Author: Dick

Ground Control to Major Tom: Get out before you hit that comet!

If all goes well a “Deep Impact” will take place on the Comet Tempel 1 at 12:52 a.m. CDT. Here is how NASA puts it:

“Deep Impact will probe beneath the surface of Comet Tempel 1 on July 4, 2005, when the comet is 83 million miles from Earth. After releasing a 3-by-3-foot projectile called an “impactor” to crash onto the surface, Deep Impact’s flyby spacecraft will collect pictures and data of the resulting crater. Scientists suspect that frozen within comets are the same chemical building blocks that lead to the formation of water — and life — here on Earth.”

Frankly, I’m glad this all taking place 83 million miles away because I don’t think we are yet old hands at crashing into comets. That is unless you are talking about the Mercury car called the Comet. Deep Impact is supposed to be making a hole about the size of a football stadium. But with even with a washing machine-sized projectile it is going to be quite a bang.

I don’t know if life exists on other bodies out there in the universe. I tend to think so more than not. Just in case there are life forms out there and they can read this, I would just like to say: “Greetings from Earth. This can happen to your planet too!”

No. Seriously, we earthlings have an insatiable curiosity. And while curiosity killed the cat,(you know, furry things that go ‘meow?’)I would ask in the spirit of inter-universal harmony that you outer space dudes and dudettes not try something like Deep Impact at home. Or, more importantly, I would ask that you not try something like Deep Impact here on Earth. It might ruin someone’s day. And you wouldn’t want to do that, would you?

You do some pretty strange things when you’re in this nation’s military. I think about the “vert rep,” or vertical replenishment that I was told to participate in when I served on the destroyer U.S.S. Agerholm back in the late 1970s.

The powers that be had pretty arbitrary rules about rank when it came to doing certain jobs or having certain privileges on that ship. I joined the ship as a petty officer third class, or just barely a non-commissioned officer. I made E-5, or second class, on the way back from overseas. So we get the word one day in the Pacific that all E-4 and below were needed on deck for a vert rep. That is where a helicopter flies over your ship and lowers supplies onto the ship. The sailors unloaded said supplies and formed a human chain to get the supplies to its storage space. This one was the first of two vert reps in which I was involved. The second one was with a helo delivering ammunition for the 5-inch cannons onboard. Well, you think a warship needs that so even though the shells were about 50 pounds each I could understand the need. But the first vert rep was different.

I don’t recall the vicinity we were in that day but I do know the seas were on the rough side. So much so that for the vert rep we were sent out wearing life jackets. It had to be really important to send a night out on a dog like this, right? Yeah. Turned out we unloaded case upon case of Dr. Pepper. I never did go to the Dr. Pepper Museum the entire seven years I spent in Waco. I wonder if the vert rep was the reason? I risked my life for “pepper upper” for my shipmates.

The military is weird that way. So for all those guys and gals risking their lives, whether it be on patrol in Iraq or Afghanistan or unloading soft drinks in rolling seas, I say: “Thanks.” That’s my little patriotic July 4th message to the troops who are just doing the job they took an oath to do. I took my oath with a picture of “Tricky Dick” Nixon staring down at me. Nixon was commander-in-chief when I entered boot camp and Jerry Ford was president when I graduated from recruit training. So, no political message. Just a heartfelt thanks to the men and women of the armed forces who do our heavy lifting.

KBTV-TV radar picture at 7:09 p.m. CDT

I heard the unmistakable rumble of thunder a couple of minutes ago. It’s funny because when I watched the local weather 45 minutes ago it didn’t seem as any heavy weather was headed our way. Such is the nature of the thunderstorms that can normally pop up just about anytime around these parts during the summer.

Having access to near real-time radar on your desktop is just too cool. After seeing Cowboy John do the local weather on Channel 4 when I was growing up, I wanted to be a weatherman. But as Bob Dylan says: “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.” So I did other things with my life.

Weather is just an awesome part of nature to me though. After seven years of the big intense thunderstorms I experienced while living in Central Texas, I became less edgy about turbulent weather. I now have a better appreciation for what my friend, Barbara, told me one time as a severe storm that had spawned tornadoes approached. She said storms were neat because they were one thing that man had no control over. God knows man will try his best to control them. With that said, I am not totally stupid so I will move away from the window as the storm seems to be getting closer. And I think I’ll shut off the computer for a little while.

“Ah yes, in one pocket is snake-bite medicine and in the other pocket is a small snake.”
See ya Shelly. Hello W.C. Fields. He is just one of those people who, though dead, can make me laugh by just thinking of him. I just can’t picture him in today’s celebrity-driven culture. He is so yesterday and that is what is great about him.

I think about celebrity and it brings me to Tom Cruise. I obviously have nothing against people speaking their opinion, wrong-headed, pig-headed and totally ignorant those opinions may be. But I think Tom is going a little overboard with his Scientology rants against using medicines such as anti-depressants. I don’t know if he was ever depressed. I hope not and I hope his vitamins keep him from such a fate. Because I’m here to tell you, depression is no picnic. It’s scary. That’s about the best I can describe my experiences with it.

W.C. Fields didn’t seem to take himself seriously and by doing so he helped contribute to the health of many others through laughter. I never have found Tom Cruise particularly funny but he certainly seems to take himself seriously. I guess that’s show biz.

Heh-heh-heh-HEH-heh, indeed

Normally I like a little quiet time when I first wake up, get my morning coffee and fire up the old computer. This morning my quiet was assaulted by the drilling of a woodpecker. It sounded like the danged thing was boring into my outside wall except I know they really prefer trees to brick dwellings. I mean it was loud and obnoxious and really pretty funny. Its hammering was so noisy that I felt as if I had been trapped inside some 50s Woody Woodpecker cartoon. Just about the time I decided to grab my binoculars and go take a look at this disturber of peace, it stopped.

I’m hoping that the woodpecker does not do that anymore. I don’t mind sharing the neighborhood with it. I like woodpeckers. As far as I know, they like me, or at the very least have never attacked me like a mockingbird appeared to do the other day.

I was out for my morning walk and this mockingbird dove at me like it was going bomb me or perhaps peck out my eyeballs. It made at least two runs at me. I thought: “This can’t be good.” Then it flew away just as quickly as it had flown toward me. I’m glad it was just one and not a skyfull like in the 1963 Alfred Hitchcock film, “The Birds.”

I just never know what is going to happen. I hope some kitten doesn’t decide to take me out.