Car names that will drive me away

A Kia Optima is struck by a gigantic powder puff.

Kia, South Korea’s second largest automobile manufacturer, is building its first American plant. I am sure that is good news for West Point, Ga., the site of the new assembly plant. But I am not so sure what that means for the rest of us.

I’ve driven a Kia before. It was kind of tight, as in a tight fit. They may be perfectly sound automobiles. Kias may be the reincarnation of white bread. But the name bothers me. Kia. In the military KIA is an acroynm for killed in action. I never felt attracted to an automobile that reminded me of violent death. I guess I’m just funny that way.

Of course, if you can get past Kia there are always the plethora of Kia models with spiffy names like the Optima or the Rio. It seems like automobile manufacturers just grab any old name out of the air these days to name a new model. Really weird stuff like the Depletionairre, or the Snuffster, or the Lucifera, or the Loser. Hey Loser! What ya drivin’? I’m driving a Loser.

If you are what you drive, then I don’t think I am quite ready to connect with a new Kia.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *