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Does no mean no for Rick Perry as a 2012 GOP prez candidate?

When it comes to presidential politics, “no” often means “yes,” and even more succinctly, “book” means “yes.”

Fresh from an unprecedented re-election to a fourth term as Texas governor comes Rick Perry, slayer of coyotes, threatening to wrest Texas from the jaws of the rest of the union and now author of a new book called “Fed Up.” If you expected me to link to his new book, sorry, you don’t know me at all.

Quick, a little word association — or in Perry’s case, disassociation:

  • Political figure writing books — running for president.
  • Political figure on TV book tour saying he is not running for president — running  for president.
  • Political figure on TV book tour saying he is not running for president on Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show” — running for president.

There you have it folks. Gov. Good Hair doth protest a bit too much when declaring  he will not run for president as darling or Mr. Congeniality of the Tea Party. Would Sarah Palin settle for Veep again? Only if she didn’t get the nomination herself. The Tea Party seems way too traditional to even let a woman run for political office when she would best serve someone at home barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. But I guess they make exceptions for things such as that, or for bad qualities such as lying. (Saying you are not running for president when you

Dumb and Dumber: Which is which?

have every intention to do so. A white lie for a good ol’ white boy.)

Like his predecessor, Gee Dubya By God Bush, Good Hair is a master at multi-tasking so hedging his bets by staying employed by the State of Texas as its governor no es un problema. Perry can keep his cushy little job as governor of Ol No. 2. I say that meaning Texas is number 2 in population and area. As well as Gross State Product (GSP.) I suppose Perry would qualify for that too.

There is nothing better I like than spending tax money on a politician running for office, but only if I like him, her or it. The GSP, well, not so much.

Now that Bush and Perry have dueling books, the world gets treated to lame TV interviews of the two people whom I least would want to have seen as a representative of this the greatest, even at No. 2 because like Avis we try harder, state in the Onion. Perry’s book said Bush spent too much as president. I haven’t read either one but I suppose Bush will say something about Perry like “his feet stunk.” Boys will be boys!

I really can’t see Perry being elected as president because I don’t think that — even though they did elect George W. Bush — there are quite enough brain dead American voters to pull it off. Of course, it always helps to have a Supreme Court in your pocket.

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Long early voting lines here in SE Texas

Never, ever did I think I would see a day when I had to stand in a substantial line to vote early here in Jefferson County, Texas.

That would be the case though as I stood in a line of about 30 people this afternoon, a nice Friday afternoon that was more than a full week before the end of early voting. The voting itself didn’t take long despite my weariness from standing about 20 minutes on my messed-up knee. It doesn’t take long to vote a straight ticket.

The early voting turnout is a little bit amazing to me. There are no local races that have people’s knickers in a knot. A couple of justice of the peace races, a couple of county offices. So the crowd is really about the governor’s race. I don’t know who else is on the ballot besides Democratic challenger Bill White and Gov. Doofus Goodhair Perry.

All I know is a fair number of folks are showing up in my neck o’ the woods. As of the end of voting Thursday some 12,300 voters had cast early voting ballots at the 10 polling places and by mail, according to figures on County Clerk Carolyn Guidry’s Web site.

The busiest polling place by far has been Rogers Park Recreation Center, where I voted, on Beaumont’s West End. Almost 3,260 people had voted there by the end of Thursday.

How this plays for my favored candidate, Bill “The Bald Democrat” White, I couldn’t guess. This is a traditionally Yellow Dog Democrat area. But a fair amount of folks have caught that dreaded “Tea Party Fever.” Just an educated guess from someone six hours short of a Poly Sci degree but I think White will do well here in the county just as Obama did well. A lot hinges on the African-American turnout. Beaumont is a majority Black city. It would be hard to guess how the young vote will end up especially at Lamar University, it being traditionally more of a commuter-urban educational institution.

Even though my knee is giving me hell right now I was glad to see the unusually large turnout. Some of them may be pissed off and not favoring my candidates, but at least they aren’t in the streets rioting and fomenting a coup as the disaffected living in some other countries sometimes are wont to do. That’s something.

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Barton not the lone ranger. House group including E. Texas reps bemoan a "Chicago-style" shakedown

Oh this is rich.

I found this press release by a congressional caucus of right-wingers. Among them are Joe Barton, but also are most, if not all, of the Lone Star State’s GOP House members.

The Republican Study Committee called the fund agreed to by President Obama and BP chief Tony Hayward “a Chicago-style shakedown.” I have yet to see any apology from this caucus. Even more rich, I’ve not seen any apologies from our own East Texas congressional members. Among these members are Rep. Ted Poe, whose district includes the Upper Texas Coast and part of the Houston metro area; Rep. Kevin Brady, who represents the heart of East Texas; and Rep. Louie Gohmert, the congressman for the northern portion of East Texas.

I haven’t heard anyone mention this yet, but it looks like Barton wasn’t the lone idiot in suggesting BP were victims of extortion by our government.

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Fall down, go boom

The title says it all. It looks as if the Big 12 Athletic Conference is about to fall down, go boom.

Funny how one school starts talking. The others start talking. Pretty soon you got a lot of chaos and an athletic conference ends like a pair of old, ragged underwear. Not a pretty sight! The Big 12 seems as if it is folding before our very eyes. Colorado has accepted an invitation to join the Pac-10, Nebraska could joint the Big 10. The Pac 10 would also like to have Texas, Texas A & M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State.

How old is the Big 12 anyway? Like 15 years old, or something? It came as a merging of some Big 8 and Southwest Conference schools. Some didn’t get to come along to the big party from the SWC like Rice, SMU, TCU, Arkansas. Hey, it couldn’t have been the Big 16 could it?

Of course some of these schools are matched sets because of rivalries. You can’t have Texas without Texas A & M and vice versa. Ditto for Okie and OSU. Or even Texas Tech and Texas A & M.

Then there is “poor” little Baylor at Jerusalem on the Brazos. With Ken Starr as its president. What would Ken Starr do? WWKSD? Impeach ’em. Impeach the whole mess of them, that’s what.

"It's time to bring in the 12th Man."

I say have an all Texas conference: Texas, Texas A & M, Texas Tech, Rice, Baylor, SMU, University of Houston, UT El Paso and maybe rotate two of the bigger but less well-known schools for a ninth and tenth every couple of years. University of North Texas one year. Texas State the next. Lamar, once it gets its revived team on its legs. Stephen F. Austin, I’m kind of biased there, of course. Maybe the two that does the best drawing revenue and, of course, plays well might just get tenure. Texas football is where it’s at!

But that is as likely to happen as Bear Bryant returning from the dead and herding all the young Aggie team out to Junction for practice.

Money is what it’s all about. Who gives the best deal with the most TV appearances, bowls, all that jive. Forgive me for being football-centric but that is all I really care all that much about when it comes to college sports. I know basketball is huge, Texas and Rice, big time in baseball and Baylor? Tort law and intelligent design?

This will either be really good for college, especially football, or really bad. I can’t see how it might turn out in between. But that’s me.