The GOP debate. For better and worse.

Who’d have thought that me, myself and I would all sit back last night and watch one of the millions of debates scheduled this year of the folks seeking the Republican nomination for president? Nothing to do, for sure? Well, it was a little political entertainment until the series finale of “Rescue Me” started. Oh, and it was a fine end to a fine series for Denis Leary and the gang.

No, actually I watched most of it because it is the only game in town right now. Even though our own Gov. Goodhair Rick Perry, touted war and fide as “the flavor of the week,” having the lock on the nomination, that’s still a little while off. We’re talking a few days short of a year away from Tampa where probably some of the silliest people in the world doing the silliest things and talking silly s**t will gather and crown whomever it was who had the lock for several months before.

Gov. Goodhair did not look indestructible last night. He and Mitt Romney seemed to crowd out the others but if the vote for debate winner last night was between the two candidates — and sadly it was — Mittens emerging the clear winner.

Here is my “Not close to best” to worst list:

1. Gov. Mitt “Mittens” Romney. He had a very good grasp on his idea of the issues. He was also able to fend off most cuts by the rest of the bunch. Unfortunately, he came off like some sort of Mormon robot called “Mr. Personality,” You know, in the same ilk as calling Yao Ming “Tiny.”

2. Gov. Rick “Goodhair” Perry. I have seen this guy way too many times although never in such a forum. He did a mostly good job of trying to convince the crowd and his opponents that he does not have transparent skin. He continues to make so many false claims, such as his boasting responsibility for the stellar job creation in Texas, that continue to go unabated. I guess you did have to give the duo of Romney and Richie Rich Jon Huntsman credit for pointing out their state’s job growth equaled or bettered Perry’s. All in all, Goodhair came off like the “Return of the Shrubman (Gee Dubya).”

3. Gov. Jon “Richie Rich” Huntsman. I had to give him some nickname and he is rich with wealth which runs in the family. He was the only candidate, at least in my not-so-humble opinion, with more sentences which made sense than the others. When I say “make sense” I speak both in diction and substance. That isn’t to say I’d vote for him. No way. I’m not one of those. (Republicans) Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

4. Rep. Michelle “Ma” Bachmann. Congresswoman Bachmann, remarkably, said little compared with the others. And what she said was not crazy rhetoric, she’s been getting a little somewhere by not whining her insane ideas and opinions. Perhaps during the next debate she might should say nothing at all. That could make her a winner.

5. Congressman Ron “Earth-to-Utopia” Paul. I called his office this afternoon. I just wanted to hear it from his folks that the Utopian Libertarian Ron Paul will be my congressman come Jan. 1. Good God Gertie what a grasshopper! But Paul said he will not seek another term after than. So we have him for, what, a year? We also are getting rid of “God and Texas Ted Poe.” That’s how he signs his mass e-mailings. I mean, how full of himself can one be? Well, with Poe, we’re talking a lot.

I don’t have a lot to argue with Ron Paul were his rants based in something other than a fairy tale Never Never Land. While Mittens and the others preach free market economics, Paul believes it. That, in itself, is all right. But very, very little of transforming his beliefs into reality is possible with our system of government. I can’t understand why he is congressman. It will be interesting to see him in (in)action when he is my congressman.

6. Herman “The Godfather of Pizza” Cain, savior of Godfather’s Pizza, was the one candidate to bring a couple of snappy PR ideas to the party. There was 9-9-9, a plan to do away with the payroll tax and enact flat individual, business and national sales taxes each at 9 percent. The other idea was to adopt Chile’s model of Social Security, which probably means taking the elderly out to be executed. No that’s not it. Read here. The truth is, if Barack Obama is not re-elected, you will likely not see anyone with dark skin (other than a nice tan) elected president for a long time. Too bad Cain is an African-American during this particular election.

7. Rick “Man on Dog“ Santorum. Rick didn’t say too much. Thus, he didn’t say too many things which were ridiculous and sanctimonious. He actually had a good debate due to his lack of speaking.

8. Newt “Eye of the Newt” Gingrich. The former Speaker of the House has seen his presidential bid sputter to just about nothing. In fact, I didn’t know he was still running for president. The only remark Gingrich made that was notable was his blaming the media for attempting to push Republicans toward emasculaitng one another.  I’d have loved to see that! It was a gratuitous, inane comment. Gingrich needs a nap.