Who won’t run for president? Stink-foot, that’s who.

Bum bum bum. Another one bites the dust. Bum bum bum. Another one bites the dust. And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust …

By golly, if there is one thing we news consumers are learning lately, it is who is NOT running for president.

And another one gone and another one gone … Sarah Palin. Chris Christie.

And another one gone and another one gone …

And now, Rudolph Giuliani. Did we even believe he was going to run for president? Of the United States? He said it was too late. No kidding? Plus, did we really want to elect someone who appeared cross-dressing in public? I mean, Uncle Miltie could pull it off, well I mean, not literally, rather, he could get by cross-dressing and it was sort of a signature of his even though I didn’t think it was very funny way back then. I am talking about Milton Berle for those of you whose frame of reference is Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus. I am not saying cross-dressing isn’t always unfunny. Cpl. Klinger was pretty funny. And even Lucy. Let’s face it, one man’s cross-dresser is another man’s transvestite. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Now hopefully it won’t be very long before we see who is left in the last roundup of the GOP sweeps. I could be wrong, but I think Romney will get the nomination. Who will be Veep? That’s a bigger question and it may likely be some other rabbit pulled from a hat just as McCain did during the last rodeo with Caribou Barbie.

But just in case you have a need for further comfort, here is a partial list of the remaining folks who definitely 1,110 percent certain will not run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination:

Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Pope John Paul II

Grover Cleveland Alexander

Grand Duchess Anastasia

Dan’l Boone

René-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle

Fatty Arbuckle

John Wayne Gacy

Miley Cyrus

Richard Milhous Nixon

Col. Wilhelm Klink

Richard the Lionhearted

Lizzy Borden

Aunt Jemimah

Boo Boo Bear

The Right Honourable Harold Holt

Bigfoot

Stink-foot

Eight Feet Deep

Salamander Slim

Johnny Depp

Lil’ Bo Peep

There are many others who have yet to announce their non-candidacy for president. Let us congratulate them all and many thanks to the late Queen vocalist Freddie Mercury, the retired Queen bassist John Deacon (“Another One Bites the Dust”) and the likewise late Frank Zappa (“Stink-foot”), all of whom will also not seek the 2012 GOP nomination for U.S. president.

 

Happy 2,000th: Some thought on “Catching Hell”

Today marks my 2,000th post on EFD since starting this blog during the Spring of 2005. I have had days when I did not post and I hardly ever write anything on weekends. I’ve been sidelined by hurricanes, business trips, long days at work and days when I just felt like Fido’s a**. I’ve tried to stay true to my beliefs that this space is my space and it is a place where I can practice the art of writing regardless of my ability to otherwise do so because of those instance such as long work days, hurricanes, business trips, vacations and weekends which have kept me from that practice. No matter what I write, how badly, how good, I have realized that if I don’t continue to practice I could lose abilities which were gained through more than 20 years as a professional writer. That is what keeps me going. Now, onto today’s big shoe show.

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Last night I watched for the second time a portion of “Catching Hell,” one of ESPN’s “30 For 30” film series. It is so named because the series features 30 stories from 30 filmmakers on subjects of the past 30 years. I have yet to see this particular film from start to finish, I hope to sometime, although I have seen the most important portions of the documentary.

The story tells of what might be otherwise just a quirky example of Americans and their superstitious obsession with sports were there not such dark socio-pyschological undercurrents involved. It is a cautionary tale of what could happen to anyone who might jump up to catch a foul ball, something one sees hundreds of times in ball parks and on TV. Except in this example, when the person emerges victoriously with the popped-up foul it evolves in something revealing the mean and even dangerous side of people who take their sports much too seriously.

Here are the important facts leading up to what has become known as the “Steve Bartman incident:”

  • In October 2003 the Chicago Cubs were five outs away from winning the National League pennant. The Cubs had not played in the World Series since 1945 and had not won the world championship in 95 years.
  • Mark Prior had pitched a three-hit shutout through the eighth inning with the Cubs leading 3-0 and led the Florida Marlins 3 games-to-2 in the sixth game of the best of seven series.
  • The Marlins’ Luis Castillo was at bat with one out and a man on second.
  • Castillo popped a foul up to the left field corner wall, behind the bullpen. The Cubs left fielder Moises Alou  jumped up for the foul as the ball drifted toward a seat.
  • Steve Bartman and several other Cubs fans reached out to grab the ball, but Bartman deflected the ball away from Alou’s glove as the fielder and Bartman tried to catch it. Alou slammed his glove down in frustration and yelled at several of the fans. The Cubs pleaded to the umpires for interference but did not get the call.

Castillo continued playing, drew a wild pitch from Prior and as some said in the documentary, “the wheels began to come off” for the terminally-unlucky Cubs. Ivan Rodriguez singled bringing in Juan Pierre, the runner who advanced to third on the wild pitch. In the end, the Marlins sent 12 batters to the plate and beat the Cubs 8-3.

The crowd became agitated and eventually starting shouting “A**hole” at Bartman, who had to be led away by security. The next night, the Marlins came back to beat the Cubs 9-6. They won the league championship and beat the New York Yankees in the World Series. The Cubs have not won a  playoff game since the incident.

Bartman became personna non grata among many of his fellow Chicagoans. He received death threats and could  not use his credit card fearing someone would recognize him. He has never given an interview, despite issuing an apology and having a number of Cubs officials and players who absolved  him of blame. The Cubs organization issued a statement saying:

 “We would also like to remind everyone that games are decided by what happens on the playing field — not in the stands. It is inaccurate and unfair to suggest that an individual fan is responsible for the events that transpired in Game 6. He did what every fan who comes to the ballpark tries to do — catch a foul ball in the stands. That’s one of the things that makes baseball the special sport that it is.”

Alou eventually said it was time to forgive the incident and move on.

The film “Catching Hell” provides some tremendous insight into the American mob mentality, its members whom often go to great links to explain how much more “civilized” they are than their European and South American counterparts who spark riots at soccer matches.

Sports games — especially those in which one really can get wrapped up in watching — can bring moments of high emotion. I had several of those yesterday calling Houston Texans QB Matt Schaub a few choice names when he failed to do something productive with the football in the last seconds of Houston’s disappointing five-point loss to Oakland. Schaub ended up throwing the ball into the end zone into the hands of an Oakland defender, ending the game. After the game I saw a replay showing Schaub did not have all that easy of a choice. He could have thrown the ball high up in the air but it still might have been picked off or ruled incomplete.

Sports look easy on the tube, all in the first seconds when you see it. That is even to experienced practitioners such as Moises Alou. But what “Catching Hell” shows best is that we need to move beyond those emotional plays and moments. To blame an individual for the failure of team, is both irrational and fraught with danger. Baseball and football are “just a game” too often they are treated as something way beyond that. It is during those times when we lose perspective and gaining it back can often be difficult or even impossible.

Got giddy-up? Happy Columbus-Canadian Thanksgiving.

Well, I tried.

I tried to write two pretty good screeds. They just weren’t good enough.

This has been such a s**tty day as well, that too much is going on in my mime. He keeps placing himself silently inside a box. It get’s kind of old. At least he isn’t noisy.

Were this a three-day weekend for me as it should be then perhaps life would be more tolerable than it is today. But I have to work tomorrow for a little while and that has definitely put a hitch in my giddy-up. Giddy-up. I like that. But I don’t like hitches in my giddy-up. Got that? Got giddy-up?

I better eat before I starve. Everyone else have a safe and wonderful Columbus Day in the states and a Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.

The New Jersey “Big Man” — and I’m not talking about the late E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons –said no.

Queen Sarah of the Northern Wastelands, Caribou Barbie her ownself, likewise said no.

Could it be the GOP pieces are finally in place for the 2012 presidential nomination? I certainly hope so. Current major polls are fairly close on Romney, Perry and Cain, in that order. Those will bob and weave, of course, with the latest scandal, the latest gaffe, the latest revelation, and the latest whatever. Once the primary starts will become time for the rubber to meet the road, somewhat. The order of the Republican presidential primaries are as tenuous as big-time college football affiliations. Will the Texas A & M Aggies find happiness among the SEC? Will TCU’s jump to the Big 12 cause it the school to relive its Southwest Conference glory days of Coach Dutch Meyer and “Slinging Sammy” Baugh? Tune in tomorrow for: “As the pigskin turns.”

The big question the Republicans continue to ask themselves is which of the candidates can beat the Black Man in the White House? That is probably how a good many GOP-ers frame the question as well although I doubt they use some of the words I use.

One poll shows that it would be a tie if Obama and Romney faced-off. Others prognosticate Obama would come out slightly ahead — or it would be a statistical tie depending on how you view it — against either Perry or Cain. These are very, very, very hypothetical, of course. They mention no vice president. And try as you might to convince me that a VP choice would make no difference I give you two words: “John McCain.”

If I had money to burn on betting, I would not fear a high-stakes bet against Herman Cain as the GOP nominee. I also predict the odds as very good that Cain will not be the VP candidate either. Why? Because Herman Cain and Obama are both black. As was the case with Obama, many hard-line right-wingers simply did not want Obama president because he was black. They don’t want him president because he is black. They want him gone from office because he is black. Other than not being a Republican, the fact that Obama is black is the major reason the right does not want Barack in the Oval Office unless he is sweeping the floors or taking out the garbage.

Sure, you will have your “enlightened” Republicans who don’t feel that way. I’m not talking about those who talk like adults when discussing politics.

Next month is November and soon it will be one year from that first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. If we are lucky, perhaps we shall know before Christmas who won the election. We have much head of us before that time arrives. And as ol’ Bob Frost said:

“And miles to go before I sleep

 And miles to go before I sleep.”

Ode to a pair of flip-flops

One may only imagine the rush of disappointment materializing after Googling or Yahooing or Binging and finding a blog with “Feet” in the title on which nothing appears exhibiting the slightest association with the foot.

Ahhh, the comfort. Like they're not there at all. Wait!!! They're not!

Although I am too lazy to count, I doubt very many posts during the past five years of this blog’s existence had to do with feet. Quite a few missives have presented quality examples of “foot-in-mouth,” as in someone — a politician or even me — putting their foot into their mouth. That isn’t to be taken literally, of course. Finding such flexibility requires an often exhaustive search.

So, if one has any interest whatsoever in feet, today is your day on my blog. Perhaps I overstate a bit. Today is the day I write a little bit concerning feet, footwear to be precise, sandals to be even more accurate.

Over the years I have become quite the fan of the flip-flop. Please, no jokes about John Kerry or any of the other many politicians who say they are for something before they are against it, or vice versa. In fact, I wore flip-flops before flip-flops were cool. That is even before Jimmy Buffett “blew out his flip-flop” in “Margaritaville.” Mostly what I wore back then were actually known as “shower shoes.” They were issued in Navy boot camp to prevent various diseases of the foot where groups of men showered. I continued wearing them throughout the Navy and quite awhile beyond until the same type of shoe became acceptable for outdoor wear.

Books I have read about the Vietnam War indicated North Vietnamese soldiers hiked for hundreds of miles with supplies while wearing flip-flops and other sandals made from tire tread. I don’t know if that is true or not. As is often the case with tales in general, some stories from wartime are told so much that they are taken as fact even if they started out as fiction or exaggeration. It is more than plausible though and a good reason to think a pair of good flip-flops made of sturdy material might prove to be durable footwear.

The summer and fall I took some post-graduate courses I would be chided by friends sometimes for playing hours of volleyball in my flip-flops. But hey, even though I might jump out of my sandals when I went up for a hit I would get the job done.

I have practically lived in flip-flops since my “retirement” five years ago. I speak of the time I have worked part-time while attempting to make money — a “living” would be a stretch — as a freelance writer. This does not include the time when I go off and do my part-time thing, when I have been out on a writing assignment or some other occasion requiring long pants such as freezing-a** weather. But other than that, yes, I have gone through some pairs of flip-flops such as the ones pictured on this page.

The wear has increased on my “flops” with the combination of my very sparse use of my walking and hiking shoes since I developed both foot neuropathy from diabetes and extreme lower back pain which may be pinched nerves from protruding disks or something completely different, as Monty Python used to say.

In the picture are a pair of Stone Creek flip-flops I bought at Academy. This is my second pair of this particular style. I also have two other pair of flip-flops, one made with leather and the other just a relatively cheap pair. If you notice the wear, on the pictured Stone Creek pair, one might assume they are comfortable. One might be right. Sometimes they feel as if they are not there. And sometimes, they’re not!

Combining the comfort with almost omnipresent numbness on the soles of my feet from neuropathy, it can sometime be difficult to tell whether they are there. I have had to ride miles and miles before to find one of my flops because I didn’t feel my foot coming out of it when I got inside an auto.

My nurses at the VA fuss at me for wearing flip-flops since I have diabetes. They are afraid I might hit something or step on something which could turn into an infection. I appreciate their concern. But a person has to have a little comfort in their lives. Flops are mine.