Hey Alferd, what's for supper?


A. Packer in the pen. Did he ever say human flesh “tastes just like chicken?”

“One sure way to gain immortality — no matter how hopeless your social and monetary strata — is to eat somebody else.” — ‘Roadside America’

That piece of wisdom has stuck with me during the 7 or 8 years since I first read ‘Roadside America.’ Now branched out to the Internet, the books and site show the bizarre side of American tourist attractions. That includes our own local mention: “The World’s Third Largest Fire Hydrant.”

After having lunch, and for whatever reason, I decided to revisit the story of what ‘Roadside America’ calls “America’s Favorite Cannibal.” That would be good old Alferd Packer. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, here is a brief synopsis:

Packer and a group of other prospectors set out in 1873 to find gold in the San Juan Mountains of Colorado. In January 1874, the prospectors hung out in Chief Ouray’s Ute camp where it was suggested they stay until Spring. But Packer and five others couldn’t wait and left the camp in February with less than two week’s worth of food. The group of men were not heard from again, with the exception of Packer who emerged a couple of month’s later with some of the men’s wallets.

Soon, Packer confessed that the weather had grown fierce and the other men died either from exposure or from fending off attacks from others who had grown hungry. Only the strong survive, I guess he might say, and Packer dined upon his fellow travelers.

In April 1883, Packer was convicted of murdering one of the five men, Israel Swan. What would have been fitting at his sentencing was a pronouncement by the presiding judge that has long been legend:

“When yah came to Hinsdale County, there was siven dimmycrats. But you, yah et five of ’em, damn yah. I sintince yah t’ be hanged by th’ neck ontil yer dead, dead, dead, as a warnin’ ag’in reducin’ th’ Dimmycratic populayshun of this county.”

Unfortunately, this tale of Packer as a GOP cannibal was only legend for the judge’s words turned out to be much tamer and bipartisan in sentencing Packer to hang. But hang, he didn’t.

An appeals court granted him a new trial a couple of years later on the basis that there was no state murder statutes when the crime(s) occurred because Colorado was a territory and not a state. Picky, picky, picky. He was retried and served 16 years before being paroled.

Quite a case was made over the years that Packer was innocent, or at least pretty hungry. Law professor James E. Starrs of George Washington University assembled a team of scientists in 1989 who exhumed the bodies of the supposed victims. Three of the bodies appeared to suffer blunt trauma to the head and some other nicks were found that were supposed evidence of skinning some of the victims. There was no total agreement but Starrs said there was sufficient evidence to prove Packer was indeed like Hall and Oates said: “a maneater.” Or so I have read.

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