A plucky draft prospect receives no ordinary fowl honor

Former Auburn University quarterback and 2011 Heisman Trophy winner Cam Newton may go as the Number 1 NFL draft pick when it starts this evening but he won’t have one unique honor that another Alabama collegiate player and Heisman winner has already received. That would be a life-sized, 40-pound sculpture made of chicken salad.

A Subway sandwich shop in Midtown Manhattan built the sculpture depicting Mark Ingram Jr., which is constructed from “a combination of wire, plaster, raisins, bread, celery, cranberries and, of course, lots of chicken,” according to a New York Daily News story.

The son of former pro football great Mark Ingram will likely become a top NFL draft prospect. The running back who helped the Crimson Tide beat Texas for the 2010 National Championship — it didn’t hurt that the Tide knocked Texas star QB Colt McCoy out of the game on their first drive — said he was thrilled by the honor.

“It’s a chicken salad of me, man,” he told the Daily News.

Seriously, it’s good to see Ingram can lighten up some on the cusp of being drafted. He has had injury problems over his two past college seasons and most notably his father overshadowed the son leading up to the latter’s 2009 Sugar Bowl appearance. The senior Ingram was on the lam, having failed to report to federal prison for a 92-month-sentence on bank fraud and money laundering charges. Ingram Sr. was arrested by U.S. Marshals just two hours before the kickoff to his son’s nationally-televised game. At least his Dad had the TV tuned into the game. Not the best memory for some of the son’s great career moments. Well, maybe not so great that time since Utah beat Alabama in that game. But you know …

It could be a stellar occasion for younger Ingram over these next few days while his dad, perhaps, watches only a few miles down the road from where I live in Beaumont, Texas. That would be at Federal Correctional Institute-Beaumont.

Maybe you really can, unlike President Lyndon Johnson surmised, make chicken salad out of chicken s**t.

Funny? Maybe. Journalism. Doubtful.

My friend Marcy sent me a story which came from my town’s local daily but was apparently rewritten by the Associated Press.

“A holdup?

Hilarious.

Police say a Southeast Texas bank teller thwarted an attempted robbery when she read the holdup note and started laughing.”

The story which first appeared in the Beaumont Enterprise was basically a rewritten news release from the Beaumont Police Department.

I replied to my friend, the contents of that reply will be a bit less graphic here, that it might have been really funny had the newspaper obtained a copy of the note from the police. “Let us in on the joke,” I wrote.

Now, a spokeswoman for Wells Fargo — whose bank it was which was robbed — said the teller did not laugh and the newspaper story said the video proved it. Of course, the story said it was the Wells Fargo spokeswoman who said surveillance video proved the teller didn’t laugh because the company takes such matters “seriously.” CYA? Maybe. Did the cops who wrote the report or provided the information for the press release, which the Enterprise’s story copied, get it wrong? I would doubt it.

So what’s going on here?  An odd story about a bank robbery that lacked, as far as I can tell, any original reporting? A story the corporate flacks spiked because they are worried about getting sued? Sadly, the folks here in Beaumont will probably never know unless the same would-be robber is arrested and tells all during a confession in a city in which the media actually reports news  rather than acts as a stenographer.

For the longest time I defended our local paper, but I can no longer do that. The Enterprise, a Hearst newspaper, has fallen to its lowest point that I can remember and I have been reading the paper for the majority of my reading life. More and more it seems as if the editors are content with stories which are sent out via an e-mail alert from the  police and fire department. I know about the content of the stories as opposed to that of the press releases because I also receive the same e-mail alert and read the same releases.

At least from the time I worked as a reporter until recently, the Beaumont Police Department would not have won any “sunshine in open government” awards. I will give it to the Enterprise that they have fought the law and the law didn’t win when it came to open records in a few cases. But in reality, using open records laws to gain information is like shooting fish in a barrel. The Beaumont police have had some embarrassing events lately although the public would have hardly known about it were it not for lawsuits in which the information freely flows.

I am not saying that the Enterprise does not have good journalists. I know of a few who are both good reporters and writers. I might know more were they either allowed to report or made to do so.

Good reporters can get information, the real skinny, if they have one iota of  talent. That is no matter how stingy a police department is with its newsworthy intel. I have worked in places where one would have thought the police owned and had copyrights on information. Even more though, I worked where cops and prosecutors told me everything. That’s not always good either, but I was hooked.

I have a few other beefs with my local newspaper. One is that I can’t stand the stupid, race-baiting blog on their Web site. I will not give it any notice by mentioning its name on my blog although I am ashamed to see that once again the writer of that poor excuse for journalism won first place in the state’s Associated Press Managing Editors Assn. awards. Then again, I’ve won a couple of first place awards from that same organization. Newspaper awards mean more to newspaper publishers and editors and reporters’ egos than anything of substance.

The other beef and it is a major one is that I bought a newspaper one day last week for the first time in a year or so and I was disturbed to find stuffed inside was the Southeast Texas Record. The Record is a weekly newspaper that reports from all the local courts in the area and in the federal Eastern District of Texas. When I say report, I mostly mean its reporters draw information from court records.  The only problem I have is that the Record is one of several papers in the country published by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Why would the U.S. Chamber of Commerce publish a paper in Beaumont, Texas, you might ask? That is because this area has garnered a reputation — rightfully or wrongly — of being a “judicial hellhole” or a place in which juries and sometimes judges are plaintiff-friendly.

I do not have the time nor patience to debate the whole “frivolous lawsuit” issue. In fact, the U.S. Chamber’s part in trying to deny an American citizen’s right to a civil trial as specified under the 7th Amendment is only one area in which that behemoth of American commerce is a threat to the average citizen. The chamber is also exceedingly anti-union and pro-Republican. If you want to do some research into donors to the Republican party, you just might find a great deal of those dollars coming from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

Obviously, I have a bunch of pent-up anger toward my local newspaper. There are various reasons why. But I would much rather someone at the top start kicking some ass and taking names to make the Enterprise a real newspaper once more than to read press releases I can get at my own fingertips.

The Enterprise has pointed out that it just stuffs the Record inside and it has no “marriage of convenience.” Nevertheless, the BE has long been an editorially-conservative newspaper and its stuffing the U.S. Chamber of Commerce inside it just too much for a moderately liberal union guy to bear.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

There had to be a reason why I went to Kroger today. I mean, besides it being one of the closest supermarkets to where I live. There was also the Postnet next door to Kroger where I had to make copies and mail some paper work. But afterward I noticed parked in the Kroger lot, the big, red tractor-trailer with a couple of square portholes — which some might consider an oxymoron — that bore a sign that the Budweiser Clydesdales were here.

Actually, it was A Clydesdale, as in one. I caught the horse there just as it was about to head off in its big tractor trailer for another personal appearance.

I apologize for the picture. It was made from in the shadows with my new phone which I was operating from the flip-open keypad. I hate new phones.

Fantastic horses are the Clydesdales though. I have seen the Bud Clydesdales several times, the first time probably 40-some years ago at the Busch Brewery in Houston. That time I saw an entire team and remember being quite impressed to see horses so much larger than me, my being 12 years old or so. The one I saw today is as well larger than me. The ideal Bud horses are about 6 feet tall and weigh a ton.

I have to say the horse’s handlers didn’t like it very much when I retrieved a football and tried to get the lone gelding to kick it. (Not really)

***

I thought the street construction here in Beaumont was ridiculous a year ago. It has become downright insufferable. One never knows where construction is going to pop up. North 11th and North. The city which has been laying down new drainage in and fancifying  Calder Avenue has the street open to the South I-10 service road, all the way downtown, but they’ve yet to turn on the traffic light at the busy 11th Street intersection. Calder is also closed for the drainage and, I suppose, to spruce it up perhaps with a bike lane, curbs and sidewalks like on the others side of I-10. One never knows though.

Continuing down 11th near Gateway Shopping Center, home of the original Jason’s Deli, they seem to be working on drainage for Fannin Street which has 11th Street at Gateway down to two lanes instead of four.

As I have said before, I am thrilled they are doing something about drainage problems — flash flooding is big problem here in a place with an average of about 60 inches of rain per year — and doubly happy they are improving the streets. There are a lot more well-traveled streets, Seventh between I-10 and Calder a good example, that need fixing. I just wish they wouldn’t do everything at once. It’s a real pain in the patootie.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk – a mouse

I saw one night before. If I had been quick enough I would have drop-kicked it. I have taken steps to dispatch it.

Such an exciting life, mine.

SE Texas ice expected. Watchout for a healthy stork crop this fall.

In the words of someone or another: “It’s a cold mammajamma.”

Actually, the last reading at the airport 15 miles south is 32 degrees F. Not so cold but the rain is coming down and expected to turn to freezing rain and sleet tonight. The National Weather Service calls for an coverage  tonight. Once again, for those who think otherwise, that means there is not an 80 percent chance that we will see freezing rain or sleet. I know the graphic shows ice and snow. That’s from the NWS. So sue me. Here is the formula for Probability of Precipitation (PoP):

“PoP = C x A where “C” = the confidence that precipitation will occur somewhere in the forecast area, and where “A” = the percent of the area that will receive measureable precipitation, if it occurs at all.”

As with all else dealing with math and science, it’s clear as mud.

The forecast in my immediate area calls for about 1/10 of an inch of ice accumulation. That doesn’t sound so bad until you figure there has to be a “fudge factor” somewhere in there meaning the amount of ice might be more or it might be less.

I don’t know how many significant ice storms I have seen. I remember two or three but I am sure I have been through more than that. The last significant one I remember was in January 1997 in Beaumont, Texas, where I now live although I should point out for some reason or other I moved for a seven-year period to Waco the next year before moving back to Beaumont. Why is that important? I don’t know. It isn’t. Or, it is.

A good account of that storm written by Mark David Roth is on the NWS Lake Charles, La., Web site. I have no idea if he is related to David Lee Roth. Maybe they have sisters who are both mothers. Roth, Mark David and not David Lee, talks about the genesis of the storm and how it took shape into the uncomfortable icer that it was. He even goes onto note one of the side effects of the 1997 storm, a baby boom:

“Admissions at local hospitals have been 150% normal during August, September, and October of 1997. One expectant mother was quoted by “The Lake Charles American Press” newspaper on October 11th as saying “everywhere I looked, there was a pregnant woman.”

Watch out down the road during the fall if this storm turns tonight turns out to be much. We could have us one of those “Stork Storms!” Or should I say, watch out in general and maybe we won’t.

Dogs but no goats killed in vicious Beaumont attack

A man with a bow and arrow, I suppose, or perhaps a bow and arrows managed to stop a dog attack on a goat herd that lives in a comfy little goat hangout between Phelan and Calder in Beaumont. I say suppose because I am not really sure from this story on the Beaumont Enterprise online edition. Perhaps if I paid the Enterprise king’s ransom to read the whole story I would be more enlightened. I don’t know that for sure, maybe the story is just a wee bit unclear. But that is the enormous crap shoot you take when a newspaper opens what is known as a “pay wall.” Don’t get me started on all that, though.

Goats saved by archer during violent daytime canine attack.

I love this goat herd. I first noticed it about five years ago driving by on Phelan Boulevard, a pretty well-traveled thoroughfare in the middle of western Beaumont. Calder Avenue is on the other side of the goat “farm.” Calder is itself a busy street in more places than others. The part that forms a boundary for the goat-plex isn’t all that busy. However, those two streets combined are, presumably busy enough for a vicious dog or dogs to transit in search of some fresh cabrito.

One or more of the hurricanes we had forced goat owner Sam Parigi to move the herd. An Enterprise story mention a lot of folks began to miss seeing the goats. I know I did.  Nevertheless, the goats returned.

I went by there a month or so ago and took some pictures with my then new camera — now in New Jersey allegedly being repaired from a tumble in my recent trip to Missouri — of the herd. I found that Parigi has built the goats what look like a very comfy stable, or goat-i-minium. But I also noticed the owner, who also is a big real estate person in this town, has a “for sale” sign up on the fabled herd. If Parigi is trying to sell the land, the herd or the land and the herd, I wonder what will become of the goats? Cabrito? Or perhaps the more appropriate term would be “chevon.”

It would be ashamed to see the goat herd hundreds of drivers including myself have come accustomed to glancing at every day while driving by. The almost comical creatures bring, no doubt, a lot of smiles to a lot of people and the goats somehow make it seem all is right with the world just with their presence.

Alas, nothing stays the same but Congress.

Hat tip to the fellow who managed to dispatch the attacking dogs with his trusty bow and arrow. I don’t much like killing dogs but I like less, dogs attacking the Phelan-Calder Goat Herd.