Have mercy. Been ridin’ on the bus all day …

This is Post #2,400 for the ol’ EF’enD. But no time to celebrate boys and girls, cause I got a bus to catch. Tomorrow. Going to Dallas on that ol’ Greyhound. That means a ride from Beaumont->Houston->Dallas–>Catch that ol’ DART Red Line light rail to Arapaho station–>Then catch a ride with my amigo to Frisco. Hot Damn (or not.) What that means is I will be sitting on my ass a lot tomorrow. Start the music boys:

http://youtu.be/MDEHZNirvF0

No infringement is meant here. First and last, if you don’t have this album, go out and get it. I mean the vinyl. Doesn’t matter even if it’s scratched up a little, in fact, that’s the way it should be played. And loud. Make the fine China dance up and down on the dinner table of those pretentious metrosexual assholes upstairs above you.

This song reminds me of my younger days. A long-haired punk riding the bus to the AFEES in Houston for a physical for the Navy and a ride back to Kirbyville where somebody picked us up. Oh I’d be back to that old AFEES, entertain the thought of going AWOL to see Crosby, Stills Nash and Young, but go ahead anyway, crawl in a big yellow taxi for Houston Intercontinental Airport, now known as Bush Intercontinental, for Old Man Bush.

Riding the bus all day or waiting for the bus all day. One kind of blends into another. That’s why this “Waiting for the Bus All Day,” by ZZ Top, which merges effortlessly into “Jesus Just Left Chicago,” is so appropriate for the po’ man traveler. Nowadays, you have to be really broke (which I am at the moment) or you are some kind of nut, and or outlaw, to ride the bus.

ZZ Top’s been with me for 40 years or more. They sing a kind of multi-racial blues that black, white, brown, it doesn’t matter, you know?

So here is to ZZ Top and to that long bus ride tomorrow.

A & M to be deprived of Johnny Football for one-half against Rice, sources say.

Okay Johnny, which wrist would you like us to slap? Oh. Of course, we wouldn’t want to slap your passing arm even though the slap will be more like a finger tap.

I know I should tread lightly talking about Texas A & M and it’s headline-making quarterback Johnny Manziel. Half of my family went to A & M and a close friend from college days is a big fan since our college is only what is now called a “Football Championship Series” team and not a BCS one.

Johnny Football after June 2012 arrest for fighting and fake identification. / Photograph courtesy of Brazos County's Judicial Records Search at http://justiceweb.co.brazos.tx.us
Johnny Football after June 2012 arrest for fighting and fake identification. / Photograph courtesy of Brazos County’s Judicial Records Search at http://justiceweb.co.brazos.tx.us

But if all the reports this afternoon are right then it seems Heisman Trophy winner “Johnny Football” will have to sit out one half of the Aggies season opener against Rice. This news comes from ESPN and other media outlets, based on a Twitter feed from an Aggie insider.

The one-half suspension will permanently shut the door on allegations Manziel was paid to sign more than 4,000 autographs. Scott Van Pelt said on his ESPN radio show this afternoon that autograph brokers who snitched on Manziel to the media would not talk to NCAA investigators. At least that is a popular theory. The reason is that, allegedly, the Aggies quarterback was devaluing his autographs by signing so many.

Might one say that they smell a rat in Indianapolis, home of the NCAA?

A second Heisman season is possible for Manziel and there is an outside chance he might lead the Aggies to a national championship season, this being the team’s second in Southeastern Conference play.

With this chapter in Manziel’s history apparently closed, plus putting his legal problems to bed, this might be quite a season for Johnny Football. After this season Mr. Football will be eligible for the NFL draft. And he seems eager to let the draft madness begin and escape College Station. If he can just keep out of trouble …

 

That tragic, deadly, ol’ Love Boat

Have you ever wondered how many boxes of toothpicks can be made from a single tree?

Most toothpicks in the U.S. are made from birch, according to Ask.com, the answer to everything, the trut,’ the whole trut’ and nothing but the trut.’

Well, according to one site whose pedigree I couldn’t tell you:

In one cord of wood (logs 8′ in length, stacked 4′ high, and 4′ wide) can be turned into 7.5 million toothpicks.

Reminds me of a cartoon I saw as a kid. The board of directors are sitting around in a board room (where else). A chart is being pointed to at a company called Acme Toothpick by some suit. The suit says: “Unfortunately, we expect a sharp decline in profits this year since the company bought a new tree.”
And we all laughed.
So what brings this up? Why it is the Love Boat. Yes, you remember so many years ago … “The Love Boat promises something new for everyone …. ” Like the prospect that this episode will be followed by “Fantasy Island.” “De plane, de plane … “
The MS Pacific is the ship once known as the Pacific Princess. That was when she embarked from across the way from the Long Beach shipyard in which my destroyer was dry-docked during that magic summer of ’77. Magic? Magic Tragic. It’s just “artistic license.” After all, someone probably made tons of money from that terrible “Love Boat” theme. Get over it. The Pacific limped into a Turkish shipyard last week, listing much like half of my crew on a one-night liberty in Fiji. A ship recycling company bought the ship — the Princess, not my destroyer — for about $3.3 million.
One might think this about the worst ending ever for a 70s icon of love. But, oh no, it gets even worse.
No doubt the “Love Boat” sucked as a TV show. Who knew it was actually lethal?

Want to bid on a private jet flight? Then fill up that empty leg with a bid, if you’re not too chicken

Are you a leg man? How about a leg woman? Well, my friends, legs might be in your traveling future if you like a little Internet crap-shooting. Here is an offer that might even match Bill Shatner “negotiating a deal” for you on behalf of Priceline. What is the new magic travel wave of the future? Why it is the quest to fill an “empty leg.”

A company called EmptyLegMarket LLC, has announced a new iPhone app on which one may name their price on chartering a private jet. Were you hearing me right? I think so. EmptyLeg customers can bid on chartering an entire private jet by simply entering when they want to go to, the amount they are willing to pay, and their payment information. Within 24 hours of submitting a bid a customer will be notified if their bid was accepted by one of the company’s jet operators.

“Nobody in the industry has an iPhone app allowing you to name your price to charter a private jet,” says Elliott Schwartz, Director of Operations for EmptyLegMarket, in a PRNewswire release.

I do not doubt that.

The EmptyLegMarket Website explains that an “Empty Leg” refers to a market term for unsold charter jet flight segments. Most of those segments listed for current empty legs require a call for a quote while others say $1 USD or USD $536. For instance, a current empty leg listing for a Saturday evening from Eagle County, Colo., to Hooks airport in Houston, on board a turboprop Pilatus PC-12 is up for bid starting at USD $1. Let the bid wars begin!

Well, it sounds interesting and potentially expensive. Whether this app will turn you on to something magical and even an economical alternative to commercial flight is the big question. I suppose one must call to ask what the flight really costs. Nevertheless, you may find some things on this ‘net suite that is a bargain. My advice though is to not count your flying chickens before they hatch. Nor should you plan your flight with the thought of a single dollar floating inside your head.

Congress to military: Stop the camo madness!

Congressional member bother themselves with all sorts of wacky issues. Although, sometimes our esteemed congressional members do hit the mark or at least come close.

Navy Times.com reported today that the Senate Armed Services Committee has agreed with their House colleagues that the military is spending way too much on unique-styled camouflage uniforms. I think I might add that the service is also spending too much time in spreading a trend that could hurt the military down the road.

It is ridiculous the number of camo combat uniforms the separate armed services has developed. Once the camouflage was jungle green. Then the desert patterns were added for Middle East service. At times you could see both patterns in the same combat zone which really didn’t make a lot of sense.

Then came a trend under the Donald Rumsfeld era of the Defense Department that “uniforms” should be uniform. First the Marine Corps developed an odd “digital” camo pattern. The Navy followed suit with a blue and gray mix that supposedly would hide some one on a ship, I suppose. That is not to mention they ditched the traditional chambray-dungaree bell bottom working uniform for a “Navy Working Uniform ” that is the style of the Army’s Battle Dress Uniform, (BDU). The Air Force has its own battle dress as well. Eventually, 22 camouflage separate patterns were designed for 45 terrains, according to Navy Times.

Of course, Congress looks here at the bottom line and all the money being spent. But what seems to be missing in such examining is that an “Army of One,” as the recruiting slogan goes, is quickly becoming an Armed Forces of One. The Navy has working uniforms which look as if they were hand-me-downs from the Marines. Give the Congressional staffers and military bureaucrats enough time and money and they are likely to come up with a 3-piece, pin-striped business suit to replace the traditional blue dress of the Marine Corps.

I served during a time of change with Navy uniforms. Although the blue dungaree, chambray working uniforms were still allowed, I was issued a blue jumper and dark blue work pants in boot camp. Our dress uniforms were like a traditional business suit one that was indistinguishable from the chief and officers’ dress along with that round hat with a bill you see in most uniforms, we still were allowed the dress whites and a cool-looking black undress working uniform with black shirt and black pants. Most sailors also didn’t like the dress blues because they saw the Navy sailor traditionally dressed like the sailor on the Crackerjacks box. The noise was heard and that uniform  was brought back in considerably short order.

Hopefully, the military men will have the ability and the foresight to keep tradition in uniforms. One might think it silly that someone would not join a military service because of a uniform. It might not be the only reason, but it does make a difference.

Congress is right to stop the craziness with the camos. Let’s just hope they don’t micromanage uniforms and still give the men and women who wear them the necessary input for which clothes the sailors, soldiers, Marines, airmen and coasties will wear.