Author: Dick

It was my dad who told me that lyrics in the Mexican folk song, “La cucaracha,” contained references to smoking marijuana. A few years later a friend and I were driving back from the Texas Pelican Club, across the Sabine River in Vinton, La., and were giving three sailors from the Mexican Navy a ride to the old Navy base in Orange, Texas. The sailors were quite full of spirits and were singing “La Cucaracha.” Since they only spoke Spanish I couldn’t quiz them on the meanings of the lyrics. Plus these sailors were s**tfaced,

For whatever reason some 30 years later I never really thought about the words to the song, at least so much as to look up what the words mean, until now. Thank God and Al Gore for the Internet.

As folk songs are traditionally passed from one folker to another folker, you might not be surprised to know that the words are not always uniform from one song to the next. Es verdad with “La Cucaracha.”

But both on Wikipedia and The Straight Dope I found similar verses:

“La cucaracha, la cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Marihuana que fumar.”

The above verse comes from the Wikipedia entry. The only difference being The Straight Dope lyrics spells the drug “marijuana.” The police also seem to favor it spelled with an “h,” while the monks who write the AP Stylebook say with much authority that marijuana it is spelled with a “j.” You say potato, I say tomato.

Lyrics in translation from these sources say:

“The cockroach, the cockroach
Now he can’t go traveling
Because he doesn’t have, because he lacks
Marijuana to smoke.”

That translation comes from The Straight Dope while Wikipedia says “lacking” rather than “lacks.” Again seis de uno, media docena del otro. I always thought the verse said: “Marijuana por favor.” I guess they were misheard lyrics such as “Scuse me while I kiss this guy” which wasn’t what Jimi Hendrix was singing in “Purple Haze.”

Both Wikipedia and Straight Dope articles offer interesting theories as to what the song is about, that is, other than a grounded cockroach who is like the heads use to say: “dry.” Some stories point to the song being directed to Mexican president Victoriano Huerta, who held office from 1913-1914, and reportedly liked that “wacky tobacky.”

I think Cecil Adams makes a good and funny point about the song being a nightmare for those promoting tourism of Mexico. After all, it is a well-known song even if gringos don’t know the words or what they mean. But then I imagine tourism can be a hard sale in Mexico these days what with the immigration hysteria and the narcoterrorism taking place in border cities such as Nuevo Laredo and Juarez.

Whatever. I just wonder how one might tell if a cockroach is stoned?

You have to wonder whether some people are as inept as they seem. It’s as if a big cosmic side-view mirror has been held up to the world that says: “Warning: Incompetent people are closer than they appear.”

I realize that what may look like incompetence may just be stupidity that is not masked very well. And sometimes people are just assholes.

Be that as it may, I am sure a little of all those above characteristics may fit those responsible for the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs employee taking his computer home and having it stolen along with data for more than 26 million veterans including yours truly. At first the VA said only names, birthdays and Social Security Numbers were all the data contained in the files. Now it turns out to be a little more than that, according to the VA:

“This data contained identifying information including names, social security numbers, and dates of birth for up to 26.5 million veterans and some spouses, as well as some disability ratings.”

But you can be sure your Bush administration is on the case — led by VA Secretary and former Republican National Committee chairman Jim Nicholson. How do I know they are on the case? Why they said so:

“The VA is working with members of Congress, the news media, veterans service organizations, and other government agencies to help ensure that those veterans and their families are aware of the situation and of the steps they may take to protect themselves from misuse of their personal information.”

They just didn’t say WHEN they would be working with all those entities. The VA made no pronouncements on the theft of the data until three weeks after it happened. Of course, given how long it takes to be seen by a doctor in some of the VA facilities, I guess it makes sense.

Sometimes you just wonder how society has come as far as it has.

I thought I would check in. A lot of turmoil is bubbling around in my life today. It’s got to get better or else it will get worse. Say what?

I less than do not care that Brangelina just had a baby in Namibia. I mean, good for them. But it is not like little Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt is the first baby to be born ever.

But always on the lookout for something to ridicule, I came across a story about how new dad Brad Pitt cut the umbilical cord. That also isn’t the first time it has ever happened. But the fact that he was signing autographs in the delivery room while doing it … That story led to this story from the Tanzania Standard that looks at angle of the Brangelina birth as a mechanism to boost tourism in Namibia. I have to admit that’s something I would have never considered.

“Come to Newborn, Ga., to have your newborn. It’ll be just peachy.”

I was a bit confused reading the Tanzanian online article and couldn’t figure out why at first. Finally, it dawned on me. The first mention of Pitt is, well, in this sentence:

“By law Shiloh Nouvel — the daughter of Ms Jolie and Brand Pritt — will be entitled to Namibian citizenship.”

Two paragraphs later it is Mr. Pitt rather than Mr. Brand Pritt. Two paragraphs after that it still is Mr. Pitt. But in the next paragraph:

“Mr. Pritt, who was together with Ms Jolie throughout the holiday, is also a Hollywood celebrity.”

Apparently, a lot of people in Tanzania don’t see Brand Pritt in the movies.

I also found it interesting that the Namibian tourism minister said the Pitt-Jolies have decided that Shiloh Nouvel will only have citizenship from Namibia and not a dual citizenship. I’ve not seen that reported elsewhere although that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Nevertheless, the baby will apparently be offered a Namibian passport which I am sure will come in handy some day.

Okay little Shiloh Nouvel, just close your eyes and tap your heels together three times and think to yourself: There’s no place like home, There’s no place like home…”

Two young Mormon guys stopped by this morning to ask me something about Christ or Joseph Smith or some religious figure. I was kind of busy and told them I didn’t want any religion today. But I did compliment them on how white their white shirts were.