.m. It is amazing that I can sleep better in the morning than most anytime. I first woke just before 9 and said, “No, I need to sleep until at least 10.”

I began thinking about a bear. Maybe it has to do with that Discovery Channel series “North America.” It is a very cool show if you haven’t seen it. I believe they said it took three years to shoot. There is just fantastic footage of all kinds of creature in myriad situations in their everyday life. Things like trying to seduce a spideress. You lose you die. That’s kind of opposite the situation sometimes with women. You win, you die. Ba-rump! Sorry all of my former girlfriends who read this. Which probably total to “0,” If there are some, I am sure I will hear from her or them, or perhaps I will hear her racking a slide.

Last night I saw this report on this “green machine,” an actual vending machine that will buy your old cell phone and pay you cold cash. Well, I can’t guarantee the temperature. So I decided to take my lone ex-girlfriend cell phone to the Eco-ATM at Parkdale Mall. I didn’t know what to expect after seeing a report similar to this one on TV.

It seemed as if the people who were trying to sell their phone in the kiosk were having trouble, as did the next folks. Those next folks just jumped right on up, in front of me in line. The first group who was on the kiosk acknowledged that those other people jumped in line in front of me. I didn’t say anything until this little smart-ass girl was too busy talking on the phone and to her friend, while operating the nosy kiosk to get her job done. It was too much for her and when I asked her if she was finished after talking on her other cell phone she acts all innocent.

“He mad,” said the probable teen to her friend.  Sorry about the quote and any racial overtones it might bring, but that was the way she talked.

I told her that, “No, I’m not mad. In fact, I feel rather sorry for you with your self-esteem issues.”

“Say what?” with her breaking into laughter with her enriched friend.

Yes, I can be cruel sometimes. I will admit to that. She tells herself she didn’t break in line. Plus I told her what type of emotional issue that was bothering her. But, she was/is a total nitwit.

Finally, she got through and took back from the machine, the iPhone4 she was going to sell because the machine only offered her $99. I chuckled. Karma’s a bitch, I wanted to say to her. Glad the little witch didn’t slap me.

I didn’t get lucky with the Eco-scammer either. My phone was turned down because it didn’t have “no,” as the previous customer would say “power.”

Oh well.

Then as I came home, I turned at the underpass over I-10. The lanes go like this: One goes “U-ie,” under the underpass. The inside lane goes left under. The outside lane goes either left or straight. I always take the left-straight because I have to turn at the first right, just past the convenience store. But since I had the accident in the G-car in which I was at a similar intersection — a 90-year-old lady turned left from the outside lane into the left and hit my car which was going straight — I always give a little leeway and time before turning. The reason is because sometimes a driver, whose head might be too deeply inserted up his or her ass, might just decide to go straight from the inside lane instead the outside lane.

The latter happened today. Fortunately. I waited and only turned a little bit. The car on the inside lane decided to go straight. Thus, I “laid” quite harshly onto my horn. I hadn’t used my horn much lately. I was glad to see it worked. Afterwards, the nitwit in the other car laid down on his or her horn while speeding away for the Interstate. What a f**king stupid a**hole!

But I also reflected upon the meaning of this Memorial Day. All of those who lost their lives upon the field of battle or even training or other types of accidents have kept this country safe so the majority of our great nation can thrive. And all the jerk-offs that I experienced today? Well, I suppose some gave their all so we can have those ignorant asses who make the rest of us feel as if we have some sense.

Rest in peace all of those who died in our nation’s service.

 

 

Memorial Day. Celebrate, but find the cost of freedom

Have fun this Memorial Day Weekend. Just remember what Memorial Day is all about.

The Battle for  Iwo Jima lasted 36 days and resulted in 25,851 US casualties. Of these, 6,825 Americans were killed. Practically all of the 22,000 Japanese combatants died.

Hundreds of Marine and corpsman dog tags hang from the Marine Corps Monument on top of Mount Suribachi, a volcano at Iwo Jima.  Hundreds of Marine and corpsman dog tags hang from the Marine Corps Monument on top of Mount Suribachi, a volcano at Iwo Jima.  U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer Third Class Joshua Millage
Hundreds of Marine and corpsman dog tags hang from the Marine Corps Monument on top of Mount Suribachi, a volcano at Iwo Jima.
U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer Third Class Joshua Millage

This nation has a history colored in blood, from the Revolutionary War to the Present. As of 9 a.m., this May 24, 2013:

OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM

U.S. Military Casualties  —  4,409

U.S. Civilian Casualties  —       13

KIA

U.S. Military   —   3,480

U.S. Civilians  —          9

NON-HOSTILE

U.S. Military  —   929

U.S. Civilian  —     10

WOUNDED IN ACTION

U.S. Military  —   31,927

OPERATION NEW DAWN

U.S. Military   —   66

KIA   —   38

Non-Hostile   —   28

Wounded in Action   —   295

OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM

Total U.S. Military Casualties (Afghanistan)

Deaths   —   2,093

KIA   —   1,734

Non-Hostile   —   355

Pending   —   4

Wounded in Action   —   18,584

U.S. Military Casualties (Other locations )

Total Deaths   —   124

KIA   —  11

Non-Hostile   —   113

OEF U.S. Civilian Casualties

Total Deaths   —   3

KIA   —   1

Non-Hostile   —   2

OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM includes casualties that occurred between March 19, 2003, and August 31, 2010, in the Arabian Sea, Bahrain, Gulf of Aden, Gulf of Oman, Iraq, Kuwait, Oman, Persian Gulf, Qatar, Red Sea, Saudi Arabia, and United Arab Emirates. Prior to March 19, 2003, casualties in these countries were considered OEF. Personnel injured in OIF who die after 1 September 2010 will be included in OIF statistics.

OPERATION NEW DAWN includes casualties that occurred between September 1, 2010, and December 31, 2011, in the Arabian Sea, Bahrain, Gulf of Aden, Gulf of Oman, Iraq, Kuwait, Oman, Persian Gulf, Qatar, Red Sea, Saudi Arabia, and United Arab Emirates. Personnel injured in OND who die after 31 December 2011 will be included in OND statistics. (Post Iraq War casualties.)

OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM (Afghanistan & Other Locations), includes casualties that occurred in Guantanamo Bay (Cuba), Djibouti, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Jordan, Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Philippines,Seychelles, Sudan, Tajikistan, Turkey, Uzbekistan, and Yemen.

(Statistical information from Department of Defense)

Read closely, my friends. And for those of you who can, remember those lyrics to that chilling anti-war song of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young:

“Find the cost of freedom, lying in the ground. Mother Earth will swallow you, lay your body down … ”

Happy Memorial Day.

Larry the Cable Guy redelivers me to the world of “Cracker Soul”

It’s one fine day. No work. I got up. I ate. I went to Jason’s Deli. I had the Club Lite. I don’t like the new bread. It’s kind of rough around the ages. I shopped at Kroger. I said: “Hello. How are you?” to the meat lady. And did the same to the lady who seems to keep the right-wall area with the bread and organics in great working order. This young guy comes up to me on the aisle with the skin lotions. He works there. He said: “Smell this. It’s vanilla. I bet I could get all the women with that.” It was surreal. You had to be there. I came back to the crib. I went for a walk. I have been thinking about writing a book forever. I have got a rough theme. It would be, like Kris says, “partly fact and partly fiction.” It would be, in all likelihood, controversial. I’ll give you a hint. Flying bird dogs. Does that make you crave for it? No? Well, that’s why I’ve got to think more about this thing. The walk was nice. I came back and sat down to this Internet on this one fine day.

I surfed into Cracker’s Web site. It was on purpose. This was because I watched late last night the History Channel show “Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy.” Larry is a guilty pleasure. I shouldn’t like him. But he has just that right amount of crassness combined with weirdness. You might even learn something.

Larry was at a Florida ranch where he extracted bull semen. He helped drive cattle across a marsh and into a barge and onto an island ranch. All of this was in Florida. The ranch foreman or owner said the origin of the term “cracker” came from Georgia folks who migrated to Florida. They came with their whips to help herd cows. The whips made the cracking sound. Hence came “cracker.” It’s sometime used as a derogatory word black people use for whites. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that, Gump. I’m not sure if my description of the rancher’s explanation was exactly as he said it, but it’s close enough. Because this was not the Cracker site to which I clicked.

I started listening to Cracker in the 90s. I continue to believe they were one of that decade’s best rock bands. Cracker, which has a dual life with the band Camper Van Beethoven, combines rock, some California country and whatever else it is they do. I haven’t listened to nor have I heard any Cracker songs from beyond the turn of the century. “Turn of the century” makes them sound old, doesn’t it? The band remains. That is it. It’s not bad that they just remain. It’s a good remain. In fact, it’s fantastic.

Cracker continues to produce, perhaps, what would result from Led Zeppelin meets the Eagles. I don’t know if that is accurate, but I mean it as a compliment. I guess they are too explicit for radio, although a couple of their hits are played on Classic Rock stations.

A number of great videos, some dating back to the 90s, can be found on the Cracker site. Perhaps the most interesting is “Yalla, Yalla.” Cracker driving force David Lowery explains the name comes from Arabic, kind of an expression like the Spanish “vamanos”  when used as a command. It is a speed-demon rocker of a song that, according to Lowery, doesn’t take any sides in the Iraq War. Lowery later explains that he was against the Iraq War because the war in Afghanistan was what deserved our nation’s attention. As I felt and feel, the U.S. needed to get out of Iraq leaving it in a stable state. This piece is not for arguing. Enough of arguing, already. I must also warn that “Yalla, Yalla” has some very suggestive scenes of military personnel whose videos came from You Tube. Please read Lowery’s explanation before watching.

 

There are more than two kick-ass videos on the Cracker site. Here is number two. It’s a dynamite Cracker-style country-like tune called Friends with Patterson Hood. Dysfunctional friendships such as is described are probably more common than anyone will imagine. Some of my friendships have been dysfunctional, I make no admission nor charge as who’s to blame. By the way, Patterson Hood is guitarist and vocalist for the Southern Rock band Drive-by Truckers, I had to look that up. You’re welcome. Oh. Okay the song is ‘Friends’ and it’s played with Patterson Hood. He’s the guy with the beard and glasses. I’m so confused.

If you enjoy these two songs. More rest upon the Cracker video site. Happy Friday. Oh, and “One Fine Day” is a bluesy, somewhat spiritual tune. I’ve had one fine day today. But it hasn’t exactly been like “One Fine Day.” So remember, spring forward this weekend.