Author: Dick

Spaceman John Glenn lands upon the planet Meathook and asks butchers to take him to their leader.

Here is an analysis of what is making headlines today, July 3, 2006.

From Associated Press:
Crack found in foam on shuttle fuel tank
I don’t think I would want to fly on a space shuttle if people are smoking crack.

From The East African:
Mogadishu holds its breath
Then lets it out and holds its breath once more as residents of the Somali capitol tries for landing in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for mass breathing.

From the Austin American-Statesman:
Senators want to limit ruling on terror battle
Say what? What battle?

From National News Nine:
Asteroid may pose danger to Earth
Earth people should practice panicking in case the asteroid hits within the next hundred or so years.

From Australian IT:
Multimedia laptops slug it out
Dell XPS Notebook suffers bruised chip in street melee with MacBook and aging Compaq Armada.

And finally–

From Reuters India:
Double fiesta as both sides claim Mexico vote
win
U.S. sends Kathleen Harris to sort out Mexican presidential election. Mexican borders overrun by American lawyers.

Do squirrels ever have a fear of heights?

With the Fourth of July upon us, my thoughts turn to what is likely the most unhip type of music one can think of these days — marches. And marches, to me, are synonymous with John Philip Sousa, the March King.

Here I must confess that I truly like marches. Unlike most other music genres, I have loved marches since I was a kid. What little marching I did in the Navy was truly livened when march music was played. It was definitely better than a cadence call: “Sound off one-two-three-four-just-kill-me-now.” Which somehow leads me back to Sousa.

John Philip Sousa was this nation’s first pop music superstar and he became such a figure before he ever recorded his marches. Incidentally, Sousa wasn’t too keen on the budding recording industry. He told Congress in 1906:

“These talking machines are going to ruin the artistic development of music in this country. When I was a boy…in front of every house in the summer evenings, you would find young people together singing the songs of the day or old songs. Today you hear these infernal machines going night and day. We will not have a vocal cord left. The vocal cord will be eliminated by a process of evolution, as was the tail of man when he came from the ape.”

I wonder how Congress took to his evolution reference?

Sousa did leave behind some recordings such as those that can be found on Internet Archive. These recordings of the Sousa Band, his band after he left as conductor of the U.S. Marine Corps Band, are scratchy. But I think that adds some flavor to the recordings.

Among those jewels to be found in these recordings are “The Washington Post,” march (Yes, the newspaper) as well as “Stars and Stripes Forever,”(the official national march.)Also in these interesting recordings is “The Liberty Bell March.” For those of you unfamiliar with the name of the piece, it is the music played during the credits of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus.” Spam, spam, spam, spam …

Sousa was a truly a renaissance man of the late Romantic era. He wrote operettas and novels, was a world-renown trap shooter and a horseman, according to a piece about him on Wikipedia.

That same article kind of paints him as somewhat of an oddball who was into the mystical aspects of Freemasonry. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m not a big midi fan but some above average midi versions of Sousa marches can be found on a page that pays tribute to Masonic composers who along with Sousa include Mozart and Haydn.

John Philip Sousa gave America a wonderful gift with his marches. His story is definitely worth checking out.

Bashing Prez Gee Dubya might have alienated some of the more ardent country fans of the Dixie Chicks. But the rest of the world could give a crap. The evidence is that their newest album “Taking the Long Way,” has gone platinum, according to this from a PR Newswire release:

“Four weeks after its release on May 23, Taking The Long Way, the highly-acclaimed new album from the Dixie Chicks, has achieved a platinum (for sales of 1,000,000) certification by the RIAA, bringing the group’s career total up to 41 gold, platinum and multi-platinum certifications, including two RIAA Diamond Awards.”

Not only was their latest release at the top of the “Billboard” charts upon its debut in the U.S. but the album also topped music lists in countries around the world. It peaked at No. 1 in Sweden and No. 2 in Australia.

The Chicks ticked off many of their Fox News-watching, George W. Bush-loving, and Toby Keith-adoring country-western fans when singer Natalie Maines exclaimed during a 2003 concert in London that she was ashamed to be from the same state as Gee Dubya. Never mind a sizeable number of Texans feel the same way. The Chicks suddenly became pariahs of the right.

That their latest album has found success both at home and overseas raises these possibilities 1)Many people worldwide love the Chicks. 2)Many people across the globe hate George W. Bush. 3)Many people on Earth love the Chicks and hate George W. Bush. 4)Many people throughout the world love the Chicks and don’t care one way or other about their political leanings.

So to those people who think they are hurting the Dixie Chicks by not buying their music or attending their concerts, just go on thinking that. That will just leave more albums and better seats for those who like the Chicks for what they are. And that’s apparently quite a number of people worldwide.

Vivi the whippet show dog remains missing four months after she escaped from a cage at JFK airport in New York. Reports from those who may or may not have sighted Vivi continue to this day, but she appears to have seriously pulled off that old Houdini.

At first thought it might seem as if Vivi might have met with some terminally unfortunate circumstance. But a host of reasons exist as to why Vivi may be alive rather than dead.

Perhaps someone doesn’t read the paper or the Internet or pay attention to the TV news. There are people like that you know.(Sometimes I wish I was one of those people.)Let’s say this fine-looking but tuckered-out whippet came up to the door of some person who fed Vivi some scrumptious groceries and the dog decided to stay on for awhile.

A slight possibility does remain that Vivi was dognapped and that the culprits are just waiting for the right time to spring the ransom request on Vivi’s folks. That doesn’t seem that likely, however, given that four months have already passed.

Another scenario that came to me was that Vivi may have struck out on her own for home in California. Dog walkabouts aren’t all that uncommon. Some dogs have been known to take off from home and return years later. There even have been instances reported of dogs traveling a few thousand miles home.

Dogs are only one of many animals with an uncanny homing instinct. I have never seen any explicit scientific information as to how animals find their way home. Some speculate it has something to do with the Earth’s magnetism, or the ability for animals to use celestial navigation. Others even believe dogs and other animals have a psychic ability that will lead them home.

Interestingly enough, scientists found earlier this year that homing pigeons just follow the roads on short trips back and forth from home. These scientist found this out after they placed global positioning system devices on the birds and studied their pathways.

Who knows, maybe Vivi just wanted to see some of the country rather than fly over it in a little box. I think many of us might identify with such a desire. She may be trotting along down Route 66 as we speak. I’d like to think she was anyway. Be safe Vivi.