Get the gator oil, all you fine young cannibals. The ‘skeeters’ have gone wild.

Early French and Spanish explorers who punched their clocks and set out to ramble through the upper Gulf Coast of Texas left stories of encountering fierce and, at times, foul-smelling natives.

These Indians, some of whom were named the Atakapa, were said to eat their enemies which is only understandable given the band’s name was a Choctaw derivative for the word “man-eater.” The foul-smelling part — something one might handle in exchange for not being dinner — was from alligator and other types of animal grease and oil to ward off mosquitoes.

The chemical mixture DEET would certainly work just as well as alligator oil, one would assume, yet I had no idea yesterday morning when I left home and crossed the Neches River for Orange that I would be swarmed by mosquitoes. I mean, it’s February, you know.

The salt marsh mosquito. Look for the white-banded legs. Yeah. Photo - Jefferson County Mosquito Control District

My part-time work requires casual business attire of which I am relatively certain one would find unattractive with a heavy smearing of alligator oil. Now I could have found alligators with a little scouting yesterday, as I was in Orange County, Texas. The county bordering southern Louisiana has plenty of marshes and an abundance of river bottom, the latter due to the county being bordered to the west by the Neches River and on the east by the Sabine. Although one might find an alligator with a bit of hunting it doesn’t mean that one should just walk up to one of the fearsome-looking and rather dangerous reptiles, stick in an oil spout and expect the gator’s bodily fluids to freely flow. Or at least that wouldn’t happen without a serious tussle with the animal.

Of course, stopping into a corner store and purchasing a can of Off for an inflated price would be a lot simpler solution and one much safer than trying to drill for alligator oil. Yet I didn’t plan to stay out of my car for a very long period of time so why bother with the time and money spent? Well, maybe to prevent having the mosquitoes bite the crap out me would be one consideration.

The upper Texas coast and that of Southern Louisiana is currently experiencing an outbreak of mosquitoes due to the drought-relieving rains and warm winter weather of late. Being bitten by swarming mosquitoes isn’t a pleasant experience. I know, because the damn things have bitten me all my life growing up in Southeast Texas. But their bite also isn’t like the sting of a wasp or yellow-jacket. I’ve had more than my share of those bites too.

Growing up, I used to sit enthralled seeing the city’s red Jeep come through my neighborhood with a fogger in the back of the vehicle puffing out great clouds of DDT. Sometimes kids would jump up and follow behind the Jeep and its magic skeeter-slaughtering clouds. Of course, we knew nothing of the harmful effects which we would learn later about the chemical. Then again, neither did we know much — or at least think much — about the diseases spread by the pesky little mosquitoes.

Stories of malaria were, to me, just another war story my Uncle Ted told about his time during World War II landings in the Pacific islands. Yellow fever was a disease that killed a bunch of folks building the Panama Canal. As I got a little older in childhood I started hearing stories about “sleeping sickness” which mostly killed horses but would take a little kid’s life every now and then. It would be much later that I heard of “West Nile Virus” and just how much havoc the mosquito once wreaked upon our area of the Texas Gulf Coast and the world at large. For instance:

For a little historic perspective, about 100 residents of Beaumont and Sabine Pass — in my county — died from an 1862 outbreak of Yellow Fever. The late Southeast Texas historian W.T. Block wrote that the epidemic emanated from a Civil War blockade runner that had made it into the estuary of Sabine Pass.

If there is good news about the influx of skeeters as of late it is that most are the pesky “salt marsh” mosquito which are not carriers of West Nile. The Jefferson County Mosquito Control District says the medium-sized brown mosquitoes are distinguished with white bands on their legs. The mosquitoes are

 ”  … very aggressive biters, both day and night. The eggs are deposited in rice fields, fallow fields, & pastures in any depression that will hold water, including hoof prints. These mosquitoes are attracted to Beaumont and other areas in the western half of the county by the glow of lights at night, which are easily seen from as far away as Fannett or China (Texas) We try to intercept these mosquitoes on the edge of town as they migrate in. Residents can do nothing to help us control this species.”

Personally, I try not to look at the mosquitoes any longer than it takes to swat or smash them. I therefore don’t search for bands on their legs. Also fortunate, they seem to be pretty slow and are pretty easy to slap away.

On the list of supplies to take along on my next trip for work will be the can of Off. I can it place the needed spray in the trunk right next to that cold-weather blanket that I don’t need. I guess if all else fails, perhaps then might be the time to search for a gator.

 

 

A cautionary tale about walking across interstate highways, as if such caution was necessary.

A traffic jam greeted me after work this afternoon just as I was exiting Interstate 10 for 11th Street. Our city is 80 miles from Houston but we have no amenities such as traffic updates on the radio telling us what’s ahead or where we should detour.

It was rather automatic, though, that I knew any kind of major accident in the general vicinity of where I was at the time would have major traffic repercussions. That is because right past my exit is a “Y” in which traffic may either continue west toward Houston on I-10 or north toward the Beaumont shopping district and the ‘burbs of Hardin County as well as the Pineywoods of East Texas on U.S. Hwys. 69/96/287. The first and last road will also take you to Minnesota and Montana, respectively. The middle one ends in Tenaha, Texas, for whatever reason.

That is a very troubling interchange normally, mainly between say 4-6 p.m. This is mainly because the “rush hour” traffic not going toward Houston is caught up in a mess due to several reasons, not the least being that the three highways and those feeders in its vicinity are obsolete when near Parkdale Mall and the large shopping area built around it. All the surrounding roads there have much more traffic than they can handle. Should a major accident occur within the city limit on either I-10 or the “Eastex Freeway,” as the confluence of highways is called, a bottleneck is likely to take place.

Setting the stage for what can happen with traffic when an accident happens on either freeway, there is also the possibility that someone could be seriously or even fatally injured. That is apparently what was causing the big bottleneck this afternoon as I drove to the crib from work.

Preliminary police and media reports indicate a woman was struck by an 18-wheeler while attempting to cross Interstate 10. This was a fairly short distance from where I stay. The reports say the woman received serious or perhaps even critical injuries.

I have no idea how often people are struck by motor vehicles while they are trying to cross interstate highways but even one is too many. It should be needless to say that it is a very dangerous feat to attempt. I’ve done it more than I ever wanted to do or should have done when I would access a wreck scene while working as a reporter. This was on Interstate 35 in Central Texas. I would not have even attempted such crossings had not traffic been considerably slowed by the wrecks. The cops always expected us, whether they liked it or not. I would always wait to cross in front of an 18-wheeler because they were crawling along at the slowest speeds of all oncoming traffic. I also would wait for a TV reporter and their camera person to cross and would then walk across to their left, leaving them closest to the truck-tractor. Obviously, if a truck was to hit them, then perhaps they’d provide a little buffering for me. I mean, they were always stealing our newspaper stories anyway. So …

Yes, I realize I am being a bit flippant here and I don’t mean to be so at the expense of the person who was struck. Still, these type of auto-pedestrian accidents like many such mishaps are avoidable. So let us just leave this where it is as a cautionary tale. Interstate highways can be dangerous enough without trying to cross them on foot.

 

Arrested bank robber may have once received clemency

A suspect who was wanted in the robbery of three Southeast Texas banks was arrested today while trying to catch a cab at a Beaumont mall.

John Steven Stark, 46, was arrested outside Parkdale Mall shortly after the nearby Prosperity Bank was held up around 9:15 this morning, a Beaumont Police Department news release said. Stark, who was listed on a driver license database as having a Huntsville address, was stopped after entering the taxi at a front mall entrance. Police said Stark was arrested without incident and had a large amount of cash on him.

A tease line on the Beaumont Enterprise Web site this evening said it all: “Talk, Dark, and Handcuffed,” referring to the name given by police and media to the robber of the “Tall, Dark and Handsome Bandit.” The alleged robber was shown in surveillance photos dressed neatly and wearing sunglasses on the top of his head during robberies at the Bank of America on Calder Avenue in Beaumont on Jan. 30 and the Comercia Bank off Southwest Freeway in Houston on Feb. 2.

Beaumont police said an employee at the Prosperity Bank this morning was able to see the silver Toyota Corolla Stark was driving and gave police a license plate number. Officers found the car in the mall parking lot and set up surveillance of the car while other officers searched inside the mall.

A criminal database indicated Stark, who previously resided in Rye, Texas, in Polk County, had previous arrests for forgery and aggravated robbery. Those records showed Stark had been paroled and received and unspecified type of clemency.

Just a note, since I have written about this guy I figured that I would follow-up with his arrest. The clemency found in his criminal records is interesting since the Texas Department of Criminal Justice says:

 “The governor has the authority to grant clemency upon the written recommendation of a majority of the Board of Pardons and Paroles. Clemency includes full pardons, conditional pardons, pardons based on innocence, commutations of sentence, and emergency medical reprieves.”

It may be something innocuous but could be as well something to make one say: “Hmm.”

 

Day 4 of problems with the jawbone of an ass. Plus: Local bandit identified by FBI. Ain’t all that tall!

Day 4 of the Unknown Jaw Syndrome. Having not gathered any information whatsoever from my Veterans Affairs medical “provider,” I am left alone to diligently search the George W. Bush Memorial Internets for whatever the hell is making me feel more than a might peaked. I went to work today. That is about all I can say, that and at 4 p.m., I am in my robe. Speaking of GW, I was just briefly watching CNN’s “The Situation Room” and watching it renewed my long-held desire to just slap the living dogs**t out of Ari Fleisher. And that isn’t even for his alleged role in the Susan G.. Komen P.R. nightmare in first deciding to not fund Planned Parenthood and then deciding the foundation will fund it. Ari is just such a great communicator.

Nonetheless, I still feel terrible and am suffering on and off jaw and facial pain. West Nile? Lyme? Lemon-Lime? Orange-Orange? The jaw trouble makes me wonder just how Sampson could have slain 1,000 men with the jawbone of an ass? Why that is more folks than Dirty Harry blasted with his S & W Model 29 .44-Magnum and the rest of his arsenal.

That good ol’ Internet.

Don’t know the tall, dark, handsome robber

The "Tall, Dark, and Handsome Bandit" during the Houston Comercia Bank heist. Note the odd-looking letter and the wrinkles in his forehead.

The bank robber recently dubbed the “Tall, Dark, Handsome Bandit” has now been identified by the FBI

John “Steven” Stark, 46, is facing federal bank robbery charges for the Jan. 30, robbery of my local bank, the Bank of America on Calder Avenue in Beaumont, said an FBI press release. He also allegedly robbed the Comercia Bank, 3135 Southwest Fwy., in Houston, on Feb. 2.

When he robbed the establishment where I bank, I remarked here after seeing a surveillance photo that that the dude looked very familiar. Well, upon closer examination Stark doesn’t look all that much like someone I know.

That isn’t to say I haven’t seen the guy. The FBI says his last known address is in next-door Liberty County. He also is known to have friends here in Beaumont and in Houston.

Check out the surveillance photo of the Comercia robbery. The letter in front of the bandit, while he is fingering a wad o’ dough, looks pretty odd, as if it has a photo in it. He looks looks he has wrinkles in his forehead too, which also seems pretty strange for someone robbing a bank, or so it would seem. I can’t say for sure though. Fortunately, robbing a bank is not on my resume. Then again, an original description noted the bandit had acne scars on both sides of his face. Note, as well, Stark goes for the “shades-on-head” method of parking his sunglasses. I prefer to place an earpiece of my shades in the middle of my shirt. That protects the lenses from oily skin and perspiration. That isn’t to say I have oily skin. I doubt, as well, that whomever makes up these bank-robber names would call me tall, dark and handsome. That is even though I am a half-inch or so under 6 feet tall — the bandit’s height. But I am not dark. Handsome? I do have a protruding belly these days, a gray Van Dyke beard and a shaved head with a light complexion. So if you see someone who looks like me, do not, I repeat, do not, call the law. Instead, ask me if I am having a nice day. If it is really me, I will tell you “$&#@ no. Mind your own @&%$@%! business!”

The FBIs (hey, just doin’ a little Geedubya Bushin’.) give this additional information about the real bandit:

“Stark goes by Steven Stark. He is a white male, 46 years old, 6’ tall, and weighs approximately 230 pounds. He was last known to be driving a silver 2006 Toyota Corolla four-door sedan bearing Texas license plate 699XPW.”

Houston Crime Stoppers is offering a $5,000 reward for information leading to the location and arrest of Stark. The feds ask that if you spot Stark, call the Crime Stoppers Tip Line at 713-222-TIPS (8477), or the Houston office of the FBI at 713-693-5000.

 

Police seek suspect in neighborhood bank heist

First of all, I have to say that I hate to see any neighborhood business get robbed. There have been a few neighborhood robberies in the past couple of years including banks. When the bank that gets held up is where you do business, even if most of the transactions are online, it kind of touches you in a special way. I guess that is what I get from growing up in a small town.

Sure enough the Bank of America, 2625 Calder Ave., Beaumont, Texas, was robbed about 11 a.m. today. Beaumont police say the suspect came into the bank and stood at the service island as if he was pretending to look for a deposit slip. A bank worker came up to the man and asked if he needed help — something this bank does routinely — and he said, no, and handed her a note saying he was just here to rob the bank. That sounds flippant, I know, but the police are not releasing the exact wording of the note. That is approximately what police said happen except it was more matter-of-fact, Joe Friday, manner. Jess! The facts ma’am!

Wanted for allegedly robbing the Bank of America in Beaumont, Texas--Photo Beaumont Police Department

A Beaumont police news release said the suspect is a white man, 30-40 years old, about 6-feet, 190 pounds, light skin, short dark hair, with acne scars on his cheeks. And damn if I haven’t seen this guy somewhere before, seriously, he looks familiar but I can’t remember where I have seen him. If you notice the photo, he was wearing his sunglasses on his head and had on a blue pullover shirt with the number “54” on it. Something is written below the number on the front, but the police are not mentioning it. I wonder why? The jersey also has some kind of logo transposed on the number.

So what is the significance of the jersey first of all? Is it a football jersey? Pro or college? It’s probably pro. Now think about pro football stars — present and past — who wore a blue #54 jersey? Tedy Bruschi, retired New England Patriots linebacker and now ESPN analyst? Chuck Howley, Dallas Cowboys linebacker, Super Bowl V MVP and part of the SB VI championship team? Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears linebacker, 8-time Pro Bowl? Just to mention a few.

Doing a little critical thinking here, if this guy is between 30 and 40 years old then Howley might have been retired when this man was born. Urlacher is still playing. Bruschi, probably more popular. But a northern team? Sure, why not? He might have been transplanted with his company to Houston and was/is a Pats fan. And what if he was laid off like so many others thanks to the Bush administration?

He doesn’t disguise himself. What does that mean? Does he want to get caught?  The news release doesn’t say if he had a gun. Did he have one? KFDM says he didn’t and that he left heading for 10th Street, that is the cross-street for the bank. What are these guys thinking, bank robbers? And he looks familiar. That’s not good. If you see him call the police or FBI. Tell ’em eightfeetdeep told you about it  and they’ll likely lock you up as well.

It is kind of interesting contemplating a bank-robber’s life. Most of us will never know who this guy is and his story. In some cases, it’s just as well.