Author: Dick

Judge John Roberts

It’s the last time I trust the Washington rumor mill. Ha! Only joking. As you may or may not know, President Bush nominated U.S. Court of Appeals, District of Columbia, Judge John Roberts to succeed Sandra Day O’Connor on the Supreme Court. Thus, all the speculation about a somewhat moderate woman candidate is obviously kaput. He’s definitely another white guy, but also being another white guy I don’t suppose I should hold that against him.

Where he stands with respect to interpreting the law versus party politics is something I guess we will just have to find out if he is confirmed by the Senate. What Senate Democrats will do is probably what Senate Republicans will do — bloviate. Anyway, the big day for GW has come. How many more justices he gets to nominate only time will tell.

I just hope there isn’t a repeat of the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings. I don’t think I drank Coca-Cola again after that for a long, long time.

The Supremes

I know, I know, Richard Pryor’s quote didn’t last 24 hours. It is because I was visited in my sleep by the ghost of English teachers past. Of all the grammatical blunders I’ve made in my life, the one of which I am least guilty of committing is a double negative. You know, like in the Pink Floyd song “Another Brick in the Wall:”

“We don’t need no education … “

Perhaps not but if you had the English teachers I had you certainly wouldn’t use the words “don’t” and “no” in the same sentence. Pryor’s line is spoken in character and thus is funny. But somehow I just have this aversion to using the DN. Damn English teachers!

I chose the new quote because a)It kind of fits my philosophy of writing, and b)the buzz is making the rounds this morning that President Bush could name his choice for Supreme Court justice to replace Sandra Day O’Connor. Justice, get it? Oh well. It will be interesting to see who Bush chooses. A lot of speculation is going on that he will name a woman and that woman may be Edith Brown Clement of the Fifth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans. The Fifth handles federal appeals cases for several states including Texas and Louisiana. Clement is known to be a strict constructionist but might be palatable to Democrats because of her stated willingness to recognize the Supreme Court’s decision on Roe v. Wade.

But the right wing should fear not. There is still a lot of time left in the Bush administration for another justice to retire or die and for the president to appoint a raving-ass nut job. Also, picking a Supreme Court justice has proven to be a little like forecasting hurricanes. They may appear predictable but appearances can be deceiving. A number of justices who were picked by a president of one party may often vote, God forbid, their interpretation of the law rather than the party line.

We never know what that wacky U.S. Senate will do either. So it could be some pretty good political theater. Or else, some wretched political crap. It all does depend on your point of view, Lou.

Pryor not dead yet
We go from the bizarre world of the late Richard Brautigan to the equally bizarre world of Richard Pryor for our new saying. Do I have a thing about the name “Richard?” Well, I happen to know this guy named Richard. He’s really an okay guy once you get to know him.

The latest saying comes from Pryor’s “Mudbone,” the wino philosopher, in a rich tale ranging from a trip to Peoria from Tupelo, Mississippi, on a tractor (on one tank of gas) to the voodoo lady Miss Rudolph (like the reindeer)who had a monkey’s foot around her neck and a three-legged monkey. That monkey didn’t give her any trouble, by the way.

That routine never ceased to make me explode with laughter. The same can be said for a lot of Pryor’s work. I think the line about not getting to be old by being a fool is kind of instructive, especially coming from Richard Pryor. The man endured a truckload full of obstacles in his life — some of his own making and others not — that probably would have beaten down or killed many other individuals.

His biography starts with his being raised in his grandmother’s brothel in Peoria. He was raped as a child, then later molested by a priest. Pryor endured segregation. He later became a drug addict, set his self on fire, had two heart attacks and finally in 1986 was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Man, talk about your material!

I guess humor helped Pryor transcend a lot of his demons. And that humor has brought me no small amount laughter over the years. For that I am eternally grateful.

MS has left Pryor unable to perform anymore. But he points out on his Web site that while being down, he is still not out. Or as he so eloquently puts it:

“I ain’t dead yet muthaf****r!”

It is encouraging to know that insane people are so well represented in the U.S. Congress. The problem is that these representatives probably don’t realize just how disturbed they really are. My example is Republican U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado.

All the while that I thought Tancredo was a one-trick pony with his obsession over Mexican immigration, little did I realize that he apparently considers himself an expert in strategic military issues as well. An example is an exchange Friday with radio talk show host Pat Campbell on WFLA in Orlando, Fla. Campbell asked what the U.S. response to a nuclear attack by terrorists should be. Here is what old Tom Tancredo said:

“Well, what if you said something like – if this happens in the United States, and we determine that it is the result of extremist, fundamentalist Muslims, you know, you could take out their holy sites,” Tancredo answered.

“You’re talking about bombing Mecca,” Campbell said.

“Yeah,” Tancredo responded.

What a brilliant man. Such an act would transform a small number of extremists into millions of extremists worldwide. What a total idiot.

Tancredo, who some say may be a presidential candidate in 2008, later released a statement that he was just throwing ideas out there. Next thing you know he’ll be favoring a pre-emptive strike on the Mormons in Salt Lake City.

What is it about certain days that bring on cravings for particular dishes? I’ve got my mind on étouffée and these thoughts will surely not disappear until after I cook and stuff myself with this wonderful entree.

Although I love Cajun food, I have not cooked a lot of such dishes until recently when I moved back to Cajun Texas. It’s laziness, I suppose and on these hot days I want to just get in the kitchen and get out. But I did find a recipe for étouffée that I decided to try and it was so good it would make you slap your grandma. That’s just an expression for shock value. I would have never slapped my grandma although my dad, her son-in-law, was surely tempted on a number of occasions.

I found the recipe on a Web site called The Gumbo Pages and found it is an excellent site to read up on Cajun culture and cuisine. I chose the shrimp étouffée route over crawfish because I am a lazy slob and would rather be drowned in a roux than have to go to more than one grocery store per shopping excursion. And to find decent crawfish tails — at a decent price — around here would mean I would have to actually shop, God forbid.

It was an enlightening experience deciding which étouffée recipe to choose. I settled on the Marc Savoy variety, although as I said I used shrimp rather than crawfish. I say enlightening because I never really gave much thought about what went into étouffée. But it is a relatively simple dish to cook and if done correctly pays off in a meal in which your taste buds will perform cartwheels and perhaps roll over and play dead for more!

Fortunately, the first time I made the étouffée I hit a ringer. I don’t always do that trying something new. Hopefully, I will be able to duplicate those results later this evening. If you don’t hear from me again you will know something didn’t go right. I know this is a dangerous mission but somebody’s got to do it. So wish me luck! Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.