Author: Dick

Will Alberto come calling this summer or fall? What about Beryl or Chris or Nadine or Tony? These are among the names for the 2006 Atlantic hurricanes. Nadine? Tony? Oh well, the names really don’t mean anything until they become real storms and make a major intrusion into your lives as Rita did in September 2005.

Here is the prediction for the 2006 hurricane season made in April by preeminent hurricane researcher, William Gray and his associate, Philip J. Klotzbach, both of Colorado State University:

“We estimate that 2006 will have about 9 hurricanes (average is 5.9), 17 named storms (average is 9.6), 85 named storm days (average is 49.1), 45 hurricane days (average is 24.5), 5 intense (Category 3-4-5) hurricanes (average is 2.3) and 13 intense hurricane days (average is 5.0).”

That sounds rather dismal. I have searched high and low for a prediction for the 2006 season by NOAA, of which the National Weather Service is a division, and cannot find one. Perhaps it was because of their prediction for the 2006 season:

“NOAA’s prediction for the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season is for 12 to 15 tropical storms, with seven to nine becoming hurricanes, of which three to five could become major hurricanes,” said retired Navy Vice Adm. Conrad C. Lautenbacher, Ph.D., undersecretary of commerce for oceans and atmosphere and NOAA administrator, at a May news conference.

As most of you know, it didn’t work out that way. There were a record 27 named storms, of which 15 were hurricanes, exceeding the 1969 record of 12 hurricanes, and 7 were major hurricanes. Of the 7 major hurricanes, an unprecedented 4 reached category 5 status, also according to NOAA.

I’m not faulting anyone. Guessing what will happen during hurricane season is a little more exact than shooting craps. I hear a lot of people around these parts — Southeast Texas — who fear we will have another bad hurricane season. I guess people have a right to worry after Rita.

On a more personal level, I suppose the question for me was the same one I asked just before Rita came blowing ashore — the old Clash question: Should I stay or should I go?

It turned out that Rita blew with about the same force here in Beaumont as it did in Newton County, to the northeast and next to the Texas-Louisiana state line. My apartment complex in Beaumont sustained very minimal damage. My brother’s home, where I rode out the storm, also did not suffer damage but he had six large trees that were blown down in his yard by Rita. And his shop, the first house I lived in as a child, had a large oak fall on it, damaging the roof.

But you know what they say about hindsight. It’s what keep horses from betting on people. No. Wait. That’s what they say about common sense, or at least what I read once in “Mad” magazine.

It is definitely not too early to be thinking about such matters as evacuating in the event another hurricane decides to strike the area. But I didn’t make a decision about evacuating because of Rita until the day I left. Should the unthinkable happen again, I can’t be sure my decision will not have similar timing.

A. Packer in the pen. Did he ever say human flesh “tastes just like chicken?”

“One sure way to gain immortality — no matter how hopeless your social and monetary strata — is to eat somebody else.” — ‘Roadside America’

That piece of wisdom has stuck with me during the 7 or 8 years since I first read ‘Roadside America.’ Now branched out to the Internet, the books and site show the bizarre side of American tourist attractions. That includes our own local mention: “The World’s Third Largest Fire Hydrant.”

After having lunch, and for whatever reason, I decided to revisit the story of what ‘Roadside America’ calls “America’s Favorite Cannibal.” That would be good old Alferd Packer. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, here is a brief synopsis:

Packer and a group of other prospectors set out in 1873 to find gold in the San Juan Mountains of Colorado. In January 1874, the prospectors hung out in Chief Ouray’s Ute camp where it was suggested they stay until Spring. But Packer and five others couldn’t wait and left the camp in February with less than two week’s worth of food. The group of men were not heard from again, with the exception of Packer who emerged a couple of month’s later with some of the men’s wallets.

Soon, Packer confessed that the weather had grown fierce and the other men died either from exposure or from fending off attacks from others who had grown hungry. Only the strong survive, I guess he might say, and Packer dined upon his fellow travelers.

In April 1883, Packer was convicted of murdering one of the five men, Israel Swan. What would have been fitting at his sentencing was a pronouncement by the presiding judge that has long been legend:

“When yah came to Hinsdale County, there was siven dimmycrats. But you, yah et five of ’em, damn yah. I sintince yah t’ be hanged by th’ neck ontil yer dead, dead, dead, as a warnin’ ag’in reducin’ th’ Dimmycratic populayshun of this county.”

Unfortunately, this tale of Packer as a GOP cannibal was only legend for the judge’s words turned out to be much tamer and bipartisan in sentencing Packer to hang. But hang, he didn’t.

An appeals court granted him a new trial a couple of years later on the basis that there was no state murder statutes when the crime(s) occurred because Colorado was a territory and not a state. Picky, picky, picky. He was retried and served 16 years before being paroled.

Quite a case was made over the years that Packer was innocent, or at least pretty hungry. Law professor James E. Starrs of George Washington University assembled a team of scientists in 1989 who exhumed the bodies of the supposed victims. Three of the bodies appeared to suffer blunt trauma to the head and some other nicks were found that were supposed evidence of skinning some of the victims. There was no total agreement but Starrs said there was sufficient evidence to prove Packer was indeed like Hall and Oates said: “a maneater.” Or so I have read.

Gee-Dubya stands by his man Gen. Michael Hayden.

“Stand by your man.
Give him two arms to cling to and
something’ warm to come to
when nights are cold and lonely.
Stand by your man.
And show the world you love him.
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.”

The feds, unlike the Verizon guy, may not hear us now. But they sure as hell know who you called.

A story in today’s “USA Today” revealed our buddies at the National Security Agency have tens of millions of phone records that were handed over from major phone companies including Verizon, AT&T and Bell South. I guess the NSA wants to check on all those calls they somehow didn’t get around to tapping into.

Of course, Incurious George (GW for short), says we just are targeting terrorists. Damn. Do terrorists make tens of millions of phone calls? Better go to Cingular and get better deals on nights and weekends. Here is actually what GW said this morning in response to this latest bombshell:

“We’re not mining or trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent Americans. Our efforts are focused on links to al Qaeda and their known affiliates. So far we’ve been very successful in preventing another attack on our soil. As a general matter, every time sensitive intelligence is leaked, it hurts our ability to defeat this enemy. Our most important job is to protect the American people from another attack, and we will do so within the laws of our country.”

That is, within the laws of our country as GW sees them. It seems he has his own special interpretation of the laws.

The latest revelation about domestic spying is making folks on Capitol Hill nervous — elections coming up and all. Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., vowed to haul the heads of the telephone companies in front of Congress for a chat. Good luck. I hope he has better luck than he did with the weasel attorney general, Al Gonzales, who bobbed and weaved from every constructive question in February Senate hearings on the NSA warrantless surveillance program.

Amb. Joe Wilson, wife of outed CIA agent Valerie Plame, once said he would like to see Karl Rove “frog-walked” out of the White House in handcuffs. I’d like to see a whole line of folks frog-walked in handcuffs with GW and Tricky Dick Cheney at the front of the line.

Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen makes an interesting observation on the so-called interactive media. I don’t happen to agree with his original ire-provoking column in which he opined that Stephen Colbert was not funny during his bit at the recent White House Correspondent’s Association Dinner. I think Colbert was hilarious. Brutal, perhaps, but funny and possessing some acerbic and pointed observations. I also think Cohen sounds like he is whining in this column, but I can forgive him for that transgression.

When the paper I used to work for first began placing our phone number and e-mail addresses in a “shirt-tail” below our stories, I thought it pretty much sucked. I did manage to talk my boss into exempting the police blotter from the practice, as I was then the police reporter and was just inundated with people bitching about this and that. (“My boy ain’t guilty!” “That accident wasn’t my fault!”) It was pretty much self-serving central. Eventually, I came to accept the practice of the shirttail as a necessary evil. It was becoming the norm in the business. It did on occasion produce some decent story tips. But I still didn’t like it because I would say it was a good 80-20% that someone was bitching, calling you an idiot or worse, and usually didn’t have the guts to put a name to it either by phone or e-mail.

So I can relate to Cohen’s complaint about a digital lynch mob. It is an unfortunate byproduct of what is wonderful technology, the Internet and e-mail. But, sad to say, such discourse does not mean the result is always thoughtful commentary.