Can you smell that smell?

Jesus, did you do that? Posted by Hello

A friend sent by e-mail yesterday an alert from a local TV station in her area about an upcoming report that night on the “smells of the Savior.”

Apparently, a craft shop in Vidor, Texas, called “Adalene’s,” is selling candles called “His Essence” that claim to smell like Jesus. Now just how Jesus smells is the next logical question. The company that manufactures His Essence says the fragrance was derived through the Bible (what else? I’m sure Jesus left no marketing brochures or scratch-and-sniff samples upon his disappearance). The South Dakota company that makes the scent describes it this way:

This 14-ounce wax jar candle is hand poured with a hand set paper core wick. The scent was inspired by Psalm 45:8 – “All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia…”. The candle will burn for 80 to 100 hours emitting the pleasant and gentle fragrance. Each purchase will receive an attractive and informative His EssenceTM bookmark.

The bookmark is a nice touch. Will your books all smell like Jesus as well?

I do not claim to be a theologian. And I am certainly not a Jesus, although I played one as a little kid. But I have my doubts about what Jesus smelled like during those days before Right Guard and Old Spice. And if you were truly the Messiah, why would you even care how you smelled? I suppose it wouldn’t be pleasant for Jesus to hear people were saying behind his back: “Here comes the stinky Savior.” But if you’re God why give a damn? It’s not like B.O. is going to lose you an election as Savior to George W. Bush, unless in the unlikely event Karl Rove somehow gets to Heaven.

Also, I think the TM is kind of lame: “His Essence.” Maybe it’s even a bit on the pornographic side if you get my drift. And what other types of Jesus products might we expect? Jesus pen sets? Page Christ on your Holy BlackBerry? God, I Can’t Believe This is Butter? Where does it all end?

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