Author: Dick

The Iraq situation report given Congress earlier this afternoon by Gen. David Petraeus and Amb. Ryan Crocker was hardly surprising. Both pointed to gains being made since the surge of thousands of more troops. What did anyone expect them to say?

That is not to say Petraeus, the commanding general in Iraq, was “cooking the books” in favor of the White House as some on the left have charged. But Petraeus was chosen to lead after the infusion of troops because he generally supports the White House point of view with respect to the Iraq situation.

Listening in between the lines, however, it doesn’t really sound like things are all that much better in that war that should not have happened. Petraeus said he thinks troops can be back to “pre-surge” levels by next summer. What happens after that is really unknown, he said.

Crocker said he thought the administration’s goals in Iraq were “attainable,” but he clearly stated it won’t happen soon. In fact, he said we may not even know when the turning point would be until long after it happens.

I know that makes me feel much better.

Sometime last week I was riding along in my trusty Toy-ota and heard some kind of weird song on the radio. I say it was weird because my radio was tuned to Rock 103.7 FM and the music was far and away from the type of music that station usually played. I soon realized that the halfway decent Houston rock station was no longer a rock station for it had been Jacked.

Cumulus Media switched formats on me. What was Rock 103.7 had suddenly become Jack FM. It is described in the linked article as a “eclectic, iPod shuffle-like” format. Jack FM plays what they want to play, at least that’s what they say.

Apparently its a popular format in both Canada and the U.S. It plays music without the non-stop talk of deejays who may or may not know what the hell they are talking about, which is a good thing. But since it is so eclectic there naturally will be any number of tunes you won’t like, which is not particularly a good thing.

Since listening to Jack FM I have heard, of course, Led Zeppelin, but also Prince, Stevie Wonder, Hot Chocolate, Bee Gees, Kelly Clarkson (I think). It is a real cornucopia of sounds, a place one might hear Stevie Wonder’s gritty rock “Living for the City.” But one might also hear “Mandy” by Barry Manilow (Sorry for the link. I guess I just have a mean streak.) I don’t know for a fact they would play Manilow but theoretically at least it is something one might hear.

The jury is still out, as far as I am concerned, on Jack FM. But living in what is a really disappointing radio market, I’m game for something different. But the first time I hear “Mandy” …

Do you ever wondered what happened to Old Spice? I did and I don’t know why. I haven’t worn aftershave lotion in a dog’s age but do seem to remember Old Spice was the first such “smellum” I splashed on my face.

The Old Spice TV commercials years ago featured some old mariner coming from the sea and whistling a certain catchy little tune. Or maybe I’m just making that up. I don’t know.

But alas and ahoy matey, it seems Old Spice is still around and is using that magic tool called the Internet and another magic tool called sex to sell their toilet water. Send someone an AhoyGram mate. Shiver me timbers.

Isn’t there an easier way to do this?

Happy Labor Day. Have you rounded up all your hidden colored eggs yet? Oh, that’s … uh … Easter.

No Labor Day is not a holiday on which we give gifts or shout hosannas or hunt Easter eggs. In fact, many people in the U.S. spend the day doing nothing or at least nothing of major consequence.

That is not to say that having a cook-out or party or a day on the bay or lake aren’t ways to make said day enjoyable. But in the grand scheme of the world, your water skiing or the fact you caught a five-pound bass today hardly ranks up there with fighting a war or working on an ambulance or even washing dishes in the local diner. But what do you care, right? Right. That’s the point.

It is nice to have a day — one which also symbolizes the end of summer — on which we don’t have to tote that barge or lift that bale and you can take a little drink and …

An article I read yesterday reflected upon how closely Americans identify with their jobs and noted how Europeans think it curious upon visiting the U.S. that the first question an American will ask you is: “What do you do?”

Many people work to earn a living while others feel that their job somehow will make them whole. Many love their jobs. Many hate their jobs. While I would not go so far as to say a little hard work never hurt anyone, most people realize what benefits — beyond salary and fringes one may receive from a job — love it or hate it.

The worst job I ever had was moving mobile homes. I did this one summer as an off-duty job when I worked as a firefighter and was not going to college during the summer semester.

Under old mobile homes, especially, all sorts of arachnids and who knows what else can be found. And just because it was “in the shade” under a trailer did it mean a cooler place would be found during that stifling East Texas summer.

One particular odious task was placing concrete block “pads” down on which a trailer would rest. We had one customer who wanted us to take these heavy pads and bury them with the top of the pad level with the ground. It was most difficult moving the pads and digging and placing the pads in the ground because of limited clearance between the bottom of the trailer and the ground.

Once I decided to take some vacation time from both my firefighting job and moving trailers. My now deceased friend Waldo was looking for something to do back then and I managed to get him hired as my substitute with the trailer moving company. It turned out that I quit the mobile home job soon afterwards. Waldo, who had a master’s degree at the time, continued moving pads and other tortuous tasks for several months.

My friend related a story that kind of sums up the work experience in our country. He said he was working on a particularly hot day planting those pads under a trailer. Taking a break, he said he shook his head and told the boss: “There must be an easier way to do this.”

“There is,” his boss replied, “get someone else to do it.”

Greetings one and all. It appears to be or not to be raining outside, which is outside the Barnes & Noble store in Beaumont, Texas. I am sitting in a corner at the Starbucks inside the store but had to pass on any of its coffee or whatever that is they serve. Hey, a lot of people like Starbucks’ coffee and some don’t. I don’t. To me their coffee tastes like the bad medicine I used to take as a kid. I suppose it’s not that bad but enough, you know full well by now my feelings about Starbucks.

Surfing, I found the Wikipedia sites for all three local TV stations: KBTV, Channel 4; KFDM, Channel 6; KBMT, Channel 12.

The entries are interesting, providing histories of the stations and listing present and past “on air personalities.” Need I remind one to take Wikipedia with a grain of salt (or a shot of whiskey, or yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.) Where did that come from?

It was interesting skipping (running, walking, crawling, hopping) down memory lane. Memory Lane runs straight into Blackout Avenue.

This makes me sound incredibly old (gather round children and let granpa fill you full of bulls**t) but I remember the first TV my family ever received. I lived up in the boonies about 60 miles from where I now reside. There were only two TV stations we could receive back then: KFDM and KPAC. KFDM is in Beaumont. KPAC, which was located then in Port Arthur, is now KBTV. Its studio is now in Parkdale Mall, also in Beaumont.

It’s fun to go up to the window during a newscast and make funny faces at the anchors. Or sometimes someone will fake a heart attack and everyone including the anchor and the weather guy will quit what they are doing and call 911. Remember what I said in the first sentence of this paragraph?

I have always found local TV news and, sometimes local TV “on air personalities,” a peculiar institution. Some local TV news is incredibly bad and some is good. I would hesitate to rank the local stations just because I might run into some of these people and they might give me an ass whupping. Ass whupping. Isn’t that a marvelous expression?

Of the three though, I will say Channel 6 is the best even though one of their reporters needs a new ‘do. I won’t say which one.

While we are on the subject of local TV news, what about that new reality show on Fox, “Anchorwoman?” I saw the first episode and it left me scratching my old bald head. What are these people thinking? Taking a model off the streets and turning her into a TV news anchor is a very bad idea. I can’t believe Phil Hurley, the general manager of KYTX in Tyler, Texas, would do something such as this, a move which could eventually devastate local TV news. I mean, reporters aren’t particularly admired in general these days, and I think Hurley has potentially put the local TV news business on the road to ruin. But what can you say, they have a “weather dog” named Stormy. I guess that’s show bidness.