Eight Feet Deep

Okay, I give up. Sometimes you keep hearing these names until they start visiting you in your dreams. Thank goodness this hasn’t yet been the case for me. So that is why I finally decided to Google: the Kardashians.

I’ve heard of Kim Kardashian. I seem to remember hearing about a sex tape, that she was on some TV show (“Dancing With the Stars”) other than the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” and that she dated then broke up with then dated and broke up with Reggie Bush, the New Orleans Saints star, who won the Heisman Trophy and then had to give it up because of a “pay-for-play scandal” when he attended USC. Whew!

Now it seems Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Olympic decathalon winner, is part of the Kardashian klan having married Kris, the family matriarch.

Still, I don’t know what makes this whole family give America a big buzz. I mean Kim Kardashian, who is also a model, is kind of … hot. Well, maybe even more than one of the family is … hot. But come on. There are a lot of attractive people in the world and some of them are smart, some are as dumb as a box of rocks.

So back to where we were. I don’t get it. But, I have never watched their little TV show, starring the Kardashian family.

Oh well, at least I can nod my head in honesty when someone now asks “you know those Kardashian family people?” I could just as easily had lied.

Those who seek undertaking an act of kindness need not go farther than the local supermarket.

Twice this afternoon did I stop to perform a good deed for two different elderly women who were disabled. A two-fer, if you will. I did it first and foremost because I was asked to do so. At least, in the first instance I was asked to in some degree and in the latter I was more or less ordered.

A silver-haired lady in a motorized shopping cart accosted me in the bread section and asked if I would help her find a loaf of sourdough. I scanned the breads and finally landed one brand. Of course, this was not what the woman wanted. She already had this kind and wanted another kind. However, after looking some more, she accepted the loaf and thanked me.

Feeling all good about this encounter, I got in my pickup to drive off and I saw another sliver-haired damsel. This one was standing beside her car, its hood opened and jumper cables were dangling from her hand. This elder had a “disabled” tag on her mirror although she was not parked in the disabled area. And the lady was pointing toward her battery, indicating that’s where her battery was located, and indicative of the notion that I would pull up to jump her car.

Following the elder lady’s orders I helped get her car running — an elderly gentleman had come to where we were to give us benefit of his expertise — and left.

These two encounters got me thinking about karma. And when I say “karma” I mean it in a more simplistic American sense which is somewhere between that of the Buddha’s “I declare, O Bhikkus, that volition is Karma. Having willed one acts by body, speech and thought.” And the Biblical: “ … whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

Many Americans who are not familiar with Eastern religion tend to have the “TV version” of karma in mind. That would be a take that is not quite as thought out as in the irreverent comedy “My Name Is Earl.” It is more simplistic like the long ago song title by Southern rockers Wet Willie: “Everything That ‘Cha Do (Will Come Back to You.) Personally, I like the simple version just fine. The key word is “simple,” as in “KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid!)”

While I continue to see some spiritual value — still not totally figured out in my mind — in the Buddhist and Hindu concepts of karma, I also like the one-for-one concept. You do a good deed. A good deed is done for you. Inherent problems exist by the goatfuls with this concept, of course. First, I have no idea how many good deeds have been perpetrated on my behalf in the past. I, likewise, don’t really know how many benevolent episodes I have done in my lifetime other than the two this afternoon. And what about the cause and effect? If I wake up tomorrow and found out someone left me $10 million with no explanation why, what good deed was done that led to this good fortune? Or perhaps the moolah was left for me for no specific act of kindness.

See the problem?

It’s like someone told once way back in the 70s when we were doing something or the other: “Karma is a heavy thing, dude.”

Yes, heavy it is. If you like doing good things and/or you think they are the right things to do, perhaps you should just keep doing them and leave the counting to accountants. Counting Karma is just too darned complicated.

Most folks probably don’t think a lot about insect stings until it happens to them or someone else. I’m the same way. I steer clear of them and most the time we get along swimmingly. Sometimes we don’t.

My niece, Mel, alerted us last night via Facebook that she had visited the ER for an allergic reaction to some kind of sting. Only a short time before that I was struck by a hornet. I think it happened putting on a pair of shorts. It fell out of my shorts, anyway. I immediately smashed that stinging f**k in a kind of primeval reaction.  I suppose  it was more of a reaction from its attack on me than anything. It hurt, a bit. Mel said she knew of five other people who had been stung that day. Of course, this wasn’t all in one place, maybe at most a 60-mile radius.

If you take time to read this, I didn’t, you might find out why late summer is a prime time for being stung by stinging thingers. I think it has to do with the sex life of insects, which, I am just not into. You know, “He’s Just Not That Much Into Your Sex Life If You Are a Hornet.”

Mel has to carry an epi pen now in case of an allergic reaction. I kind of worry about allergic freak outs. I’ve never had one but I’ve had allergies, and I have had unknown allergies that made my upper lip swell, twice in fact. The first thing I did after getting stung, other than crushing that poor little hornet and loosing a couple of new expletives I’ve not heard, was to take a couple of Benadryl. I am not recommending it unless your doctor says it’s okay, but it’s a great antihistamine in case of a serious allergic reaction. And if you have such a reaction, call an ambulance ASAP no matter what.

I also did the ice thing. Ice for awhile. No ice for awhile. My upper thigh is still somewhat reddened, itching and the point of impact is still sitting there looking like mutated fire ant sting. Having a bit of the Type II diabetes. Oh, yeah, I forgot my little toe doesn’t look good at all, Anyway, just so you know, there are all kinds of stinging  critters out there and I have been stung, bit, chomped on and everything except hit upside the head with a .22 like I mentioned my friend Tere did to an alligator once.

Speaking of gators, many Southeast Texans are no doubt  rejoicing that the popular (locally at least) “Gator 9-1-1” will return to TV. It is based here in Beaumont, Texas, and features folks who own a local gator preserve and cafe (for the gators who don’t mind their Ps and Qs.) Seriously, from what I can see on the show and have read about Gator Country, those folks do a good job of catching nuisance gators — and there are a few around here. The Gator Country people also appear to do a great job educating the public on gators and their place in the World out there, even if they cook the gators, hey, sounds okay to me!

I don’t know how I got from hornets to gators but I did. I wish a happy weekend to all and to all, a good wasp-eating alligator!

The racism and xenophobia of the right is just getting a little hard for me to stomach. The Pew poll (here is the whole dang thing, read it, every word of it!) suggesting 1-in-5 Americans believe President Obama is Muslim makes me mad when I suppose it should just make me sad. It’s sad to know that people are willing to believe big lies enough if they are constantly bombarded by an adept public relations machine. Too bad the poll didn’t seek a direct correlation between those who think Obama is Muslim and from what source does information such as Obama’s alleged religion come? Can anyone say: “Fox News” or perhaps “Glenn Beck.” Holy hocakes folks! You are getting a scam run on you and you don’t realize it. Cut off that Fox News or Rush Limbacon for awhile and read a damn book. Listen to soothing music. You are getting brainwashed.

Anchor babies, that Muslim Obama born in Kenya who happens to be a socialist anti-Christ. These are just some of the totally ridiculous assertions made mainly by the political right in our country over the past couple of years.

The “anchor babies” I refer to are products of  the mind-bogglingly stupid charges made by some of the real out-there politicians including Texas state Rep. Debbie Riddle and U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert. Both are, not surprisingly, Republicans. Riddle was caught looking awhile back during an interview with Anderson Cooper, where Mr. Cool actually showed some cojones as an interviewer. The Texas House member had been spreading a story based on what she said was from conversation with FBI officials that pregnant women are being sent by terrorist organizations into the U.S. to have their babies. That way, when the children are older, they can be sent into the U.S. with no worry because they will be American citizens.

Cooper also nailed right-wing hack Gohmert, who had made a speech on the U.S. House floor about the anchor baby subject.

If this stupidity does nothing, perhaps it does furnish a context to the “Birther movement,” those who believe President Obama was born in Kenya despite his producing a birth certificate and a proof of a birth announcement in a Honolulu newspaper.

Such ridiculous rumors would have been laughed off or faded years ago. But these days because of 24/7 cable news, the Internet and a well-oiled right-wing propaganda machine, the rumor mill continues to run wild. Check out this story regarding a poll that 18 percent of Americans believe Obama is a Muslim.

There is no direct proof as of yet, but it seems much about which Americans get up in arms these days is fueled by that propaganda operation. The right has become the loudest among the media these days, thus they get their opinion blasted like a foghorn out as fact. It goes via talk radio, through Fox News and other News Corp. outlets such as the once respectable and conservative Wall Street Journal. Finally, cable news gets their ratings because they have found people screaming at each other is what their viewers presumably want. Why News Corp’s fatcat owner Rupert Murdoch doesn’t even have to hide his affiliations and feelings these days. For instance, how about a nice $1 million for the Republican Governor’s Assn.? Fair and balanced? We report, you decide? And if you believe that, I’ve got this nice, peaceful little mountain home high in the mountains of Afghanistan I’ll sale you, cheap.

It would be inaccurate and rude to call those who believe the anchor baby stories, that Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya, etc., sheep. Some are sheep who worship at the throne of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and the rest of the sordid right. Most, however, are just caught in the trap of hearing arguments tainted through filters that really don’t look at the facts involved but instead at emotion.

I still believe, somewhat, in Karma. I also firmly believe in gravity. What goes up must come down. Eventually, the lunatic right will finally nail themselves to the wall. Unfortunately, it might take a civil war or perhaps a world war led by an American fascist version of Adolf Hitler to precipitate their fall. Still, even something such as beating the Tea Partiers and other fellow travelers like a rented mule at the ballot box this November may finally demoralize this fringe. Then they can go back to wearing tin foil on their head and receiving signals from Alpha Centauri and beyond. It is where they belong.