Category: Sports

An odd-but-colorful flyer hung from the driver’s window on my work car, catching my eye, yesterday. On occasion an area strip club, or perhaps “fabric-free entertainment” to be more politically correct, is found on car windows in our parking lot. However, this was a bit too odd for me, especially after only one cup of coffee.

The ad said: “Hulk Hogan’s Live Midget Wrestling.” Think about that for a minute. The event is scheduled for Friday at Jaguars, a site on Fannett Road here in Beaumont which during better days (my better days specifically speaking) was known as “Lady Long Legs.” LLL was a country-western joint that came around during the “Urban Cowboy” days of the late 70s and early 80s. It was a place I visited when I came to town, a good place to find some young cowgirls, who I must admit looked pretty good in their tight jeans and whatever else it was they were wearing.

Today, Jaguars is one a number of Fabric Free places owned by the publicly traded RCI Holdings, parent company of Rick’s Cabaret. And it must be a place that does some good bidness, as they say here in Texas, especially considering some kind of weirdness as the “Hulkster” is bringing for $20 pre-sale and $25 at the door. The event starts at 11 p.m., by which time I hope to be knocking out the Zzzzzzzs.

Now, I probably heard at one time or the other of such a fine “sport” as midget wrestling. The term brings to mind those times when I once was going strong around closing time after a night full of longneck bottles of beer with a few shots of “tee-kill-ya” in between. Otherwise I don’t think I ever heard of midget wrestling. I do remember hearing of midget tossing, which consisted of tossing a little person wearing little Velco suits up against a Velcro wall. For more reasons than one, it is a targeted activity of dwarf advocacy groups. More on midget v. dwarf shortly.

The activity scheduled in our fair town this Friday is an event of the MCW which stands for “Micro Championship Wrestling,” an organization former World Wrestling Entertainment’s Hogan promotes.

An advocacy group called Little People of America does not care  for midget wrestling. The group doesn’t even like the word “midget.” Midget is the “M-word” to the African American’s “N-word.” The organization explains:

“In some circles, a midget is the term used for a proportionate dwarf. However, the term has fallen into disfavor and is considered offensive by most people of short stature. The term dates back to 1865, the height of the “freak show” era, and was generally applied only to short-statured persons who were displayed for public amusement, which is why it is considered so unacceptable today.

 “Such terms as dwarf, little person, LP, and person of short stature are all acceptable, but most people would rather be referred to by their name than by a label.”

Some folks get right upset when they are faced with what they consider political correctness. Most of the same crowd are unaware of the hurt a name, even one as common as a dwarf or “retard,” can cause.

I never really though about some of the terms used being slurs to some while not to others. I would say I probably grew up hearing somewhat more the word “midget” to “dwarf.” Although, thanks to Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” dwarf is hardly an alien word. And in certain contexts, both words seem ill-fitting. How would “Snow White and the Seven Midgets” sound? Or how about a “dwarf submarine?”

Apparently, the men and women who — I suppose — travel around with Hulk Hogan to do some midget wrestling are not all that put off by the M-word. But could you just imagine how offensive the concept of “retarded wrestling” would sound?

There are plenty of reasons why I don’t plan to attend the match of the “vertically challenged” — I wonder why that term isn’t used? The time is too late. I feel kind of creepy, a 59-year-old guy going to a strip club. I didn’t when I was younger though. Twenty-five dollars or even $20 is way too much for me to pay to watch something stupid. I can watch the Fox News for free.

And I suppose it is exploitative watching an event that is primarily based on the person’s genetic markers that make him or her a certain size. Although, one sees this genetic reality in other sports, such as those who are college and NBA hoops stars.

It is an odd world in which we live. Thankfully, we don’t always have to pay to see its oddities. We also, less and less, think what was once odd is not so much these days.

Tonight one of the most interesting high school football games in the country will be played literally down the road — about two miles — from me. Unfortunately, it will not be interesting in a positive way.

You see, one of the top teams in its class in Texas will play arguably one of the worst, in a playoff match. The team that makes it, sadly, interesting is 0-10. That’s right. It has a 0-10 record this season and makes the playoffs. That is because there are only four teams in its district and the school’s classification allows for four playoff spots per district. And it just gets worse. The Spartans of Houston Scarborough High School also have an unenviable 57-game losing streak.

The Goliath to the Spartans’ David is West Orange-Stark. It is a “football powerhouse” — to put it in trite sports-speak — for its division. This is despite the Mustangs have twice been beaten in non-district games.

The WO-S losses came from a school in a larger division and another from a smaller division, the latter is my high school alma mater as a matter of fact. Both teams are ranked in their respective Top 10 in the same year-end poll.

That the Spartans are playing West Orange-Stark at the neutral site just two miles away from me has nothing to do with the hubbub that has landed Scarborough in nationwide media outlets this week. That the Spartans are meeting the Mustangs or any team at all, “that’s the ticket,” as long ago Saturday Night Live  Jon Lovitz character Tommy Flanagan “the Pathological Liar,” would say.

Such a scenario as that for the Spartans stirs up the hard-core fans who listen to sports talk radio and who despise that whole “Every kid gets a trophy” mindset. What really is behind the changes that added playoff spots at the same time divisions based upon school enrollment were reconfigured? One stated reason by the University Interscholastic League — the University of Texas System-run entity which governs public school athletic and academic competition — is the addition of divisions and added playoff spots will create a “perfect storm” of football that will let all championships take place on the same weekend. Well, kind of. The two Division 1A, or six-man football team championships, will happen the weekend before.

All 12, yes 12, playoff games will occur at the Jerry Jones palace to football, a.k.a. AT&T Stadium in Arlington.

 “Having all football championship games in one location truly makes for an amazing experience for the coaches, athletes and fans, and last year it lead to a Texas high school football attendance record,” said UIL Executive Director Dr. Charles Breithaupt, in a press release. “We are excited to return to AT&T Stadium and continue to improve on a world class event in the state of Texas.”

And I am sure that all the games on the Dallas Cowboys’ turf will make for one big Jerry-load of money to be spread around — likely from the UIL, the schools, TV, and not to mention Jerry Jones.

Some coaches argue that allowing more teams a playoff spot can be good for the team and the fans, that the kids can actually get better by competing in a playoff game. Maybe so.

Or, it could mean that teams such as Scarborough will add needlessly to its long string of defeats and be blown out of the water by ridiculous scoring margins.

I have kind of mixed feelings over the “every kid gets a trophy.” I won’t elaborate due to the complexity of my sentiments. But I think, regardless of the outcome of WO-S versus Scarborough tonight just down the street, the pitfalls can be many with four playoff spots in a district that ranges from four to seven or so. The quality of the game can change where lopsided scores are the norm and the confidence of young players sink instead of rises.

Lots of luck to the Mustangs and Spartans tonight. The wind chill right now is 37 F, pretty cold for late fall here in Southeast Texas. Dress warm!