Who won’t run for president? Stink-foot, that’s who.

Bum bum bum. Another one bites the dust. Bum bum bum. Another one bites the dust. And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust …

By golly, if there is one thing we news consumers are learning lately, it is who is NOT running for president.

And another one gone and another one gone … Sarah Palin. Chris Christie.

And another one gone and another one gone …

And now, Rudolph Giuliani. Did we even believe he was going to run for president? Of the United States? He said it was too late. No kidding? Plus, did we really want to elect someone who appeared cross-dressing in public? I mean, Uncle Miltie could pull it off, well I mean, not literally, rather, he could get by cross-dressing and it was sort of a signature of his even though I didn’t think it was very funny way back then. I am talking about Milton Berle for those of you whose frame of reference is Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus. I am not saying cross-dressing isn’t always unfunny. Cpl. Klinger was pretty funny. And even Lucy. Let’s face it, one man’s cross-dresser is another man’s transvestite. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Now hopefully it won’t be very long before we see who is left in the last roundup of the GOP sweeps. I could be wrong, but I think Romney will get the nomination. Who will be Veep? That’s a bigger question and it may likely be some other rabbit pulled from a hat just as McCain did during the last rodeo with Caribou Barbie.

But just in case you have a need for further comfort, here is a partial list of the remaining folks who definitely 1,110 percent certain will not run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination:

Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Pope John Paul II

Grover Cleveland Alexander

Grand Duchess Anastasia

Dan’l Boone

René-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle

Fatty Arbuckle

John Wayne Gacy

Miley Cyrus

Richard Milhous Nixon

Col. Wilhelm Klink

Richard the Lionhearted

Lizzy Borden

Aunt Jemimah

Boo Boo Bear

The Right Honourable Harold Holt

Bigfoot

Stink-foot

Eight Feet Deep

Salamander Slim

Johnny Depp

Lil’ Bo Peep

There are many others who have yet to announce their non-candidacy for president. Let us congratulate them all and many thanks to the late Queen vocalist Freddie Mercury, the retired Queen bassist John Deacon (“Another One Bites the Dust”) and the likewise late Frank Zappa (“Stink-foot”), all of whom will also not seek the 2012 GOP nomination for U.S. president.