¿Cómo se dice? Bank robber en Beaumont? o Huckabee?

 Goodness gracious. Another bank robber in our fair city. One bad effect a city located on one of the nation’s most traveled Interstates — I speak of IH-10 — faces is bank robbery. It’s relatively easy for a committed bank robber to drive off the interstate, rob a bank and then hit the freeway in one direction or another. Police will not say whether this is the same bank robber who robbed a Houston bank and apparently looked similar to this fellow, according to a local media report. I wonder what that Houston bank robber’s nickname might be? You know they all seem to get nicknames, like the Grandma Bandit.

 Our  — as in Beaumont, Texas’ — bandit entered the Wells Fargo Bank at 595 IH-10 North on Tuesday morning and robbed the place while “displaying” a silver handgun, according to a Beaumont Police Department press release. Police like to use words like “display.” It’s like “Hey ya’ll, isn’t this the prettiest 9 mm pistol you’ve ever seen? Now how ’bout that cash?”

 Bank employees triggered the silent alarm and officers were told the suspect was last seen running on foot toward an apartment complex behind the bank. Police and a “K-9 Unit,” a.k.a. “a DOG and handler,” searched for the bandit to no avail.

He could be displaying his weapon in this photo.
He could be displaying his weapon in this photo.

 Police describe the suspect as a Hispanic male, 5 feet, 10 inches to 6 feet in height, 180 pounds, dark complexion, wearing dark sunglasses, a blue button shirt and having short black hair. I’m sure he wears those sunglasses and blue shirt everywhere — to bed, playing basketball, working on his car. Okay, I’m picking at the descriptions the police give out. I’ve written a hundred of these for news stories when I worked as a reporter, but they sound kind of funny out of context. This one is actually a better description than some I have seen on local TV reports, such as “a black male, between 5′ 11″ and 6 feet, 175-190 pounds.” Hmm. I bet there aren’t too many of those running around.

 Now I thought I had a suspect when I saw the shot below taken from a bank camera. Even though the police description lists him as Hispanic and dark-complected, he isn”t all that dark, at least in my opinion. Now, if you forget that the man is supposedly Hispanic and dark-complected, in this picture at least, doesn’t he bear a slight resistance to former Arkansas Governor and failed candidate for the Republican nomination Mike Huckabee? 

"I'd appreciate your vote -- and your money."
"I'd appreciate your vote -- and your money."


I mean, look at him. Maybe Huckabee  with a tan?

Perhaps a bit younger Mike Huckabee with a tan.

Oh well. That’s my contribution to the community today. That is partly why I try to write about things like this because I have a forum to do so and, who knows, maybe someone surfing blogs stumbles across this one and just might recognize the robber I now dub the “Senor Mike Huckabee-almost-look-a-like-bandit-if-Huckabee-was-Hispanic.” That person calls the police and clang, he’s behind bars. You know, someone might see this guy taking a nap out in his chaise lounge wearing his sunglasses, blue buttoned shirt and displaying his handgun.

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