Category: Orphans

Were Gov. Goodhair Rick Perry to do the limbo — an absurdity certainly because his hair would get tripped up in de limbo stick — he certainly would have a good answer to the limbo question: How low can you go? If you are Rick Perry, you can go pretty damned low.

Perry has employed the iconic law enforcement agency, the Texas Rangers, to fight a somewhat dubious war on the border with alleged drug cartels. The specifics are few, “operational security,” says the state’s public safety director, according to a very illuminating Associated Press story. Plus, the Rangers don’t want to brag. What the hell is this? Andy Griffith? No, I imagine good ol’ Andy would be more forthcoming than the Texas Department of Public Safety, under the political control during the political silly season of the silliest goober of them all, Rick Perry.

The Rangers are a part of the DPS. They are seasoned officers who served in various duties ranging from the highway patrol to intelligence to narcotics. I have encountered the DPS in many situations over the years. These encounters were as a fellow public servant, as a reporter, as a bystander and yes, as a traffic offender. I can say that all-in-all, the Texas Department of Public Safety troopers I have known have with a few exceptions been the most professional law enforcement officers I have ever known or ever hope to know. Yes, there are some bad eggs. But I’ve seen many more good ones.

As for open government, the majority of state troopers I knew would tell you as a reporter, right there on the scene of an accident, what he knew from whether an accident victim had life-threatening injuries to which car’s driver “over-corrected” before striking the oncoming automobile. That is not to mention, which the trooper would, whether the victim wore a seat belt or if alcohol was suspected.

That is why I am so very disappointed at the state’s DPS director allowing Perry to, once again, use the department’s personnel to make Goodhair into an even bigger cartoon doofus than he actually is. The Capitol Police and governor’s security detail are also DPS. The whole “Rick shooting a coyote” deal is just total bulls**t. The DPS director, former FBI official Steve McCraw, to his credit did spend several years in his early career as a Texas State Trooper. Maybe he will come to his senses and remember those days, back when the welfare of Texans was more important than serving the political jackass who hired him.

Okay, I give up. Sometimes you keep hearing these names until they start visiting you in your dreams. Thank goodness this hasn’t yet been the case for me. So that is why I finally decided to Google: the Kardashians.

I’ve heard of Kim Kardashian. I seem to remember hearing about a sex tape, that she was on some TV show (“Dancing With the Stars”) other than the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” and that she dated then broke up with then dated and broke up with Reggie Bush, the New Orleans Saints star, who won the Heisman Trophy and then had to give it up because of a “pay-for-play scandal” when he attended USC. Whew!

Now it seems Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Olympic decathalon winner, is part of the Kardashian klan having married Kris, the family matriarch.

Still, I don’t know what makes this whole family give America a big buzz. I mean Kim Kardashian, who is also a model, is kind of … hot. Well, maybe even more than one of the family is … hot. But come on. There are a lot of attractive people in the world and some of them are smart, some are as dumb as a box of rocks.

So back to where we were. I don’t get it. But, I have never watched their little TV show, starring the Kardashian family.

Oh well, at least I can nod my head in honesty when someone now asks “you know those Kardashian family people?” I could just as easily had lied.

Those who seek undertaking an act of kindness need not go farther than the local supermarket.

Twice this afternoon did I stop to perform a good deed for two different elderly women who were disabled. A two-fer, if you will. I did it first and foremost because I was asked to do so. At least, in the first instance I was asked to in some degree and in the latter I was more or less ordered.

A silver-haired lady in a motorized shopping cart accosted me in the bread section and asked if I would help her find a loaf of sourdough. I scanned the breads and finally landed one brand. Of course, this was not what the woman wanted. She already had this kind and wanted another kind. However, after looking some more, she accepted the loaf and thanked me.

Feeling all good about this encounter, I got in my pickup to drive off and I saw another sliver-haired damsel. This one was standing beside her car, its hood opened and jumper cables were dangling from her hand. This elder had a “disabled” tag on her mirror although she was not parked in the disabled area. And the lady was pointing toward her battery, indicating that’s where her battery was located, and indicative of the notion that I would pull up to jump her car.

Following the elder lady’s orders I helped get her car running — an elderly gentleman had come to where we were to give us benefit of his expertise — and left.

These two encounters got me thinking about karma. And when I say “karma” I mean it in a more simplistic American sense which is somewhere between that of the Buddha’s “I declare, O Bhikkus, that volition is Karma. Having willed one acts by body, speech and thought.” And the Biblical: “ … whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

Many Americans who are not familiar with Eastern religion tend to have the “TV version” of karma in mind. That would be a take that is not quite as thought out as in the irreverent comedy “My Name Is Earl.” It is more simplistic like the long ago song title by Southern rockers Wet Willie: “Everything That ‘Cha Do (Will Come Back to You.) Personally, I like the simple version just fine. The key word is “simple,” as in “KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid!)”

While I continue to see some spiritual value — still not totally figured out in my mind — in the Buddhist and Hindu concepts of karma, I also like the one-for-one concept. You do a good deed. A good deed is done for you. Inherent problems exist by the goatfuls with this concept, of course. First, I have no idea how many good deeds have been perpetrated on my behalf in the past. I, likewise, don’t really know how many benevolent episodes I have done in my lifetime other than the two this afternoon. And what about the cause and effect? If I wake up tomorrow and found out someone left me $10 million with no explanation why, what good deed was done that led to this good fortune? Or perhaps the moolah was left for me for no specific act of kindness.

See the problem?

It’s like someone told once way back in the 70s when we were doing something or the other: “Karma is a heavy thing, dude.”

Yes, heavy it is. If you like doing good things and/or you think they are the right things to do, perhaps you should just keep doing them and leave the counting to accountants. Counting Karma is just too darned complicated.

Most folks probably don’t think a lot about insect stings until it happens to them or someone else. I’m the same way. I steer clear of them and most the time we get along swimmingly. Sometimes we don’t.

My niece, Mel, alerted us last night via Facebook that she had visited the ER for an allergic reaction to some kind of sting. Only a short time before that I was struck by a hornet. I think it happened putting on a pair of shorts. It fell out of my shorts, anyway. I immediately smashed that stinging f**k in a kind of primeval reaction.  I suppose  it was more of a reaction from its attack on me than anything. It hurt, a bit. Mel said she knew of five other people who had been stung that day. Of course, this wasn’t all in one place, maybe at most a 60-mile radius.

If you take time to read this, I didn’t, you might find out why late summer is a prime time for being stung by stinging thingers. I think it has to do with the sex life of insects, which, I am just not into. You know, “He’s Just Not That Much Into Your Sex Life If You Are a Hornet.”

Mel has to carry an epi pen now in case of an allergic reaction. I kind of worry about allergic freak outs. I’ve never had one but I’ve had allergies, and I have had unknown allergies that made my upper lip swell, twice in fact. The first thing I did after getting stung, other than crushing that poor little hornet and loosing a couple of new expletives I’ve not heard, was to take a couple of Benadryl. I am not recommending it unless your doctor says it’s okay, but it’s a great antihistamine in case of a serious allergic reaction. And if you have such a reaction, call an ambulance ASAP no matter what.

I also did the ice thing. Ice for awhile. No ice for awhile. My upper thigh is still somewhat reddened, itching and the point of impact is still sitting there looking like mutated fire ant sting. Having a bit of the Type II diabetes. Oh, yeah, I forgot my little toe doesn’t look good at all, Anyway, just so you know, there are all kinds of stinging  critters out there and I have been stung, bit, chomped on and everything except hit upside the head with a .22 like I mentioned my friend Tere did to an alligator once.

Speaking of gators, many Southeast Texans are no doubt  rejoicing that the popular (locally at least) “Gator 9-1-1” will return to TV. It is based here in Beaumont, Texas, and features folks who own a local gator preserve and cafe (for the gators who don’t mind their Ps and Qs.) Seriously, from what I can see on the show and have read about Gator Country, those folks do a good job of catching nuisance gators — and there are a few around here. The Gator Country people also appear to do a great job educating the public on gators and their place in the World out there, even if they cook the gators, hey, sounds okay to me!

I don’t know how I got from hornets to gators but I did. I wish a happy weekend to all and to all, a good wasp-eating alligator!

The racism and xenophobia of the right is just getting a little hard for me to stomach. The Pew poll (here is the whole dang thing, read it, every word of it!) suggesting 1-in-5 Americans believe President Obama is Muslim makes me mad when I suppose it should just make me sad. It’s sad to know that people are willing to believe big lies enough if they are constantly bombarded by an adept public relations machine. Too bad the poll didn’t seek a direct correlation between those who think Obama is Muslim and from what source does information such as Obama’s alleged religion come? Can anyone say: “Fox News” or perhaps “Glenn Beck.” Holy hocakes folks! You are getting a scam run on you and you don’t realize it. Cut off that Fox News or Rush Limbacon for awhile and read a damn book. Listen to soothing music. You are getting brainwashed.