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Pay no attention to the grouchy old man behind the computer

Those of you who know me probably know that I try to write here every weekday. Sometimes it is difficult. Other times it is impossible, for one reason or the other. I would say that is the way it is for every dedicated writer, or dare I say,  every person who toils for one reason or the next. Today is one of those days it is difficult.

The computer situation at work — shall we leave it thus as it is too damned complicated to explain — first exasperated me.

Then there was the business I need to visit to make a payment that apparently has never heard of regular hours.

And then, well, let’s just call her S.C.

S.C. was once one of my closest friends. I saw her today at the supermarket. I haven’t spoken to her in maybe three years although we both live and work within several blocks of each other.

I am not totally sure what happened to end our friendship. Make that, I am not sure why she ended our friendship. It was more like a break-up of a romantic relationship, something of which I have had too much experience. That’s too many break-ups, not too many romantic relationships. Ours wasn’t a romantic relationship although I think if someone didn’t know us they might think we were a couple. We certainly argued a lot. She never really said for sure why she ended our friendship. I like to, jokingly, think it was because I allegedly broke her toilet tank one night when I was sleeping on her couch. I know she had issues with me though. The toilet incident might have been the straw that broke that relationship’s back.

Those issues she harbored against me, she never shared, but I know what they were about. I won’t say how I know. But I was once a reporter and have ways of finding things out. These were issues that, had she just said something to me about it, I could’ve corrected my behavior. That didn’t happen though because. S.C. would go out of her way to avoid confrontation.

I think the last time I had a conversation with her was on the phone one night. I didn’t know that she had sent me a letter and for lack of a long explanation, I didn’t get it until much later. One of the things which she said upset her was something that occurred when we had run into each other at another store in another town at another time. We coincidentally both happened to be working that day.  I said: “Hey S.C.,” quietly, upon passing her. She apparently didn’t hear me so she thought I had snubbed her. Today, she was in the line for the courtesy booth at the store as I was walking out. I said hello, again quietly, upon walking out. All she did was crinkle up the ends of her mouth for a nanosecond, it seemed like more of a smirk or that she had just stepped on a piece of dog shit.

So I am also kind of mad about that. But I will get over it. Looking on the bright side, at least I was able to draw more than 500 words out of my crappy day.

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What the world needs now is another presidential debate like I need a hole in my head*

Whoever it was that is responsible for the mind-numbing numbers of “presidential debates” during the 2011-12 election years — the debates prior to the Commission for Presidential Debate ones — should be taken out and horse-whipped.

Yes, that is a very strong statement but the 27 or so debates among Republican candidates prior to the four debates this fall between President Obama and the GOP nominee have proven themselves as something to keep campaign dollars and the news media flying. Right now there are two, maybe three, more Republican candidates still running for the nomination than there should be and one has to imagine that wouldn’t be the case without the debates.

We are really getting nothing meaningful from the debates. Maybe some Republicans are and I agree I am not one of those. But if you have yet not had a chance to make up your mind who you want to be the GOP standard-bearer then you probably shouldn’t be voting. I would liken those who have seen these same clowns over and over and over and still haven’t decided who is preferential to people who stand for 10 minutes at the sandwich counter asking question after question without ordering. Is it that damn difficult to order a sandwich? Is it that hard to decide upon a Republican candidate for president? What do you have to decide? Is the (white) guy, yes guy, against all kind of taxes? Is he for prying into your private affairs? Then, hey, you got your candidate. Next!

Probably the best result of these debates, so far, was with what ease it took to see that our Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry is about the biggest goof-o-ramus one could imagine. Though once again, I don’t see why it took as long as it did to see Perry is such a loser on the stage outside Texas.

And while Herman Cain was somewhat entertaining at times, it certainly wasn’t the debates which showed that he wasn’t a real choice.

Debates are only about one thing: Who can best debate under a given format. I’m no expert although I did debate in high school and was partnered up with an excellent debater who ended up excelling at the contest as a college debater. RIP Waldo, you ol’ master debater! One important lesson I learned debating was that you only are only as good as you are seen by those who judge you. Say what? If you play the game, you likely win. If you are inept at the game, like Rick Perry, you go home.

Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney do very well at the type of debate most seen on the recent televised debates. Rick Santorum and Ron Paul hold their own and often have their moments. These forums shown are not the so-called “policy debates” that have been contested in schools for years and the kind in which I participated. The policy debates stick to one topic for the year and debaters have to research and debate based upon the efficacy produced by that research combined with the ability to speak and think on one’s feet. The debates one sees on TV among candidates don’t even have a clear winner. They are “judged” by the hoots and cheers of an audience and/or the opinion of so many pundits.

Gingrich fancies himself as a great orator and debater. He said he plans to challenge Obama to a series of three-hour “Lincoln-Douglas” style debates if the GOP former speaker is nominated. The Lincoln-Douglas or (LD), named after the series of 1858 Illinois U.S. Senate debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas, are closer to the policy debates than the current TV debates though with certain differences. Either way, Gingrich has such an ego that he probably believes he could out-debate God Almighty. One with knowledge in debate or arguments could easily make a case why Obama, a constitutional law professor and attorney, might just wipe the floor with Gingrich.

Romney, who has proved no slouch at recent televised debates, mocked Gingrich for his attacks on the moderators and news media which has provided the former Georgia congressman and Speaker with loud cheers from the many conservatives in the debate crowds.

There are two reasons one doubts the probability of such debates. First, such LD debates would not be to the president’s advantage. Secondly,  he would face little, if any, risk in refusing an LD debate over a traditional TV debate. Finally and most importantly, it seems very unlikely Gingrich would win the nomination.

Presidential campaigns have played themselves out over the history of the United States for many years without resorting to so many useless, one-sided, debates for the Republican nomination. The seemingly endless number of televised debates, at its base, lacks a fundamental fairness in that examination of major issues are only studied and commented upon from one party’s point of view.

In the end, it might not make any difference. The GOP appears to be winding down as a race between Romney and Gingrich. It seems unrealistic to believe the Republican powers that be will let Gingrich become their nominee. Romney as the standard-bearer could very likely be a losing proposition. But there is little room for debate that Gingrich would make a successful presidential candidate.

*Headline with apologies to the great rock band Cracker.

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Get out the tin foil, sun’s a-comin’

Okay. Listen very carefully. A hell of a solar storm is wrapping itself over the planet. Everyone needs to follow these important instructions:

1. Take off all your clothes.

2. Rub Elmer’s glue all over your body.

3. Wrap yourself in aluminum foil from head to toe. When you get to the head, you need to start wrapping the foil until you can make yourself a cone. A cone will act as an antenna for the radioactive impulses emanating from the sun. The charges will flow along all four sides of your body from the cone into the ground. In about three months, this will be a great place to plant strawberries, squash or watermelons as the ground becomes charged with radioactive particles.

4. Once the solar storm passes, carefully unwrap the aluminum foil from your body and take a long bath in a mixture of white vinegar and soap powder.

5. Enjoy living without your aluminum wrap.

This is your brain on drugs. No, wait it is radiation from the sun, or something or other.

Chump.

Please don’t follow the above instructions. Someone would have to take you out into the desert or the forest and shoot you for being too stupid.

There is, however, a “space hurricane” as one story tells it. It is the most intense sun storm in almost a decade. The solar event is causing some flights over the poles to reroute due to the radiation and interference with electrical navigation and communication equipment. Then there is the aurora borealis.

The northern lights may be quite spectacular in some places due to the solar activity. Just how far south it might be seen is beyond my paygrade. But check out this story. Plus, this NOAA map shows the area of auroral activity worldwide and shows activity as far South as St. Louis, albeit not heavy activity. Theoretically, the lights can be seen anywhere north of the Equator, depending on the intensity of the solar activity and magnetic pole positioning. One story I read says the lights may be seen once or twice every 100 years south of the Tropic of Cancer, which runs along the middle of Mexico, the Gulf of Mexico and near Key West in the Western Hemisphere.

I doubt we will see the northern lights here in Southeast Texas because, thankfully, we are due some heavy rain. I’d love to see the aurora borealis. But there are always a lot of spectacular sites one may see out there in the sky. I’ve spent more time than I can remember looking at eclipses, meteor showers, Halley’s, Hale-Bopp and the heavenly bodies viewed with both telescopes and without. All you have to do is look up. And like the story in the Chronicle says, all you have to do is look north for the aurora borealis and, hopefully, have a clear night.

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Newt won S.C. but don’t count out Mitt “The Glove” Romney

Whoa! Stop the presses! U.S. Senator throws a hissy fit over normal TSA airport protocol.

That is for sure. Republican Sen. Rand Paul, Kentucky, was all tizzied out today after he was halted by airport security in Nashville. Reports indicate a scanner alarm activated when Paul, son of Republican presidential nominee candidate, Ron Paul, passed through. The TSA personnel told Paul he would have to be patted down before boarding his flight. Paul said no can do. He was allowed to go after awhile, but not without stirring up a bunch of hard-nose Republican bulls**t. You don’t want to fly by the rules, Sonny boy, then hitch a ride with a big rig. I’ve done it before. But I can’t for the life of me remember what the guy was hauling. Maybe it was Republican bulls**t, couldn’t tell. Personally, I’d probably be a little miffed if the TSA wanted to pat me down, then again, I’ve been searched before. It’s not the end of the world and the Constitution didn’t go up in flames.

Newty but not nice

We all got a chance to hear, yet once again, how smart Newt Gingrich is after his win in the South Carolina Republican Primary.  God that guy is a blowhard. The cable media — I was flipping between CNN and MSNBC for the short time I watched the S.C. coverage — was making the former Speaker’s win seem like the Second Coming. They have to do that, I suppose, to keep folks interested and sell that soap or shares of stock or Victoria Secret panties.

Gingrich was trying to sound all presidential during his however-the-hell-long-it-was speech after declaring himself winner. If everybody sits back and relaxes and takes a breath or two and reads this graphic from The New York Times then they might see that Gingrich is ahead in the delegate count by four. It might be fun to see the GOPs being forced into a brokered convention. Maybe Gingrich would win that way or even Santorum. But I doubt it. I still predict Mitt “The Glove” Romney. I think The Glove is a great nickname for Romney, a man who has perhaps even more of a bizarre moniker than Barack Obama. Actually, I think Obama is really black Irish.

When in doubt, punt

It is a good bet I will miss the Super Bowl unless it proves to show half-decent television commercials. The quality of the expensive Super Bowl ads has withered like cheap grapes over recent years. Likewise, I am less excited about the NY Giants matchup with New England than I am with the musical guest, Madonna. Like a virgin, but back when I was preoccupied with zits.

Yeah, I never wrote about the heartbreaking loss my team, the Texans, suffered against Baltimore. They really should have beaten the Ravens. Too many mistakes. That kind of stuff will happen to a rookie quarterback such as Tim Tebow T.J. Yates. Oh well, the Texans hadn’t been that far before so it was a great ride. Perhaps we shall see a better team and better fortune for Houston next year. Stranger things have happened.

 

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Good Hair’s out. I’m sick.

Everybody and their dog, by now, likely knows Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry has dropped out of the insane spectacle known as the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Perry has thrown his support to Newt Gingrich on the day the Newtered’s second wife is claiming the former House Speaker wanted an open marriage. Better Newt than later.

It still seems highly unlikely anyone except Mitt Romney will be anointed GOP nominee barring some otherworldly occurrence. Even so Gingrich seems least likely of any of this crop’s top candidates, present or past, to defeat Obama in the General Election.

Frankly, I don’t care at this point who gets the nomination. I do wonder what the return of Perry will mean for the Texas political landscape for the next several years. Will his fellow Texas Republicans in the Legislature pile on Perry, thus rendering a bigger freak show than it is already? Will Perry run again for governor? If so, would he win? These are questions more important at this point to me than why the governor dropped out of the race. We already know why he dropped out: Real people unlike those who voted continuously for him in Texas don’t buy his act. They realize what those of us who didn’t vote for him already knew–that he was an empty cowboy hat and boots.

The less I hear the name Rick Perry on the national scene, the happier I will be.

What I am unhappy  about is my stomach. The headline above, Perry’s out, I’m sick. Well, I’m certainly not sick Perry dropped out. No, I am feeling ill today because my tummy has taken me on an unpleasant ride, the destination of which has mainly been the bathroom. If that is TMI already, I’m sorry.

I have no idea what has upset the tank, but at this point, I only want the feelings which run from stormy to gut-punch to cease and desist. I’ve already switched my workday from today to tomorrow, thus ruining a three-day weekend. That’s kind of crappy, if you ask me. I’ll not remark upon the pun. Time for a nap.