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The Barbecue State. It’s not just Central Texas.

Okay. I don’t have much time. That’s because I am hungry and I have a wonderful chicken plate from Broussards Link and Ribs in the fridge. It’s ready for me to eat and my stomach says: “Ya better do it quick, Mr. Smarty Pants EFD.”

Well! I never thought I was a smarty pants. As a matter of fact, I only wear pants when I work for the gub’ment. Well, that doesn’t mean I run around without anything covering my lower torso like Porky Pig. I wish I could. Seriously. But I can’t.

Texas barbecue has been handed this stereotype. It is all beef. And it is not very good unless it comes from within a 100-mile radius of Austin. Hooey.

I did my time in Central Texas. There are some particularly great BBQ joints. Waco had several that were good both in atmosphere and meat: Uncle Dan’s, Michna’s, Mamma & Pappa B’s, Jasper’s. In Llano, Cooper’s has wonderful eats from beef to cabrito. And yes there are the shrines to barbecue in places such as Taylor and yes, Austin. But Texas is a big state. It’s got different styles of barbecue all over. Best ribs ever for my money can be found at the Country Tavern, between Tyler and Kilgore.

We have our own style of barbecue in Southeast Texas. It’s hard to describe. Just shut up and eat! Broussards in their little green shack off 11th and Washington in Beaumont is a great place for all sorts of barbecue meat. Just go at a time when there aren’t lines waiting. They also have a place off Fondren and Sam Houston Tollway in Houston. Just down Washington from Broussards is another barbecue institution. Patillo’s has long been a favorite of mine. They had a place on 11th and McFaddin that I probably visited more often than my weight required when I lived near there in Old Town. But they paved paradise at put up something there, a Jack in the Box, or whatever. And then there was one. Greatest links imaginable at Patillo’s.

I could go on. There is good ‘que everywhere in Texas. You just have to know where to look.

 

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News from the Department of Public Irony–Texas Division

The Texas Department are on the hunt for those who violate school bus safety laws. Troopers are “urging drivers to obey state law by not passing any school bus that is stopped and operating a visual signal – either flashing red lights or a stop sign. In addition, Texas Highway Patrol troopers will be enhancing their efforts to catch those drivers who break the law,” according to a DPS Press Release.

 “The moment when students are entering or exiting the bus is one of the most dangerous times of a student’s trip; and drivers who pass a stopped school bus create a potentially deadly situation,” said DPS Director Steven McCraw.

Director McCraw couldn’t be more right, except the dangers to students aren’t just drivers who pass stopped buses with its warning lights flashing.

A Southeast Texas school bus driver was arrested by DPS troopers after she wrecked a bus in which the children had fortunately departed, according to KJAS radio in Jasper, Texas.

The 47-year-old driver was taken to a local hospital where a blood sample was taken. The radio station, quoting a DPS official, said troopers were suspicious that Kirbyville school district employee Angel Shepherd Tharp was drunk on alcoholic beverages and perhaps intoxicated on other substances. She allegedly drove her bus into a ditch after dropping off the kids on her route. Tharp was charged with DUI and released in lieu of $1,000 bond, the radio station said.

A statement released by Richard Hazlewood, Kirbyville school district superintendent and described on his school Web profile as ” … a virtual superman of organization, inspiring all those who work with him,” said the school bus driver had been ” … relieved of her duties.” Does that mean she was fired? Placed on leave with pay? Suspended without pay? Well, perhaps the superintendent can organize his thoughts when he gives his school board a report on the incident. And hopefully, they will leave the kryptonite at home.

Kirbyville is about 110 miles northeast of Houston.

 

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Here’s hoping the Texans’ 49ers ‘stinker’ proves a one-night stand

The alarms sounded Sunday night as I watched the brutal beating San Francisco put on the Houston Texans. The alarm was in my head and it said: “Stinker Attack, Stinker Attack, Don your gas masks immediately!”

A bit of hyperbole perhaps, but only the alarm and the warning dialog. The truth is the Texans played a true stinker in the televised prime-time game. As was the case in most of the games the 2-3 Houston team played this season, they were “Pogoed.”  I say that, remembering the thoughtful and philosophical little cartoon ‘possum, Pogo, who was perhaps best known for his memorable political quote: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

The enemy wasn’t all Quarterback Matt Schaub. Although, his setting a record throwing “pick sixes” in four consecutive games certainly is far from the prestige of a Pro Bowl selection. The fact is the Texans have looked like a crap boat in most of the games this year, including the ones they won.

First, it was the Oilers Texans coming back from the dead to win in games prior to their Baltimore loss, and then blowing a 23-0 lead in overtime with Seattle. And is it just me, or do the Texans appear as if they are reverting back to old habits, like their falling apart at the red zone? The Texans just haven’t seemed to click this year. No one could reasonably expect a repeat of the spectacular season defensive end J.J. Watt had last year, especially his taking up some of the slack for linebacker Brian Cushing, who was out with an injury. But with both Watt and Cushing reunited, well, it just doesn’t feel so good.

In the backfield alternating runners Arian Foster and Ben Tate haven’t really had that shine they seem to have had in past seasons, then again it might just be me trying to find a reason to not believe.

Schaub, though, he looks, as someone said yesterday, as if he had seen ghosts.

I have taken up for Schaub, for what pissing difference that makes. And his little coach too! Well, Gary Kubiak isn’t little but I was taking a little “Wizard of Oz” license there. I expect Schaub will remain starter unless he just disintegrates on field. I think backup QB T.J. Yates did an amazing job in the season before last, when he had to come in for a battered Schaub. But I think some people operate better during noble urgency as compared with simple desperation.

Maybe Sunday night’s whipping by the 49ers will provide a little shock therapy for Kubiak, Schaub and the rest of the Texans. I sure hope so. Because if they don’t I will not only have a crappy fall being furloughed from my job, but I will likewise have to suffer with yet another dismal excuse for a favorite NFL team.

 

 

 

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Sitting here, waiting for the fiscal shoe to drop

My friend Marcie sent me a text message earlier that unfortunately is more enthusiasm than accuracy at the moment.

“Looks like no govt shutdown. Good news for you! We’ll see … ”

That’s okay, Marcie, it’s the thought that counts. For the moment at least.

The latest in the war between the Democrats vs. the GOP vs. Tea Party is a Senate spending bill that restored funding for Obamacare as well as to keep the government running. It’s been sent to the House where it either be accepted or sent where old bills go to die.

Our only words of encouragement are in the form of our regular teleconference agenda that came by email this afternoon, which says nothing shutdown-related. Of course, us part-timers were already given a short phone call  from our supervisors late yesterday afternoon telling us we would be told something Monday as to any possible furloughs. The procedure is roughly the same as we had during the last time the Republicans threatened to shut us down. As far as I know, unless there has been any last minute change, we still will be considered non-essential personnel.

I suppose I look at the possibility of going unpaid for however long. If it is a day or maybe two, then I might be okay. Anymore than that and I might have to try a Web-driven telethon.

But I shall not dwell on these things. I just hope the media will have the good sense to stop making a hero out of Texas GOP Sen. Ted Cruz, who now is the most toxic Texan in the Senate. Yes, he’s different. Different in the a**hole way.

Have a great weekend and, in the words of the late, great Bob Marley: “Don’t worry. About a thing. Cause every little thing going to be all right … ”

I sure hope so, Bob.

 

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Apple, 2nd to ruin my day, 1st in a pretty phone screen

A neat little ol’ tech blog out of Austin had a very helpful article dated Monday. It was a very informative piece on Apple’s iOS 7 upgrade. And it is one that I wished like hell I had read prior to about 11 a.m. today.

It seems as if I was the last person on planet Earth who discovered Apple blew up the operating system I was using on my iPhone 4. I think it’s 4. It could be “99 And A Half” for all I know. I saw on my iPhone that I needed to do an update on my OS, so I was walking back to my office, ticked off about an encounter I had on the phone earlier with a “client.” I still am, ticked off, that is. Short story, the update took forever. I had to get back to my office where I had plenty of phones to use while mine was being “updated.”

The home screen looked different, way different. I had to sign in with my Apple ID and develop a code to get me inside my telephone. Now when it rings I have to, I don’t know what you call it, rub my screen like a genie and make the “phone” appear. Christ on codeine syrup!

Later this afternoon, I got to playing around with the “voice memo” app. It recorded okay, and I erased the messages I had made. But I get a goofy screen now with a buttons and some lines for writing. You push the button and nothing happens. You rub the bottom of the screen and your “control panel” appears. Oh great. Plus, it leaves a red banner across the iPhone screen to remind me I am recording, even though I am not.

I talked with a Verizon techno-gal who was about as helpful as Edward Scissorhand in a bouncy house full of 4-year-olds.

So, I decided to look on my own and found this great techie page from Austin. Home of the Armadillo — waaaay back when. And damned if I didn’t find out too late. Like right now and for supper.