Category: Orphans

Jury duty awaits me next week. I think for many this exercise in citizenship would seem something to endure, like a dentist’s visit or perhaps a colonoscopy. Such feelings, I would like to think, pervade not so much because those called aren’t patriotic but instead have many things they need to do in their work or lives.

I look forward to jury duty and, regardless of the case, hope that I am picked. I feel that jury duty is one of the most important obligations a citizen has in this great nation. Of course, I also like courtrooms and courts and the oftentimes drama such a setting brings.

My guess is that I probably spent three-to-four years covering courts when I worked full-time as a journalist. These cases didn’t happen, usually at least, in a big-city setting although that didn’t make the drama and the community that was the courthouse no less interesting. For example,  I once had a huge chair thrown in my direction during court. I was once sued for something that I heard on the record in court and later wrote about it. I saw a court packed with uniformed police officers once in a show of solidarity, or force depending on who you believed, in a case in which a man was on trial for decking a state trooper and a deputy sheriff during a traffic stop. I have had judges wink at me to acknowledge an inside joke, or so I hope that was why they winked.

I also served on a jury — a worker’s compensation case — before my journalistic career began in earnest or East Texas, to be exact.

All above and other reasons are why it is highly unlikely I will be picked for this jury. I have been called four times previously and served once. Those who have served or even watch TV shows about court all know that in selecting a jury the lawyers on both sides will ask fairly standard questions which reveal any prejudice that the potential juror might have toward a defendant or plaintiff or prosecutor. Some examples:

Do you know or are you related to any police officers: Yes

Have you or a family member ever been in jail: Yes

Have you or a family member ever experienced any mistreatment or mishandling of a situation by the police: Yes

Do you generally like police officers: Yes

Have you ever been a plaintiff or a defendant in a civil trial: Yes

And so it goes. “Questions 67 and 68,” as a band once known as “Chicago Transit Authority” once sang.

My answers to these questions are no different than millions of other Americans. Since I covered both police and courts, I probably have more of an inside track on what really goes on from the time of a crime until the time a defendant is convicted or released. I say that, not meaning I have more knowledge than those who work in those systems, or that I know more than anyone else in particular. I am just saying that, for an outsider, I probably know a little more about those worlds that the average person. It is exactly for that and all of the above that I predict I will be excused from the jury Monday.

But you never know. I have seen some strange picks on the jury. If I am not on here during the early part of next week, you can figure that I was wrong about my prediction. And let me tell you, I have been really, really wrong about some matters in my life. We shall see what we shall see.

There is not a lot more that I can say today than Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a punk.

I don’t know how long it would take — longer than I care to spend — to look up the words to describe this lunatic other than he is a punk. Let’s look at some definitions for the word “punk:”

• Hood: an aggressive and violent young criminal — Well, he isn’t young but he definitely could be violent and aggressive. He has yet to be convicted of any crimes, but the Iranian dictator has probably violated many serious international human rights laws and other crimes.
• Substance that smolders when ignited; used to light fuses — He seems willing to light some mighty big fires, perhaps even nuclear ones.
• A prostitute. The bottom in a male-male sexual relationship; a catamite; A male used for sex by larger or stronger inmates — Who knows?

  

This I mention because Mamoooooooud got up at the UN General Assembly today and began spouting a bunch of ignorant s**t. That is all nothing new, but the fact he did so close to Ground Zero while accusing the U.S. of perpetrating the 9/11 attack  struck a particular chord so the U.S. and its allies including the European Union got up and began beating the living hell out of the Iranian president with their foot-thick briefing books.

I wish.

No those diplomats got up and walked out singing the chorus to the 1969 one-hit wonder by the band Steam, “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye.”

Sing it. “Na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na. Hey hey. Goodbye.”

Well, they walked at least. I guess Mahmoud has a death wish. That’s all I can figure. That, and the fact that he’s a punk.

Wise ones have said: “Less is more.”

Is less how we learned how the cow ate the cabbage?

Is less more when a one-legged man wins an ass-kicking contest?

Or is more less when a water truck collides with a truck load of sponges?

These are all questions.

And not particularly good ones at that.

Google once again has created a buzz in the tech world although its arrival seems a bit anticlimactic. Google Instant was unleashed upon the U.S. today. I’ve just tried it, only for a few moments granted, but I see no real noticeable difference between the new product and what I’ve been using. Perhaps my letdown stems from the Google I’ve been Googling for sometime now already acted somewhat psychically. Its reputed near clairvoyance is a great portion of Instant’s buzz.

I have been a heavy Internet, first through work and then throughout the day, since the mid 90s. I have seen the remarkable — and then sometimes less than remarkable — progress the ‘net has made. I first started used Yahoo as my favored search engine. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because of their TV commercials. I can’t remember any of them offhand but my memory today isn’t as good as usual. Perhaps my use of Yahoo is because I like the name. I have met my share of yahoos. The term was supposedly coined by Jonathan Swift in “Gulliver’s Travels” but among its definitions these days and the one to which I refer are those folks — particularly in my region — who are not the sharpest chain saw blade in the shed and perhaps win the prize for having the greatest assortment of junk in their yard. They are “yokels,” people who are crude, perhaps even violent if you stir ’em up with a stick. Enough about that though.

Strangely enough, I had used Yahoo the search engine for a number of years and I was flabbergasted when about five years ago I interviewed a fairly well-known person in the media who asked me if Yahoo was a search engine. I won’t mention his name or his medium because there are any number of reasons he didn’t know, plus I know many, many people who are intelligent and good who would think a search engine is something used by the fire department.

When I did some freelance tech writing I began using Google more extensively. I found some of its features a very good fit for my business. For instance, I liked the wide swath it cast when doing a search for a definition: “define:” Or its fairly pinpoint location of something in a particular Internet domain. I don’t just snap up any picture on the Internet and use it on this site. I try to stay within the boundaries of Fair Use and other copyright laws. I don’t want to be sued if I can possibly help it.

Google eventually put out more and more features. After time I kind of marveled at how I would type a few letters  in the address bar (location bar/URL bar, whatever) and about ten sites would pop below the bar which suggested sites I might be looking for. Usually the first one would be correct. The same happened when typing something in the search space, upon which a number of suggested sites appeared. Now if Google does that on every computer, I can’t say. I did sign up for some Google experiments. I hope they don’t implant a computer chip in my head that tells me what to buy. After all, that’s what TV is for.

Although I may have been wowed about these helpful functions, the speed with which its performed by Google Instant seems to be among its most useful features. Google says that its epiphany that people read faster than they type is one of the factors in how this feature can shear 2-to-5 seconds off a search.

Time is money. What 2-to-5 seconds translates into money, I’d have to say that it beats me. But I am willing to bet that Google doesn’t trot out new features and spend millions upon it for sheer joy.