Month: October 2005

I live a very simple existence. I want a lot but I don’t need much. So I am asking fate to bring me just one little thing for my half-century birthday (sigh) two weeks from tomorrow. I would like to see the Astros win the World Series.

Granted, being given Donald Trump’s fortune, Brad Pitt’s looks and throwing in world peace might be an easier wish. Particularly so if the Astros continue to play as they did in last night’s disappointment against St. Louis.

But that is really all I am asking for. First they beat the Cardinals and then defeat whomever they might face in the Big One. I don’t even care how many games it takes. It would make a 50- (oh my God) year-old man happy.

Power company trucks and a steady stream of traffic ensures you can’t get to there from here.

The first few days upon returning to Beaumont, Texas, after evacuating for Hurricane Rita were like a perpetual Sunday to me. Next to nothing was open. Often times you would see more dogs on the street than people. And the curfew presumably kept the looting class off the street.

Now our city leaders didn’t jump up and down on top of City Hall and proclaim to the world that Beaumont is open for business once again. But people began trickling in. The curfew was lifted, as was the evacuation order. More businesses continue to open each day and we find ourselves enmeshed in a never-ending Saturday. It’s more like a Christmas shopping Saturday from hell.

It is hard enough to get around town with the utility crewfolks, all 9,000 of them it seems, on every third street with their big trucks. That’s not to mention the tractors and big trailers on every other street picking up limbs and logs from downed trees. So when you throw in a lot of people driving their pickups, SUVs and every other vehicle in this galaxy, you have a hell of a mess on your hands.

Of course, I’ve got no complaint about the utility or cleanup crews. I don’t really have a beef with those who have returned. The more people who come home, the more businesses will open and perhaps sometime in the near future we’ll see some sanity prevail in our local traffic situation.

But I’ve got to ask. What are all these people doing out on the streets and where are they all going? It would seem Wal-Mart and Home Depot would be a couple of destinations. Or so you would think, judging by the crowds packing those places like dead men’s ballots in a Louisiana election. Maybe these people are just wandering around like nomads. Perhaps the storm left their houses unfit for living but they have no other place to go, so they just drive and drive and drive.

Or maybe they have just lost their minds. That sort of makes the most sense to me because you really have to be crazy to be driving around in my city right now.

Houston vs. St. Louis
5th Inning
StL 5 Houston 0

The Astros’ offense is missing. If found, please return to Busch Stadium.

It’s not going so well for the Astros against the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cards lead 3-0 in the middle of the 3rd after the Astros squandered three on base with their best lumberjack, Lance Berkman. Sound the Despair Alarm? Why of course not. But if you can’t bear to watch, then play this drinking game:

When you hear “Andy Pettitte” have a shot.
When you hear “Chris Carpenter” have a shot and a beer.
When you hear “Bob Brenly” have a shot, a beer and another shot.
When you hear “A naked mime is running across the field and being pursued by the grounds crew!” Oooh. Time to sober up. Drink hot coffee, black.

Is it just me that gets total idiots on the line when I phone a call center for customer service? Sometimes I wonder if businesses send these call takers to the same school where a major portion of the curriculum is geared toward learning how to colossally piss off the customer.

Today I tried to call Bank of America to find out if my neighborhood ATM was up and running after having been down due to the hurricane. The person I talked to could not find my city and didn’t seem to have the faintest notion of about what I was asking.

ME: “It’s in Beaumont, Texas.”
CALL-TAKER: “Are you sure it is in that city?”
ME: “Yes, I live four blocks from there.”
CALL-TAKER: “Maybe I’m spelling it wrong.”
ME: (Increasingly irritated)”It’s B-E-A-U-M-O-N-T.”
CALL-TAKER: “Oh here it is. I’ll have to put you on hold while I call that bank.”

And hold I did, for about 8-10 minutes, before I hung up. I looked in the phone book and called the phone number for the bank myself but did not get an answer. While that was happening, I missed a call that was apparently from the call center. I called the call center back. The person on the other end, a supervisor no less, hadn’t a clue as to what I was talking about. I said “To hell with it,” hung up, and drove to the ATM. It was closed. I should have done that to begin with. But wonderful customer service is supposed to be one of my bank’s big draws.

If you work in a call center, I’m sorry. I’m sure you are very customer oriented and a real people person. I’ve just had many more negative experiences dealing with call centers than I’ve had positive ones. First you go through an extensive phone menu that appears designed to prevent at all costs human-to-human communication. Next you wait and wait and wait to talk to a live person. Then that person has to telephone Earth from whatever planet they are own to get an answer to your question. Oh, and you are put back on hold while awaiting your answer.

It seems like these types of experiences would create a lot of ill will for companies. Then again, I’m beginning to wonder if people in the business world or anyone at all gives a damn about customer service anymore? Or, maybe it is just me.