Does no mean no for Rick Perry as a 2012 GOP prez candidate?

When it comes to presidential politics, “no” often means “yes,” and even more succinctly, “book” means “yes.”

Fresh from an unprecedented re-election to a fourth term as Texas governor comes Rick Perry, slayer of coyotes, threatening to wrest Texas from the jaws of the rest of the union and now author of a new book called “Fed Up.” If you expected me to link to his new book, sorry, you don’t know me at all.

Quick, a little word association — or in Perry’s case, disassociation:

  • Political figure writing books — running for president.
  • Political figure on TV book tour saying he is not running for president — running  for president.
  • Political figure on TV book tour saying he is not running for president on Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show” — running for president.

There you have it folks. Gov. Good Hair doth protest a bit too much when declaring  he will not run for president as darling or Mr. Congeniality of the Tea Party. Would Sarah Palin settle for Veep again? Only if she didn’t get the nomination herself. The Tea Party seems way too traditional to even let a woman run for political office when she would best serve someone at home barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. But I guess they make exceptions for things such as that, or for bad qualities such as lying. (Saying you are not running for president when you

Dumb and Dumber: Which is which?

have every intention to do so. A white lie for a good ol’ white boy.)

Like his predecessor, Gee Dubya By God Bush, Good Hair is a master at multi-tasking so hedging his bets by staying employed by the State of Texas as its governor no es un problema. Perry can keep his cushy little job as governor of Ol No. 2. I say that meaning Texas is number 2 in population and area. As well as Gross State Product (GSP.) I suppose Perry would qualify for that too.

There is nothing better I like than spending tax money on a politician running for office, but only if I like him, her or it. The GSP, well, not so much.

Now that Bush and Perry have dueling books, the world gets treated to lame TV interviews of the two people whom I least would want to have seen as a representative of this the greatest, even at No. 2 because like Avis we try harder, state in the Onion. Perry’s book said Bush spent too much as president. I haven’t read either one but I suppose Bush will say something about Perry like “his feet stunk.” Boys will be boys!

I really can’t see Perry being elected as president because I don’t think that — even though they did elect George W. Bush — there are quite enough brain dead American voters to pull it off. Of course, it always helps to have a Supreme Court in your pocket.