Happy Monday. Now leave me alone.

Slowly I am moving closer to having my laptop repaired so that I might enjoy a better of variety of settings in which I can write this blog. As well, perhaps I might pen something which will bring a little cold cash, something that has been strangely missing lately since I dare to label myself a freelance writer.

As it is now I am in the downtown public library of Beaumont, Texas, and find myself surrounded by a bevy of jerks who think the computer lab is a place in which they might have loud back and forth conversations. Oh well, it could be worse, they could all be talking on cell phones. That will probably come next.

It is a Monday and has been all day long. I am headed for the house.

In other words, Happy Fourth of July


Since today is July 3 I am taking the liberty — pardon the pun — of beginning my celebration of the United States of America’s birth a day early. I can do that you know, for I am special. Some say special in the derogatory way. But I don’t care because July 4 is such a wonderful day to celebrate because it is the day that President Adams and Jefferson both died within hours of each other.

Of course, I don’t think it is a reason to celebrate the fact that two presidents died on the same day some 182 years ago check my math if you want. But I thought that I might dazzle someone from say Bhutan or even the U.S. of A. who didn’t know that the two presidents, who were formal political rivals most of their lives but late in life began writing each other like teens with a schoolboy-girl crush, died on the same day. But they did. So there!

That is really all I have to say because time is running out on my meter and I will explode into a wee gray mass of protoplasm once the arrow reaches “E.” which as Firesign Theater noted in their excellent work: “Don’t Crush That Dwarf Hand Me the Pliers,” ” … stands for excellent in my books.”

Happy Fourth! Eat up. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink and play with Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles!

Red, white and blue. Get it?

Talk of another Edwards as VP: Interesting but remote


In a political season during which few surprises have really jumped up and bit me, I was rather taken aback to see U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi mention Rep. Chet Edwards as a great choice as a vice presidential choice for Sen. Barack Obama.

The shock comes because I agree with Pelosi and secondly because Chet — a conservative Democrat from Waco, Texas, is the one and only national politician I personally know who would be able to spot me in a crowd and, not only know my name, but also seek me out and shake hands. That isn’t to say Chet and I are bosom buddies but I did have a great working relationship with him when I worked as a reporter in Central Texas.

Edwards is a very personable and pleasant individual. From what I recall, Edwards was on the fast track to be Speaker of the House and would hold the same right now had not Newtie Gingrich and the boys jumped in and placed a Republican majority there until the Dems recaptured it, somewhat, during the last election.

The conservatism in the political realm of Chet Edwards is evident in the fact that he represents a strongly Republican district which among its voters include Gee Dubya and Laura Bush out there on the “ranch” in Crawford.

But Edwards’ stances on issues likewise show the independence born of conscience. He leads the House subcommittee that funds the military and Department of Veterans Affairs thus he is strong on defense and veterans issues. He supported an amendment to protect the U.S. Flag from desecration — something I think isn’t necessary. Yet he considers school prayer a detriment to the separation of church and state.

Those who read this space know I have my problems with the Department of Veterans Affairs. But Chet has labored to see that veterans get the care they need and has consistently tried to steer the VA toward being a physician healing itself.

That Edwards has served nine terms in Congress also attests to his staff, to paraphrase former East Texan Rep. Charlie Wilson, “bringing home the bacon.” One may yammer on and on about congressional pork. But a little ham is rewarded with votes of thanks at the ballot box and it doesn’t hurt when Chet’s crew helps Grandma get her Social Security check or retired Sgt. Rock get his VA pension.

I don’t normally praise politicians much less care for them all that much. But I think Chet is a nice guy, very capable legislator and I have absolutely no doubt that Edwards would make a great vice president. And, yes if the need sadly came, I feel could step in and lead this country. Whether that happens or not, to me, sounds about as remote as Tranquility Bay. Yet one never knows. We shall see what happens during the latter part of August in Denver.

VA: CYA?AOK!CUL8TR

Mindboggling is a word which comes to mind when I realized I had missed an important story pertaining to my and many other veterans’ favorite agency, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs a.k.a. the Veterans Administration a.k.a. the VA.

The story relates to the VA psychologist at the Olin E. Teague Veterans Center in Temple, Texas, who sent an e-mail to her colleagues telling them to stop diagnosing veterans with post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.

I say this is mindboggling because I once covered the VA as a newspaper reporter and if I do say so myself, covered them like stink on a June bug. This was especially true for goings-on at the Temple VA hospital, which has had its share of black eyes. But the truth is that since I no longer work this or any other particular beats, or as a reporter, I let a few things slip by although it is just as well in cases such as this one because I am just as miffed now as I would have been when this story first surfaced.

Actually, and sadly, nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to ridiculous, unethical, and/or immoral acts which come from the VA. And when I say that I don’t mean to say that all VA employees are bad or mean or total ass****s although a few are. The problem is economics and the system itself.

In the economic realm the VA suffers from the root of all commerce: supply and demand. The system error is that our Congress has seen fit in recent years to shortchange veterans by continually underfunding the VA. It is true you will see the department get a few million bucks more here and there during some years. But it never seems to be enough. Even when the VA tries in principal to do right they seem to screw it up such as their CARES initiative. Like the military base closing apparatus, CARES shut down and proposed closing VA facilities that weren’t being used. The principal was sound in theory but in practice turned out to be a disaster both politically and functionally. I’m still shaking my head over that and I attended more CARES hearings and commission meetings than I ever wanted to in a lifetime.

Of course, like a good bureaucrat, I see that Dr. Perez, whom I may have met or may not have met at Temple, employed the standard defense for any bone-headed move which is to cover one’s a**. That is good for her. She will probably get a raise or an elevated position somewhere else now especially since the Peter Principle seems to be in rich supply when it comes to the Temple VA hospital.

But members of Congress, yes that Congress, may leave their rear ends exposed if they let the VA health care system fall apart. You can only pull a rubber band so far before it comes back and smacks you. The sensible thing to do is, at the very least, begin talking about mandatory funding for the VA as opposed to discretionary spending. In other words, instead of approving an annual budget for VA health care the funding could be appropriated in advance and thus be unencumbered by a variety of obstructions so that veterans can finally get the health care they deserve.

I must remind you and myself, however, that this is Congress we are talking about. Yes, that Congress. And nothing is likely to happen until throngs of people start making loud noises about whatever the subject. Right now people are making a lot of noise about high gasoline prices. Tomorrow who knows. (Probably gasoline prices.) So I don’t suppose mandatory funding will be anytime in the near future.

Cows, UFOs and barrels full o' monkey fun

“Woke up this morning with light in my eyes/And then realized it was still dark outside/It was a light coming down from the sky/I don’t know who or why

Must be those strangers that come every night/Those saucer shaped lights put people uptight/Leave blue green footprints that glow in the dark/I hope they get home all right.” “Mr. Spaceman” — The Byrds

Watching the History Channel’s “UFO Hunters: Invasion Texas 2008” this morning I suddenly became more skeptical about the military’s claim that the UFO sightings around Stephenville, Texas, were the result of fighter jet training in that area.

Given that explanations for all types of sightings of weird phenomena in years past were the result of swamp gas makes my whimsical conjecture that the cows of Erath County may have been the cause of the UFO sightings not be such a silly musing. After all, methane is a major component of swamp gas and we all know a little at least about the link between cows and methane. So, with maybe 50,000-or-so cows in Erath County — the state of Texas milk jug — one might guess a little methane could be found.

But could all the conditions be right to make what methane is located there put on a spectacular light show? Are our fighter jets practicing around rural North Central Texas? Is it time for us to ask Mr. Spaceman to take me along (I won’t do anything wrong)? Or could the sightings have roots in all of the above?

Don’t ask me. I just work here.

Question of the day

A promo for Jack FM in Houston earlier this morning said listening to the station was more fun than a barrel of monkeys. This explanation by Mr. Funk, that funky cat of the funky “Funk and Wagnalls dictionary, is that if one monkey unleashes a ton o’ fun then a whole barrel must level the fun walls and allow the fun to spill into the valley of fun. In other words, its a bit of hyperbole to say the least.

I would think one monkey stuck in a barrel would probably get a bit ticked off and opening a whole barrel might just open up a barrel of monkey whup ass. I can’t say that is a fact because I have never nor would I ever place a monkey in a barrel. I’m just saying …