Man, there are Cajuns everywhere!

Yesterday I was waiting to have my name called for a nurse visit at the Beaumont (TX) VA Clinic. I listened to the cacophony of people’s names shouted out by folks in Primary Care mixed with those attempting to yell louder from the laboratory or X-Ray for patients. Soon, it hit me like a ton of boudain. This place has Cajuns up the wazoo.

A nurse would yell for “Mr. Breaux.” Then someone would holler “Mr. Led-ger,” her pronunciation for a Mr. Leger, which is most times spoken as “Lay’-jhay.” With those folks found, on the intercom came “Mr. Melancon please go to the pharmacy.”

I suppose I had me what us pseudo-intellectuals like to call an “epiphany.” I don’t know what my Cajun friends might call it, maybe an “epiphany.” Me, the pseudo-intellectual might say: “I had an epiphany this morning but I lost it in a paradigm shift.”

The northern part of Southeast Texas is where I was raised. I now live in Beaumont — the largest city in Southeast Texas if you don’t consider Houston as Southeast Texas — by way of Mississippi, the Western and Southern Pacific, as well as East and Central Texas. Now I must clarify the terms “East Texas” and “Southeast Texas.”

Folks down here in deepest Southeast Texas consider Jefferson, Orange, Newton, Jasper and Hardin counties as Southeast Texas. Okay, maybe even Tyler County. Now if you extend the boundaries of Cajun Country from the most southwestern Louisiana parishes into Orange and Jefferson counties, one might have to say the boundaries of Southeast Texas also include Calcasieu and Cameron parishes. Of course, we are talking cultural boundaries here.

I had a chief petty officer from Dallas who was master-at-arms, kind of like the head of the security guards, when I was stationed in Mississippi. We would argue to no end about what was and what isn’t in East and Southeast Texas. I said I was an East Texan. Because we didn’t have alligators and chemical plants where I grew up. But the chief said, “No that country is Southeast Texas.” After all these years, I have to say the chief was right (as always.) If geography didn’t make me a Southeast Texan, then I suppose demographics finally did.

We didn’t have many Cajuns where I grew up in northern Southeast Texas. Oh there were Cajun folks there. I had some good friends whose grandma spoke Cajun French. That was pretty exotic though. What happened was that some of the crackers in South Louisiana who saw the Cajun people as some kind of second-class folks. The Cajuns weren’t even  allowed for many years to speak or learn Cajun French in school. Then in the late 60s, a cultural revolution that hit the rest of the country came to Louisiana. And, in the intervening years, many Cajun folks had moved to Southeast Texas, for jobs related to the petrochemical industry and shipbuilding. The latter being mostly during World War II and the former after the war.

When I moved back to the Golden Triangle — Beaumont, Port Arthur and Orange — I had to learn to pronounce many of the Cajun names I didn’t otherwise know. Why names like “Thibodeaux” and “Fontenot” (“the place is buzzing,” ‘ol Hank Williams sang.) take up considerable space in the “Greater Beaumont Area” phone book. Along with names like Chavez, Hernandez, and others I tried to correctly say I have somehow become at least partly apt at taking a spoonful out of the ol’ melting pot.

Some 40 years ago, I didn’t even know what boudain was, much less pronounce it. I remember when Mr. Latiolais (pronounced by him as “Latch’-o-lay,” some others with that name have different ways to say it) came to town and opened his supermarket called “Latch’s.” That was my first exposure to boudain and I fell in love even though some say “Ecchh” or “Nasty stuff.”

I have seen the Cajun culture grow in Southeast Texas, and around the country and even the world. Of course, we are part of Cajun Country even though we are Texans. So, yeah, there are quite a few Cajuns here. I am glad there are. I couldn’t imagine a world without Cajun cuisine or Cajun waltzes or Zydeco music. I know both states come with its baggage. Some of those first bags were made of carpet and we still see those types though they hide their bags. But this area of the country has become a much richer place to live.

 

 

The Barbecue State. It’s not just Central Texas.

Okay. I don’t have much time. That’s because I am hungry and I have a wonderful chicken plate from Broussards Link and Ribs in the fridge. It’s ready for me to eat and my stomach says: “Ya better do it quick, Mr. Smarty Pants EFD.”

Well! I never thought I was a smarty pants. As a matter of fact, I only wear pants when I work for the gub’ment. Well, that doesn’t mean I run around without anything covering my lower torso like Porky Pig. I wish I could. Seriously. But I can’t.

Texas barbecue has been handed this stereotype. It is all beef. And it is not very good unless it comes from within a 100-mile radius of Austin. Hooey.

I did my time in Central Texas. There are some particularly great BBQ joints. Waco had several that were good both in atmosphere and meat: Uncle Dan’s, Michna’s, Mamma & Pappa B’s, Jasper’s. In Llano, Cooper’s has wonderful eats from beef to cabrito. And yes there are the shrines to barbecue in places such as Taylor and yes, Austin. But Texas is a big state. It’s got different styles of barbecue all over. Best ribs ever for my money can be found at the Country Tavern, between Tyler and Kilgore.

We have our own style of barbecue in Southeast Texas. It’s hard to describe. Just shut up and eat! Broussards in their little green shack off 11th and Washington in Beaumont is a great place for all sorts of barbecue meat. Just go at a time when there aren’t lines waiting. They also have a place off Fondren and Sam Houston Tollway in Houston. Just down Washington from Broussards is another barbecue institution. Patillo’s has long been a favorite of mine. They had a place on 11th and McFaddin that I probably visited more often than my weight required when I lived near there in Old Town. But they paved paradise at put up something there, a Jack in the Box, or whatever. And then there was one. Greatest links imaginable at Patillo’s.

I could go on. There is good ‘que everywhere in Texas. You just have to know where to look.

 

Ad boys, ad boys, what’cha gonna do?

The eagerly-awaited season premiere of “Cops” — that is, eagerly awaited here in Beaumont, Texas — may just as easily been renamed “Ads.” You know, as in: “Ad boys, ad boys what’cha gonna do, what’cha gonna do when you bore us blue … ”

Spike TV’s long-running live police show, part-docudrama and part “reality” series, previewed last night with two of our local officers featured in what the Cops Website said was a 3-minute, 26-second, segment. Really? Because it seemed shorter than that. Maybe it was because the show was basically one long foot chase punctuated by TV commercial, after TV commercial, after TV commercial, etc., before the next short segment featured another department and its officers in some similar police situation.

I don’t know the officers who were on the segment last evening. At least, I don’t recall the officers. The fresh faces kind of all look the same to be truthful. I’m sure some folks said that about my fire academy classmates and me after we began riding those big red trucks. The only difference was that hair, at least some hair, was in vogue back in the day. The hairless dome look is popular these days, especially among the male police population. Not that I am complaining. I have the same look. The two policemen were engaging enough and didn’t smack the perp with a flashlight or Taze him once the “actor” was in custody.

Now I admit that I liked the opening scene for the Beaumont segment which starts with a shot of downtown from a view looking over the Neches River. The scene pans along the river and includes the 17-story Edison Plaza building, which if nothing else, will catch your eye when passing through town on Interstate 10.

The substance of the Beaumont Police segment was actually pretty tame all things considered. Actually, the city has enough mischief happening that might fill an hour-long program without the pesky commercials. Just in the last 24 hours, for instance, there were five people shot in three separate incidents. Luckily, at least according to media reports, none of the victims suffered “life-threatening” gunshot wounds. I have staked out way too many police scenes, and hardly does such a scene possess the minutes of action necessary for sustaining a docudrama such as Cops. For instance, the time when the police stopped me while walking to a local bar and then threatened to arrest me for walking on the wrong side of the road exhibited no real drama except for that which was going on inside my brain. I can sometimes lose my cool, I am told this stems from depression, and the results isn’t always pretty. Fortunately, I have always maintained my cool when faced with a situation that might result in that dreaded clanking of steel doors behind me.

I hope more scenes from our fair city are highlighted on Cops. It is nice to see familiar spots on TV even if they are populated by criminals. For my TV consumption, that is about the only way I would watch the show except perhaps adding sheer boredom as a reason. The problem with Cops is you’ve seen it all before. That is why it was finally dropped by Fox TV and now maintains a much lower presence beyond syndication. I mean, how many times can you watch some methed-up pendejo with his shirt off and his drawers showing?

And finally, commercials. I know a show must have commercials to survive. There is no doubt about this. But I would bet many, many viewers other than myself “go off” when six or seven ads are piggy-backed and the substance results in a top-heavy commercials-to-program ratio.

So I say good job to the Beaumont officers in the starring role on Cops. They didn’t embarrass out community nor themselves. And everyone made it home that day. Well, I don’t know about the fleet-footed perpetrator. But something tells me he didn’t spend a lot of time in the Jefferson County Correctional Facility.

Paying tribute to a couple of Cowboys, one well known and another …

We lost a couple of much admired cowboys from our Southeast Texas area over the weekend.

O.A. “Bum” Phillips, best known as Houston Oilers head coach during it’s “Luv Ya Blue era,” died Friday. He was 90.

John Garner, 82, a Southeast Texas TV icon who played “Cowboy John” on the local “Circle 4 Club” from the late 1950s to 1972, died Sunday evening.

Phillips died on his ranch near Gonzales, Texas. He was probably was as well known for his cowboy hat and his homespun sayings as a grid iron genius. But many who loved the Oilers of the “Luv Ya Blue” era loved Phillips as well. The love for the ball club came to a screeching half when, Bum having been fired and hired by New Orleans, would soon see the Oilers moved by owner Bud Adams to Nashville. Adams, who coincidentally died today, was not as beloved by Houston fans as Phillips, to say the least

Certainly, not as many folks knew John Garner as Bum Phillips. But thousands from back in those days knew Cowboy John as well as John Garner the Channel 4 weatherman.

Perhaps Cowboy John indeed has a place in national TV lore. Although, if that is so, it is likely to be verified only by friends and relatives of the real John Garner. But it matters not from where the laughs and smiles we remember came from. In any event, goodnight Cowboy John, wherever you are.

Will it rain? Will it not? Do you really care?

Mr. TV Meteorologist said summer may be nearing its end here. That’s a pretty bold statement although I have seen Septembers with fall-like temperatures down here on the Texas Gulf Coast. I’ve also seen hot-ass Septembers here. I remember mid-September 2005. Hurricane Rita came calling. Folks went without electricity from a week’s time to a month. No A/C except in your car. Hot sucka!

The same TV weather god says a low pressure mass in the Gulf may give us a good bit of rain starting at the end of the weekend. The National Weather Service keeps going back and forth on the percentages. I hope the weather guy is right. I think we need a good soaking.

I hope you don’t have plans this weekend that get flooded. If you do, make the best of it. Get some movies. Get your favorite food and adult beverages. Or just sit out on the porch and watch the rain. It a good form of meditation. Enjoy!