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Will Perry run or just hunt coyotes?

If I had access to Lexis-Nexis I bet I could find a quote where our Good-haired Guv, Mr. Perry, supports term limits. I say that because he has been in elected office for some time now. Maybe he didn’t say it at a press availability which now seems to be favored by both politicians and media alike because it is easy. Maybe he said at some small town function where he, as a young House member, didn’t figure the Whipoorwill City news made it to Austin or Dallas.

But I don’t have Lexis. I don’t even have PublicData at the moment. It would be something rich to throw in Good Hair’s face when he runs for Governor or President or Travis County commissioner. The GOP wouldn’t care. Hypocrites are no problem. The Democrats would make hay with such lines, for sure.

And we should care why? It looks like the Guv might just run again.

Perry told the Dallas Regional Chamber that his biggest potential foe as governor, Attorney General Greg Abbott has pledged he will not run against him if he decides to run for an unprecedented fourth term. Of course, that’s if Abbott doesn’t decide to have the governor indicted for some crime or the other. Then he runs for governor. That also depends whether one of the big powers in Texas politics decides to run against him. There are certainly some big pols circling the Governor’s Mansions like buzzards these days. I speak of Lite Gov. David Dewhurst, and others who have been patiently waiting their turn to be picked as the “Good Party Man,” or lady if, for instance, Comptroller Susan Combs decides it’s her turn.

The chamber types were told by the Guv that he would decide sometime this summer. I can’t hardly wait.

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California burnin,’ Texas style!

Well if this isn’t a fine how do you do. The state of California is known for its wild fires that get out of control when the Santa Ana winds start blowing and whatever other kinds of natural freaks show up. And now? I don’t know whether the state just doesn’t have enough left to burn or is worried about what is left. But, a California university wants to pay to burn a patch of Texas ground.

Now I know the fire and environmental folks around Houston, where the 115 acres was scheduled for torching during the gusty winds this afternoon, have seen plenty of their own land go up in smoke and flames. Hey, wake up! Remember the disaster last year in Bastrop? Almost 1,700 homes burned up in the county, less than 100 miles away from Houston.

I suppose some of the folks out on the left coast just have money to burn. Break out the Gatorade for the firefighters and some margaritas for the neighbors. This sounds like something Guvnuh Good Hair Perry dreamed up.

 

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Monkeying around with iPods: Will it lead to gambling in Texas?

Let’s see. You have Super Bowl XLVII being played at the Mercedes-Benz Superbowl. That grand old venue has moved on up from its days as the Louisiana Superdome, back when I saw the very first concert there featuring the Allman Brothers.

Oh lawd, somebody done bought a Mercedes-Benz! Then you got the Mardi Gras going on, Fat Tuesday itself a week from Tuesday coming. So you for sure got some crazy happening.

Then, of course, you got the “Brother Bowl.” Two brothers named Harbaugh happen to be coaching against each other. The only thing that could be more perfect for the media would be two brothers coaching against each other and two brothers as QB facing each other. Kind of like say, the hometown New Aw’lens Manning boys. Wouldn’t that be something! But the Mannings aren’t playing — except probably in one of those $4 million tv spots — so that means only one thing that could be better. Yes suh! Monkeys!

And leave it to the folks on the Island, I’m talking Galveston Island, to produce some monkeys to go prognosticate the Super Bowl winners.

Three saki monkeys with iPads have picked the San Francisco 49ers to win the Super Bowl over the Baltimore Ravens. Glory be!

 “Two of the monkeys selected made their selections by painting on the 49ers logo. The third showed his feelings on the game by placing unhappy faces on the Ravens logo,” said a press release from Moody Gardens, where the sakis and other wild things live in a 10-story glass pyramid. Those island folks can be plenty crazy, you know.
The Rainforest Pyramid is a 10-story glass structure that is home to more than 1,000 species of plants and animals, the Moody Gardens release from PR Newswire said. After a $25 million enhancement in 2011, visitors are able to experience more rainforest life from around the world, including Africa, Asia and the Americas. Many of the animals within the pyramid are free-roaming, like the saki monkeys and cotton-top tamarinds.
 
Cotton-top tamarinds? Why I think I saw some of those island sugars dressed in cotton-top tamarinds. Or maybe not. The PR folks for Moody Gardens say the iPads those little monkeys are using is part of an “enrichment program.” Enrichment? Like maybe gambling? Galveston used to be known for that way back when the island was wide open with famous places like the Balinese.
If some folks have their way and their wishes come true with casino gambling, Galveston could become something in between New Orleans and Atlantic City. The Texas Lege is in session as we speak but casino gambling will be a hard sell for Texas. Years ago, all the hyper-religious groups kept such establishments away. But now the religious have a friend in that fight. The friend is big gambling which is found in every state bordering The Lone Star State.
We’ll see what happens. But you have to watch them monkeys. They’re sneaky little devils. First thing it’s football and the next thing all of a sudden its “Seven come 11.”  You know all that talk about evolution and stuff.
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Going down to the river’s edge. Then I am gone.

Hey folks, how’s it hanging?

I been riding all around Hell and half of Orange County, Texas, today. I was down by the river. It was a river as Neil Young might sing about: “Down by the river, I shot my baby,” seems so appropriate. For that is the Neches River I speak of today. Seems like someone is always shooting their loved one along the Neches.Or else they are dumping a body — whether they loved the person or not — in that same river or its nearby sister river, the Sabine. Nothing was calling me down to the water. No one I know of was saying“Take Me To The River,” as in the Delbert McClinton version of the 1974 Al Green song also done in a decent new wave by The Talking Heads.

I was just down along the river for no other reason than “working for a living.” I wonder why so many people turn their noses up to Huey Lewis and the News? Maybe it’s because a lot of his songs sound alike. I don’t know. I always liked some of his songs. Hell, you don’t have to be a fanatic to like a song.

Rivers seem to inspire a lot of songwriters. Perhaps my favorite river song of all time is “Big River,” the Man in Black Johnny Cash and his masterpiece ode to the big Missisip.

 “Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry/And I taught the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky/And the tears that I cried for that woman, they’re gonna flood you Big River/And I’m gonna sit right here until I die.”

Likewise, who can forget Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Proud Mary?” “Rollin,’ rollin,’ rollin,’ on the river … ”

So much to say about the river. So many memories. But soon it was time to turn around. Work time beckoned

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Texas is full of heroes with nary an umbrella

Business took me to the university today. The weather felt more like late March than late January. Folks have told me that this might be it for winter. This might be Texas but people shouldn’t say the winter is done until it is done.

It has been awhile since I have seen a late winter though.

Not a lot of kids were stirring on the school quadrangle or whatever they call it. The place has a big head of a man who once was a president of the Republic of Texas. The big-headed man has a name. Mirabeau Buonaparte Lamar. I wonder if voters gave him the crap that Obama got from his middle name — Fillmore? Lamar is described as a poet, politician, diplomat and soldier. Hmmm. I wrote poems. I even had some published. So can I be known as a poet? I guess you have to have a big head too. Which makes me wonder …

Did you ever know a man named Umbrella Jones? He had a big head and thus he carried around a big umbrella with which to fit his big head. He had a lot of things in his head. Like Richard Brautigan poems.

Mirabeau Big Head Lamar was accepted to Princeton but instead worked at two failing businesses including a newspaper. When president, Lamar drove the Cherokees from Texas which made him at odds with Sam Houston. The Cherokees liked Big Sam — he has a big statue on Interstate 45 outside of Huntsville, Texas. He has no umbrella. Big Sam had stayed with the Cherokees. They called Sam “the Big Drunk.” Perhaps they knew that one day he would have a big statue. Maybe even the Cherokees saw in their visions that one day a great general with five stars would build what was called the “Interstate System.”

The system would be known at one time for roadside trading posts called “Stuckey’s” with pee-can log rolls and places off the highway where traders and travelers might rest and do the pee pee. But damned if there wasn’t a lack of umbrella.

Lamar was known as the “Father of Education” in Texas. Which makes one wonder who is the Uncle of Education? Or perhaps the Mother’s Half-Brother’s Aunt of Education? Mirabeau later fought in the Mexican-American War and was appointed by President Buchanan, when Texas became a state, as Minister to Nicaragua. Much much later they named this college in Beaumont, Lamar University, after him.

Even though it is nice to have a university in town named after a poet and diplomat, it is much more satisfying to have graduated from a fine school named after the Father of Texas: “Umbrella “Peabody” Jones State College for the Foolish. Just kidding. I was a graduate of the university named after the “real” Father of Texas, Stephen F Austin. I don’t think his head is all that big and he has no statue on the freeway. However, Steve is honored with a life-sized statue of him in front of the library where he is surfing the big waves off Galveston during a hurricane. Good ol’ Surfing Steve. By golly. And wouldn’t you know he forgot his umbrella.