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Phil says: Six more weeks of something

Happy Woodchuck Day. I mean Groundhog Day.

I am unsure that groundhog would be a suitable substitute in the tongue-twister:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Try it:

How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

I mean, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Of course, except in the realm of anthropomorphism, neither would one would likely see woodchucks chucking wood. That is, except in a GEICO commercial.

Either way, groundhogs, a.k.a. woodchucks, whistle-pigs and land beavers, don’t know syrup from mole asses when it comes to practicing climatology. That, nevertheless, doesn’t keep the town of Punxsutawney, Pa., from committing annual civic larceny by luring a groundhog out of the ground every Feb. 2, with said whistle-pig purporting to predict whether six more weeks of winter shall visit upon us.

Sorry, I know that is a bit strong. I am sure it is a fun celebration on Groundhog Day. Here is what Punxsutawney’s official Web site says of the goings on this morning:

“Hear Ye Hear Ye Hear Ye!

On Gobbler’s Knob on this magnificent Groundhog Day, February 2nd, 2012, Punxsutawney Phil, the Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators, was summoned from his burrow in the old oak stump by the tap of President Bill Deeley.

At 7:25 a.m. he greeted his handlers, John Griffiths and Ron Ploucha. After casting an appreciative glance toward thousands of his faithful followers, Phil proclaimed:

As I look at the crowd on Gobbler’s Knob,
Many shadows do I see
So six more weeks of winter it must be!”

Burma Shave.

So by the prognostication of Phil’s shadow does it appear that we shall have six more weeks of winter, meaning sometime during the six weeks some place will actually receive winter weather. It really has been kind of a weak winter, nationally. Or, there shall be no winter at all. Or, the weather will stay as it is. As it is here, where I live, on the upper Texas coast, that means warm, humid, cloudy and even rainy weather. That rocks pretty much as far as I am concerned since we have suffered a very ugly drought.

Personally, I think predicting the end of winter is for the birds. Literally.

I saw a robin red-breast on Sunday when I went for a short walk. I started to pull out my cell phone and take a picture of it, but I figured it would be gone by then. It actually ignored me for about a minute or so.

Not long before seeing the robin, I saw a small V-shaped flock of geese flying el norte.

“Hey boys, I think we can get to Indianapolis in time for the Super Bowl,” says the geese squadron leader.

“Roger that. Honk honk,” the wingman replies.

When it comes to predicting weather by other than human beings using sophisticated science and radars and stuff, which member of the animal kingdom would you choose? A rodent or a bird?

If you are like a real person you probably could give a rat’s ass unless you are a farmer or someone else whose lives depend on the upcoming weather. And I might be wrong but most modern farmers probably don’t trust their livelihoods to either bird or rodent. That means there isn’t a lot we can do about what type of weather appears in the upcoming six weeks.

So it looks like we’re back to square one. Deja vu all over again, like Yogi Berra said. Why it’s just like that movie. What’s it called? I’m trying to remember.

Oh yeah, “Groundhog Day.”

 

 

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Veterans may have new way to fight sleep apnea

Almost 10 years have passed since I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. I found out that news — something I had suspected for some time — at a joint Department of Veterans Affairs and Department of Defense Sleep Lab at the Olin E. Teague VA Hospital in Temple, Texas. I was prescribed a CPAP, for Continued Positive Airway Pressure, machine.

CPAPs, especially older ones, can be kind of a pain in the bumski. But for the various maladies the machines can help prevent they are pretty much worth the trouble. VA patients may now have the opportunity for a simpler, much lighter and less complicated device to treat sleep apnea.

A company called Ventus medical has entered into a multi-year contract with the VA for the use of Provent® Sleep Apnea Therapy, a small, non-invasive nasal device for the treatment of obstructive sleep apnea. More than 4 million veterans suffer from sleep apnea. A 61 percent increase in diagnoses have been seen for veterans between 2008-2010 due to respiratory-causing problems from dust in Iraq and Afghanistan. A press release from the company explains how this treatment works:

 “Provent Therapy utilizes nasal expiratory positive airway pressure (EPAP) to keep a patient’s airway open during. It incorporates a novel MicroValve design that is placed over the nostrils and secured with hypoallergenic adhesive. During inhalation, the valve opens allowing nearly unobstructed airflow. During exhalation, the valve closes, limiting airflow through small openings, which increases expiratory pressure and keeps the airway open, preventing disruption in breathing.”

The CPAP has been with me for most of the time since I was diagnosed. I say most of the time, I have never taken it camping with me because the times I went camping I didn’t have the means to plug my machine into my truck for electricity. I have the means now but haven’t been camping in awhile. Taking the machine along, especially using air travel, can also be a hassle. The machine isn’t all that rugged so it is carry-on luggage. In the first days of the TSA, traveling with a CPAP wasn’t all that difficult. One might just place the machine inside its bag on the conveyer belt. Then the TSA began requiring the machines be taken out and put on top of the carrying bag. Now they security folks want you to take the guts of the machine off of the humidifier so it can be X-rayed.

Breathing from a machine which may or may not make a little noise, not to mention wearing a nasal or full nasal-mouth mask at night, also isn’t the sexiest look for the bedroom. That is unless, perhaps, you are pretending to be a fighter pilot. I’m just guessing here. I have no first-hand knowledge though.

The Provent Therapy definitely has the promise of unburdening yourself with some 10-to-20 pounds of machine, wires and tubes. It might not be for everyone, however.

I was interested in Provent so I sent an e-mail last night to an address I got through the company’s Web site. My main concern is that often during the night my nasal passages are often stopped up for a great deal of time. Since the device fits under your nose, yes, that is it, I wondered if it would do its job on me. A company representative called me this afternoon. The nice lady said that because of the way the Provent Therapy works, it might not be effective for someone suffering from blocked nasal passages.

The representative suggested I ask my doctor about use of Provent Therapy and perhaps asking for some kind of medicine to dry up my nasal passages. The last thing I want right now are any more meds. Other than an occasional Benedryl, I haven’t used any type of allergy medicine since I left Central Texas and its hellish “cedar fever.” So I kind of doubt it is worth the trouble of asking my doctor for the device.

Provent Therapy might be worthwhile for other veterans though. I am not endorsing it, but if you want to check it out, read the Web information and ask your VA doc about. For more information about the product itself, you can call toll-free 1-888-757-9355.

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What were you whistling 30 years ago today? Find out.

Do you remember what you were doing on this day 10 years ago? How about 20? Howze about 50?

While you may not remember exactly what was happening on Jan. 31, 2002, or Jan. 31, 1982, chances are if you heard a song that was popular during that time it would most likely stir up your memory.

Well, with good ol’ Al Gore’s invention (made famous by Gee Dubya Bush), the Internets, one is able to travel back in time to find the top hit for this day — within reason – all the way back to the 1890s. The Billboard charts date back to the 1930s, so I don’t know how this Website that has all the top Billboard songs for a given day happens to have those top songs back to the 1890s. But this is the Internet. This particular site not only provides the opportunity to find the No. 1 song for a particular day but as well will let you hear it using clickable Rhapsody, iTunes and even some You Tube recordings.

It is quite a find actually. Supposing it’s accurate — if you want accuracy you do the cross checking — it gives everyone who uses a song to reflect upon their lives a melodic memory machine. So here are a few top songs for this day, Jan. 31:

Five years ago: “Irriplaceable,” Beyoncé, 2007

Ten years ago: “U Got It Bad,” Usher, 2002

20 years ago: “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me,” Elton John and George Michael, 1992 This is kind of a time warp since Elton first released the song solo in Summer 1974 when I was in Navy boot camp.

30 years ago: “Centerfold,” J. Geils Band, 1982. I remember a very cute friend from college asking me what would I do if I one day saw her on a centerfold. I said: “Uh, look?”

40 years ago: “American Pie,” Don McLean, 1972. Jeez, 40 years ago! Man, that really makes me feel old! Makes me feel like driving my Chevy in a levee, even if it’s dry.

50 years ago: “Peppermint Twist,” 1962, Joey Dee and the Starliters.

56 years ago: “Memories Are Made Of This,” Dean Martin 1956. I don’t think I heard this one until now, but then again I was only three months old when this was No. 1.

It is an interesting listing, this walk way down Memory Lane, plus an opportunity to listen to most of the songs. I don’t know what kind of “phile” you call a music lover but that’d be me. Of course, there are many who are much more into music than I am but between a fanatic and a hater on a scale of 1 and 10 with 1 being a fanatic, I would probably be a 2.75.

Interesting factoid: The No. 1 hit on this day in 1957 — I was 15 months old then — was “Singing The Blues” by Guy Mitchell. I don’t know Guy Mitchell. I also don’t know what I was doing that day either. I was probably throwing icky things. But I know and am a big fan of Marty Robbins (“El Paso,” “Devil Woman,” “Big Iron”) and I always thought he first recorded this song Guy Mitchell took to No. 1 on Jan. 31, 1957. The song did go to No. 1 on the country charts in 1956-57 with Robbins’ version which, along with the three aforementioned songs, are among my favorite Marty Robbins tunes. Guy Mitchell’s version is a bit more pop and has whistling in it. Whistling is good for some things, such as Old Spice commercials, but not for great songs such as “I never felt more like singing the blues/I never thought that I’d ever lose/Your love, dear/Why did you do me this way …”

Take a trip back to memory lane and you can even whistle if you’d like.

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Police seek suspect in neighborhood bank heist

First of all, I have to say that I hate to see any neighborhood business get robbed. There have been a few neighborhood robberies in the past couple of years including banks. When the bank that gets held up is where you do business, even if most of the transactions are online, it kind of touches you in a special way. I guess that is what I get from growing up in a small town.

Sure enough the Bank of America, 2625 Calder Ave., Beaumont, Texas, was robbed about 11 a.m. today. Beaumont police say the suspect came into the bank and stood at the service island as if he was pretending to look for a deposit slip. A bank worker came up to the man and asked if he needed help — something this bank does routinely — and he said, no, and handed her a note saying he was just here to rob the bank. That sounds flippant, I know, but the police are not releasing the exact wording of the note. That is approximately what police said happen except it was more matter-of-fact, Joe Friday, manner. Jess! The facts ma’am!

Wanted for allegedly robbing the Bank of America in Beaumont, Texas--Photo Beaumont Police Department

A Beaumont police news release said the suspect is a white man, 30-40 years old, about 6-feet, 190 pounds, light skin, short dark hair, with acne scars on his cheeks. And damn if I haven’t seen this guy somewhere before, seriously, he looks familiar but I can’t remember where I have seen him. If you notice the photo, he was wearing his sunglasses on his head and had on a blue pullover shirt with the number “54” on it. Something is written below the number on the front, but the police are not mentioning it. I wonder why? The jersey also has some kind of logo transposed on the number.

So what is the significance of the jersey first of all? Is it a football jersey? Pro or college? It’s probably pro. Now think about pro football stars — present and past — who wore a blue #54 jersey? Tedy Bruschi, retired New England Patriots linebacker and now ESPN analyst? Chuck Howley, Dallas Cowboys linebacker, Super Bowl V MVP and part of the SB VI championship team? Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears linebacker, 8-time Pro Bowl? Just to mention a few.

Doing a little critical thinking here, if this guy is between 30 and 40 years old then Howley might have been retired when this man was born. Urlacher is still playing. Bruschi, probably more popular. But a northern team? Sure, why not? He might have been transplanted with his company to Houston and was/is a Pats fan. And what if he was laid off like so many others thanks to the Bush administration?

He doesn’t disguise himself. What does that mean? Does he want to get caught?  The news release doesn’t say if he had a gun. Did he have one? KFDM says he didn’t and that he left heading for 10th Street, that is the cross-street for the bank. What are these guys thinking, bank robbers? And he looks familiar. That’s not good. If you see him call the police or FBI. Tell ’em eightfeetdeep told you about it  and they’ll likely lock you up as well.

It is kind of interesting contemplating a bank-robber’s life. Most of us will never know who this guy is and his story. In some cases, it’s just as well.

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A tale of two windbags

Newt got cold-cocked in last night’s debate. I was happy to see that even though I halfway hope he wins the nomination because I feel the whole universe would see just how despicable and ridiculous this whiter-than-white man really is. And of course, if you are expecting Newt to beat the incumbent president, you are three off-ramps past delusional.

Timothy Egan, political columnist for The New York Times, does a masterful job of “deconstructing a demagogue” which is Newt Gingrich. That Newt, what a piece of work.

Arizona guv: Tongue-wagging, finger-wagging windbag

How is that for a description of Jan Brewer and her encounter with POTUS after Air Force One landed outside Phoenix? The photo showing Brewer pointing her finger at Obama got a lot of words today and is apparently boosting her book sales. Obviously, a lot of drama queen exists inside the right-wing Arizona governor. First she told the media she was intimidated by Obama and later she chalked up the finger-pointing episode to her natural gesticulating.

Maybe the governor is just an animated person. But we’re talking the President of the United States here. Show some respect for office if not the man, for God’s sake!

There were a few times when, working as a reporter, I was within hearing distance — using the word “earshot” might get me a visit from the Men in Black — of President George W. Bush. Now if you read this blog with even slight regularity when Bush was in office, you will surely know I was not his biggest fan. That is really an understatement. Nevertheless, I once sat three rows behind him in a small chapel during an Easter service then I joined a hungry pack of reporters who gathered as he answered a few questions after the service. I never had the chance to ask him a question at the two or three times I covered press gatherings involving the president. (I did speak to him one-on-one before he was Texas governor.) If I had the opportunity I certainly would have asked him my question with respect. That is even though my basic instinct was wanting to shout the word “a**hole” at him.

Of course, there was my job — and future ones — that would have precluded me from shouting a dirty word at him. I guess you don’t have to worry about getting fired, for awhile at least, when you hold elective office. Even so, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, thus spake Aretha. It’s just common decency, manners. People don’t seem to care about that anymore, especially a lot of those who are so self-absorbed in their own business and private lives. Someone needs to send those people for a time out — like that baby in the E-trade commercials — without their computers or iPhones or Blackberry.

Governor Brewer, go to your room!