Bye bye baby


Flying is a tough gig these days. Just ask Garren Penland. During a stopover in Houston while flying with his mother on an Express Jet plane, Garren, 19 months old, and his mother were kicked off the aircraft because the kid kept saying “Bye bye plane.” Apparently, the flight attendant who had the mother and toddler removed was irritated by the tot’s talking while safety instructions were being given.

A flight attendant union spokesman on today’s CNN’s “American Morning” laid the whole episode to the skinflint airline industry’s refusal to loosen up some bucks for safety training, as well as the industry taking away pensions and requiring the attendants to sit on the wing whenever their in-flight chores are completed.

Readers should be warned that at least two sides to every story happen with the frequency of Halley’s comet. By the way, I dreamed about Hale-Bopp last night. It was quite an amazing comet, the only one I ever viewed without a telescope. That being beside the point, more may have been involved in the story about the baby being tossed out of the plane with the bath water. For instance, perhaps the kid really said: “Bye bye Plane. Go boom!” or “Bye bye plane. Adios MoFo.” One never knows.

Some day the truth will probably come out about the Garren incident. Then I’m sure there will be a made-for-TV movie, Garren lunchboxes and T-shirts that say: “I got thrown off a plane and all I get is this lousy T-shirt.” Make mine an XL,in blue if possible.

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