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CNN/Tea Party debate: Crawfish anyone?

As a resident of the bayou country of Cajun Texas I will confess that I have only seen crawfish swim backwards on TV. But I do know enough of the term “crawfishing” to know it means someone is backtracking on a previous statement.

Today I searched high and low to find someone saying Gov. Goodhair  Perry, good boy he is from the rolling plains of northwest Texas, did a little crawfishing of his own during last evening’s televised debate.

Perry was beaten up like a Sunday morning egg during the debate by some of his fellow Republicans who are seeking the GOP nomination next year. CNN cozying up, I guess, to the Tea Party co-sponsored last night’s debate with the TP in Tampa, Fla.

It is just plain flabbergasting that 10 more of these Republican gabfests will take place until March 5, 2012. I watched about half of the one last week and about a quarter of the one last night. I figure at that rate I surely will not watch any of the debate after the next one. The Sept. 14 debate will be televised on NBC. Well, I wouldn’t watch the debate on Sept. 22 anyway because it’s on Fox News Channel I have to organize my sock drawer that evening.

The aforementioned crawfishing by Ol’ Goodhair came about as he tried to explain to the TP and TV audience how he thought Social Security was a Ponzi scheme before he thought it wasn’t a Ponzi scheme. Are something like that. I’m still not sure what he was saying. At any rate, Perry seemed to backtrack when asked if he still thought the social income program was still a fraud after all the bashing he has taken for his reiterating that idea, plus the fact that he had a chance to redeem himself in Florida among the scores of retirees watching.

Perry said it was a “slam dunk” that Social Security was a “ …  program that’s been there 70 or 80 years, obviously we’re not going to take that away.” He never answered the question directly, of course, whether he still believed the program to be a Ponzi scheme. Had Perry come clean, he would have been thrown out of the Sleazy Politicians Guild. However, Perry badmouthed Social Security enough delivering his somewhat shaky answers and made it clear if he had a coyote named Social Security he would certainly shoot it.

Goodhair also got himself in a jam over an executive order he signed awhile back ordering young Texas school girls to be vaccinated for HPV, the virus known for causing cervical cancer. Now I personally come down on Goodhair’s side on this one, since it can effectively prevent this disease. I don’t like Perry’s dealings with lobbyists from the firm that makes the vaccine, including one of his former top aides.  I also dislike the fact that Perry said he only received $5,000 from the company and appeared indignant that he could be “bought for $5,000” when he receives millions in contributions. Last but not least, it is more than irksome to find out today that he actually got more like $30,000 from this company. But hey, $5,000 here, $30,000 there, after a while  you’re talking serious money.

It is all so tiresome that it makes me wish the General Election season was already here. At least I might, I say might because if Barry O’Bama doesn’t start getting some things done I might not, have someone to cheer for when that time comes around in about a year.

In the meantime I guess I’ll just have to sit back and eat a salad instead of the crawfish boudain I bought because anything crawfish is liable to make me think of Goodhair and that wouldn’t be too great on the digestive system.

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Texans shine in season debut; Indy sputters

Colts rout show they really need Manning; But does a recovering Manning really need the game?

Football season is here and I am pleased with that fact. Especially pleasing is that the NFL started playing this week since the league owners earlier lockout looked as if the season could be torpedoed. That is a whole different ball of string however and the important message to take away from this is — the Texans whipped Indianapolis like the proverbial rented mule.

A varied attack by ground and air along with a 79-yard punt return by Texans wide receiver Jacoby Jones helped Houston put 34 points on the board. Meanwhile, what appears to be a greatly improved defense from last year led by homeboy Wade Phillips — the Texans defensive coach and former Dallas head coach played high school football near here at Port Neches-Groves — limited the Colts to just seven points.

Of course, everyone and their hog points out: “But what about no Peyton playing for Indy?” This is while simultaneously Texans fans ask? “But what about no Arian in the Texans backfield?”

There is really no comparison there, of course. The Texans running back Arian Foster, who made the Pro Bowl in his second season after being an undrafted free agent, has been sidelined with a hamstring problem. Foster flabbergasted much of the sports world by sending out a copy via Twitter of his MRI picture of the injured hammy while Houston management looked upon the situation in a snit. Sending unauthorized medical information via social media is against team policy and rightly so because this knowledge can give the competition an edge. Would you say the no-no made Foster a “Twit?”

Peyton Manning is an entirely different subject. The future Hall of Fame quarterback has been sidelined after having cervical spine surgery, his third such operation, this time requiring fusion.

This is a surgery, known as an “anterior cervical discectomy with fusion” (ACDF), is something I know a little bit about as I went through the same procedure in 2001.

The ACDF is one of the more common spinal procedures. Manning called the surgery “minimally invasive,” which is correct, although the simplicity that the term implies should not be confused with the complexity of the operation and a patient’s healing. It is a safe operation with one study of 1,095 patients showing a morbidity rate of 19.3 percent. The majority of the complications in the study were esophageal-related, including difficulty swallowing. Hoarseness is a common complication, read on to learn the reason why.

A surgeon cuts a very small incision in a crease of the frontal neck. Using small retractors, the esophagus is pushed off to the side and the carotid artery and jugular vein are pushed to the other. The surgeon goes in to the C-spine and removes the herniated disc as well as compressive bone spurs or disc fragments. The neurosurgeon or orthopedic surgeon then measures the empty disc space and seeks a corresponding graft size to restore the disc space height. A bone graft is then tapped in and, as was my case and that of Manning, a small titanium plate is screwed into the vertebrae. This part of the surgery is performed in order to ensure stability and to promote bone growth and fusion.

One article I read about Manning indicated that his bone graft would be harvested from the iliac crest, the top outer portion of the hip. The graft may also be from that of a dead person. Since there are no blood vessels to intertwine, rejection is not a problem. Pain is a problem though. This same article I read made it sound as if the hip harvest is rare. It may be on the decline. I have no idea. But the incision and removal of bone from the hip is generally known as the most painful aspect of the surgery. I know my hip hurt for a couple of months. Although I won’t lie, when I awoke in recovery after the three-hour operation my neck hurt like that “10” in the pain scale doctors and nurses ask patients about. The recovery room nurse explained that the cornucopia of pain medicine I had been taking had delayed the effect of the super duper meds they had given me for post-op pain. Sure enough, after about 10 minutes of agony, it could have been two minutes for all I know, whatever they gave me kicked in and I felt normal again. Not fogged by pain pills just normal. That didn’t last, of course.

The surgery took me from work for two weeks and I worked half days on week three. I’d say I had recovered fully in about four-to-six weeks. I am no Peyton Manning so there is no telling how long it would take the great Indy quarterback to fully recover. All patients recuperate differently although certain motion ranges that Manning might need on the playing field could be limited. I am not saying they are or will be. I only base this statement on a small range-of-motion issue with my neck. This and other questions surface with regard to Manning’s immediate and long-range future as a quarterback.

Although my doctor said I could do anything I could do before I had surgery, I found this was not exactly the case. It was actually total bulls**t. I wouldn’t dare try to play either racquetball or volleyball as I had before. I did take up walking and hiking until a lower back problem cut that to shreds about a year ago. I also have had additional cervical spine problems. I have a herniated cervical disc that doctors will not operate on unless some kind of life-threatening issue surfaces. The trouble, they say, is there is not enough room to work since I have had both a posterior cervical laminectomy and the ACDF. The excruciating pain from the disc and related issues caused me a wide range of problems not the least being I must take the highly addictive methadone for pain control.

On the other hand, the surgery did fix my neurological problems which included an arm that had almost gone totally numb.

Having had this surgery, I could imagine that Manning taking a very substantial jolt from a linebacker who is 6’5″-280 lbs. could cause several different problems insofar as his C-spine is concerned. Some of these concerns of which I note can be particularly grave. But Manning, being the very sharp person that he is, has most likely had all of the “what ifs” laid out for him.

I could see Peyton Manning returning to the Colts. After Sunday’s loss to Houston, it’s obvious Indianapolis really needs him. But I could also envision his going out on the top of his game with retirement. Whatever goals he might have set for himself in professional football certainly are not worth the possibilities he could face now that he has had fusion surgery. The risks in pro football are just too great. I wish him well.

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Which Wich? Tasty sandwiches but eat them elsewhere

Maybe it speaks lowly of my entertainment level but I was excited to see the new Which Wich finally open in the Kroger Shopping Center at Dowlen and Folsom in Beaumont.

Not where I ate but an example of their bright though sometimes sterile interior.

I try my best to find a good sandwich that is not too laden with fat and needless carbs and sodium. That isn’t easy to do here in Beaumont, Texas, on the Upper Texas Coast, where you can go to the original Jason’s Deli or have a nice, fresh fried shrimp po-boy. Subways, we’ve got a few. More like we have enough Subways to build foot-long submarine sandwiches to the Sun. Don’t get me wrong. I like Subway and I appreciate that they give dieters a fairly decent variety of subs that aren’t too shabby. Even that variety isn’t enough though and that is a problem right here in River City, with a capital C that rhymes with P and that stands for “pulled pork.” Sorry.

All manner of sandwiches can be found here in Beaumont. But when it comes to restaurants which specialize in the sandwich, you are kind of SOL (Sandwich Out of Luck.) You’ve got your Jason’s, which I mentioned before, two of them. There is a Schlotzsky’s and a Wienerschnitzel and burgers out the Wazoo. We have a MacAlister’s. There were once two Quiznos and now there are zilch. I don’t know why. There are other little holes in the wall: Chuck’s Sandwich Shop downtown, which has a killer hamburger, maybe in more ways than one but I still like it; A fine gyro can be found at Endari’s Exxon on Gulf St. and I-10 East. There are others I am forgetting for sure.

So perhaps you can understand my excitement, or perhaps “enthusiasm” is the best word, over a new multi-sandwich shop. I think the best direction for a critique of this new place is direct. So here we gooooooo!

Food: I give it an “A.” Now I only ate one of their sandwiches out of one of their numerous categories. Mine was in the “Italian” group and was a grinder much to my order and liking. It was a very tasty mix of salami, pepperoni and capicolla on my choice of wheat bread which was toasted along with my other choices of provolone, deli mustard, light mayo, red onions, lettuce and pepperoncini. Looking later at the nutrition chart, if I had chosen the American cheese over the provolone, I would have had a grinder with 16 grams of fat as opposed to 19 grams. But hey, that wouldn’t have been right. This was an “Italian” sandwich and not an “American,” kinda sorta. The sodium was way over the top for me, which was to be expected along with the carbs at 54 grams from the wheat bread.

Not my grinder, but an image of the very tasty three-meat Italian sandwich.

Service: I would have to say “C.” First, if you have never eaten at this chain or particular place before, one finds a menu in the entrance way. Below the menu hangs above hoppers holding brown paper sacks. Printed on the sacks are the categories of sandwiches listed above on the menu such as chicken, turkey, ham, seafood, Italian and so forth. You take a sack and a little marking pen and check your choices for bread, size of the sandwich, toasted or not, extras such as double cheese or meat, then you “Work Your Wich” checking — at least in this particular store — off your pick from almost 10 cheeses, four mustards, three mayos, 10 spreads or sauces such as A1, BBQ, pesto, salsa, hummus and the like, six dressings, three types of onion, seven oils and spice and more than a dozen veggies. You can also orders these in a bowl with shredded lettuce and croutons.

Several people were along the line to help explain how to work the menu should this be your first time doing the Which Wich. Whether this is only for new stores I don’t know and I didn’t ask. I did the find these helpers to be just a bit pushy. Perhaps it was because of a growing dinner crowd, but I found their manner almost as much of a turnoff as seating, which I will discuss below. Once you make all your check marks, you then place your order and then your name is called, which in my case was in a more than reasonable amount of time. One does have to listen carefully though as it can be difficult to hear your name announced over the noise of the crowd.

ATMOSPHERE: No question, a solid “D.” The furnishings of this place give me the impression that you should order and get the hell out. There is limited seating. A few tables with backed-chairs are available but not many. There are several large tables with stools and a long aluminum counter also with a number of stools. Those stools. My oh my! Those stools are what gave me the most trouble in deciding between an D and an F. The seats are tiny in sitting area and have no back. If you have a big butt, or perhaps even a medium one and especially a bony one, I’d take my food to the comfort of my car, as was the decision I decided upon.

There is a fairly big TV hanging from the wall but I couldn’t see it because of the glare from the large restaurant windows.

Overall, I would have to give this place an A+ for cleanliness should I have chosen to make that a separate category because this place was doctor office clean. It was downright sterile.

Another big draw for me are several sandwiches specified on the menu as low-fat. A vegetarian choice also exists for those with such inclinations.

Which Wich Superior Sandwiches is a Dallas-based chain that appears from its Website to have about 200 franchises at the moment. The company’s founder, CEO and CVO (Chief VIbe Officer) Jeff Sinelli. The CVO had previously created and later sold Ghengis Grill, a Mongolian barbecue restaurant.

Sinelli says that he wants to “spread good vibes, in the form of superior service.”

 “We want you to walk away from our stores feeling 100% renewed, refueled, and satisfied,” says CVO Sinelli. “There’s no reason to have an inferior experience at a superior sandwich brand.”

It is a very bold guarantee for the growing franchise operation to make. They might just make this goal and I certainly hope they do. While I felt plenty renewed and refueled upon eating, I couldn’t give the entire dining experience a 100 percent just because of the service and seating issues. But definitely, I will be back, next time armed with nutritional information from the Web even though I might be tempted with another grinder because it was so good. I will just plan on eating my sandwich at home or in my car.

Which Wich Superior Sandwiches

3905 Dowlen Road

Beaumont, Texas

(409)892-9424

(409)899-4329 (Fax)

beaumontdowlen@whichwich.net

Hours: 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., everyday

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The GOP debate. For better and worse.

Who’d have thought that me, myself and I would all sit back last night and watch one of the millions of debates scheduled this year of the folks seeking the Republican nomination for president? Nothing to do, for sure? Well, it was a little political entertainment until the series finale of “Rescue Me” started. Oh, and it was a fine end to a fine series for Denis Leary and the gang.

No, actually I watched most of it because it is the only game in town right now. Even though our own Gov. Goodhair Rick Perry, touted war and fide as “the flavor of the week,” having the lock on the nomination, that’s still a little while off. We’re talking a few days short of a year away from Tampa where probably some of the silliest people in the world doing the silliest things and talking silly s**t will gather and crown whomever it was who had the lock for several months before.

Gov. Goodhair did not look indestructible last night. He and Mitt Romney seemed to crowd out the others but if the vote for debate winner last night was between the two candidates — and sadly it was — Mittens emerging the clear winner.

Here is my “Not close to best” to worst list:

1. Gov. Mitt “Mittens” Romney. He had a very good grasp on his idea of the issues. He was also able to fend off most cuts by the rest of the bunch. Unfortunately, he came off like some sort of Mormon robot called “Mr. Personality,” You know, in the same ilk as calling Yao Ming “Tiny.”

2. Gov. Rick “Goodhair” Perry. I have seen this guy way too many times although never in such a forum. He did a mostly good job of trying to convince the crowd and his opponents that he does not have transparent skin. He continues to make so many false claims, such as his boasting responsibility for the stellar job creation in Texas, that continue to go unabated. I guess you did have to give the duo of Romney and Richie Rich Jon Huntsman credit for pointing out their state’s job growth equaled or bettered Perry’s. All in all, Goodhair came off like the “Return of the Shrubman (Gee Dubya).”

3. Gov. Jon “Richie Rich” Huntsman. I had to give him some nickname and he is rich with wealth which runs in the family. He was the only candidate, at least in my not-so-humble opinion, with more sentences which made sense than the others. When I say “make sense” I speak both in diction and substance. That isn’t to say I’d vote for him. No way. I’m not one of those. (Republicans) Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

4. Rep. Michelle “Ma” Bachmann. Congresswoman Bachmann, remarkably, said little compared with the others. And what she said was not crazy rhetoric, she’s been getting a little somewhere by not whining her insane ideas and opinions. Perhaps during the next debate she might should say nothing at all. That could make her a winner.

5. Congressman Ron “Earth-to-Utopia” Paul. I called his office this afternoon. I just wanted to hear it from his folks that the Utopian Libertarian Ron Paul will be my congressman come Jan. 1. Good God Gertie what a grasshopper! But Paul said he will not seek another term after than. So we have him for, what, a year? We also are getting rid of “God and Texas Ted Poe.” That’s how he signs his mass e-mailings. I mean, how full of himself can one be? Well, with Poe, we’re talking a lot.

I don’t have a lot to argue with Ron Paul were his rants based in something other than a fairy tale Never Never Land. While Mittens and the others preach free market economics, Paul believes it. That, in itself, is all right. But very, very little of transforming his beliefs into reality is possible with our system of government. I can’t understand why he is congressman. It will be interesting to see him in (in)action when he is my congressman.

6. Herman “The Godfather of Pizza” Cain, savior of Godfather’s Pizza, was the one candidate to bring a couple of snappy PR ideas to the party. There was 9-9-9, a plan to do away with the payroll tax and enact flat individual, business and national sales taxes each at 9 percent. The other idea was to adopt Chile’s model of Social Security, which probably means taking the elderly out to be executed. No that’s not it. Read here. The truth is, if Barack Obama is not re-elected, you will likely not see anyone with dark skin (other than a nice tan) elected president for a long time. Too bad Cain is an African-American during this particular election.

7. Rick “Man on Dog“ Santorum. Rick didn’t say too much. Thus, he didn’t say too many things which were ridiculous and sanctimonious. He actually had a good debate due to his lack of speaking.

8. Newt “Eye of the Newt” Gingrich. The former Speaker of the House has seen his presidential bid sputter to just about nothing. In fact, I didn’t know he was still running for president. The only remark Gingrich made that was notable was his blaming the media for attempting to push Republicans toward emasculaitng one another.  I’d have loved to see that! It was a gratuitous, inane comment. Gingrich needs a nap.

 

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A curious case of “Pole Dancing”

Note: This was, as is my practice more often than not, edited online. If you read this and said “WTF?” before seeing this note, then that could be one reason. If you read this post after seeing this note and still say “WTF?” well, that’s the way the eight feet go deep.

There are times when something — some thing — appears so quickly and unexpectedly as well as makes so very little sense that one is perhaps too awed to be scared. This explains what happened to me this morning although I do admit to some quick fright.

I was driving from Beaumont to Nederland down the “Three-In-One Highway,” well, it should be called that because it is all U.S. Hwys. 69, 96 and 287 wrapped into one. To make matters more confusing the road veers off to another highway, this one Texas 347 which goes to Nederland, the Port Neches-Groves area and Port Arthur. I decided not to take 347 though and as I was just about to follow the exit signs I noticed electric cables which both ran across the highway and were strung along poles off the roadway were whipping up and down very rapidly. The cross arm of one pole appeared as if it were about to smash the Impala I drive for work as well as pound me in the process. During this whole episode, which may have taken less than 10 seconds, I saw something the size of a baseball but which was unrecognizable flying toward the windshield. I also could hear the UFO bang the car.

Immediately I pulled over after I was clear of the once-dancing pole and figured this must have taken place during a freak windstorm. That was even though I noticed no great amount of wind as I exited the car to see if any damage was sustained. There was no damage luckily. I looked back at the pole and saw the top half of it leaning at what I estimated was about a 25-degree angle toward the highway.

I figured I should call someone and let them know a pole was leaning toward the roadway and that the entire bunch of wires looked as if they might have fallen on me had I not stomped the gas pedal. First I called the police. This was not the 9-1-1 line but the office number and that turned out to be a colossally-poor exercise in communication.

The lady at the police station told me there had just been a wreck where I was. An 18-wheeler had hit an electric pole and the traffic was shut down, the police department person said. Well, not quite. It wasn’t shut down where I was and in the lanes where the “Leaning Tower of Electric Shock” bowed its crown dangerously toward some driver headed toward his or her shifts at one of the many prisons or refineries located just to the south of where I sat. I couldn’t make the police person understand that the pole could come off onto a car or the highway and dragging any number of perhaps hot lines with it.

Luckily, I was after a couple of tries, able to make the person with whom I spoke at Entergy-Texas — the local power company — understand the situation. They said someone would check it out. Since their repair people were probably in the area already, or at least on their way, I figured that someone would do something at some time. I also figured out that the bizarre show I experienced had something to do with the wreck on the other side of the highway, but which I could not see for myself. Always with the weird things I see!

On my return trip, the highway was backed up just north of Nederland as well as a good five miles from where the big wreck happened and the highway was likewise closed down just before an exit for a Farm to Market road near a cluster of prisons.

It turns out the wreck and, I have to suppose, the dancing utility pole on my side of the highway happened when a big truck carrying a large portable office building wrecked and took out six electric poles. That was the explanation of the wreck given by local TV station KFDM. Entergy-Texas said on their Web site that 169 customers in the area were without power and that electric service might not be restored until 10 p.m. this evening. The highways had been reopened but were about to be closed once again on both sides of Cardinal Drive between Martin Luther King Parkway and Hwy. 347. This information courtesy of a Beaumont Police Department press release. If traveling, bring your patience with you or else a designated driver.

The mystery of the great Southeast Texas “Pole Dancing” Festival is solved. I feel much better. Especially so since I am no longer on the highway or underneath any electrical lines.