Barney relieved of duties

Katrina response problems take White House toll. Miss Beazley promoted to First Dog.
Reacting to growing criticism over the federal government’s response to the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, White House officials announced President Bush has replaced Barney as First Dog.

White House sources say the president asked Vice President Dick Cheney to deliver the news to Barney on Friday that “he was toast.” Barney reportedly did not take well to the news.

“Since dogs can’t say f*** you, Mr. Cheney, Barney bit the vice president’s right ankle and held on for about two minutes until Secret Service agents removed the dog from Mr. Cheney’s leg,” said a high-placed administration source who asked not to be identified, “because Laura would really be pissed.”

A reason for Barney’s firing was not immediately given by the Bush administration. However, the high-placed source said he believed it had something to do with “eating federal disaster recovery plans left on my, oops, I mean the president’s, desk in the Oval Office.”

Tension between the First Family and First Dog had been growing in recent months, according to another White House source.

“During a family breakfast in Crawford last month (co-First Daughter)Jenna accused Barney of cutting one,” the official said, referring to the dog passing gas.

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