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What went wrong with the Texans? Will you find out or not?

What went wrong?

The question isn’t a reference to any large public safety failure like the West, Texas, explosion or the Boston Marathon terrorist bombing. No, that is the query I ponder with a few minutes to spare before work about something not nearly as serious. That is, if one doesn’t consider the future season of a favorite NFL team as a serious matter. I suppose that considering all the threats to safety in the immediate future and that down the road in this world that would be a no. How the Houston Texans do in the 2014-15 season isn’t all that heavy. But certainly to those who make hundreds of thousands of bucks in the pro football world, it probably means quite a lot. Not that they’d be reading this.

So, my argument is important to a select group of people — the fans and worker bees of the NFL world’s Houston team.

The Texans, as I don’t need reminding, went a miserable 2-14 last season. It is actually a real mystery to many in the football world as how a potential Super Bowl team for this season ended up at the bottom of the heap. This is to differentiate between Houston and this year’s Kansas City Chiefs who went worst to first, at least in regular season, under the tutelage of besieged former Philadelphia Eagles Coach Andy Reid.

What went wrong with the Texans could be witnessed each week in their last 14 dreadful games, many of which were lost within a single score. QB Matt Schaub would throw confounding pick sixes. Backup QB Case Keenum, fresh out of the University of Houston, looked promising as Schaub was benched later in the season by now fired Coach Gary Kubiak. Unfortunately, Keenum looked as if he was off his game a number of times, appearing to aim his passes toward the fans.

A frequent problem, as in years past, the Texans couldn’t buy their way into a red zone touchdown. Plus, the team would often settle for field goals when they should have found a way across the goal line.

Dynamic duo running backs Arian Foster and Ben Tate left their respective seasons early with injuries. Backup back David Johnson provided promising looks, although his turning those into touchdowns was left lacking.

An October surprised the Texans with the loss of star linebacker Brian Cushing, the victim of an knee injury a year after a season-ending ACL tear.

Oh, and kicker Randy Bullock had a barely-passing season with kicks that would have been good had they been made inside the uprights.

Some stars still had above-average years, speaking of receiver Andre Johnson and J.J. Watt. Sad to say, this isn’t baseball where individual contributions often trump team effort.

Adding to these breakdowns in the Texans game plans was a season in which Kubiak suffered a mini-stroke and in which defensive coordinator’s Wade Phillips’ stint as interim head unfortunately did not change the Houston team’s fortunes. Phillips also lost his father, legendary Oilers and Saints head coach Bum Phillips. Both of these seemed to cap a terrible season rather than providing a cause. Like many other fans — that’s what I am — I was  sad to see these two great guys go.

So what for the next season? New head Bill O’Brien brought success to Penn State’s dark times in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal. But can he brighten the Houston Texans’ future? And will a No. 1 draft pick bring life to the team with the possibilities of NCAA QB prospects Johnny Football, Terry Bridgewater or defensive end Jadeveon Clowney? Or will the Texans go for a known NFL entity?

Well, why are you asking me. Questions, questions.  I just ask questions — at least for now — plus I have to get dressed and shave my head for work. So, stay tuned.

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Sixty-four yards: Where is the ticker-tape parade?

Maybe I have just been looking at the wrong places. But it seems as if relatively little fanfare was given the phenomenal accomplishment Sunday inside the awful-sounding Sports Authority Field at Mile High.

No, I am not talking about the 51-28 shellacking that the Tennessee Titans was given at the hands of the Denver Broncos. And the nearly 500 yards passing by Peyton Manning? Forget about it. What did I say last year about the vaunted Denver quarterback? Uh, I said Manning might night not recover sufficiently from his neck surgery to start this year and if so, perhaps he shouldn’t considering the danger. Of course, I also said this was the year for a Houston Texans trip to the Super Bowl. That won’t happen. In fact it is looking more and more like Denver could just be the AFL half of the Super Duo this year although we have a few weeks to see how that plays out.

What did happen was that Denver kicker Matt Prater broke the 43-year-old field goal record held by the New Orleans Saints’ Tom Dempsey. Prater nailed a 64-footer just prior to the end of the first half to narrow the lead Tennessee held by 1 point. Perhaps, the latest record-breaking kick was not at dramatic as when Dempsey, who was born with half of his kicking foot, kicked the 63-yarder in the last two seconds of the November 1970 New Orleans-Detroit game giving the Saints a win. Wins were hard to come by for the “Ain’ts” back then. Remember the fans wearing paper bags over their heads?

The record-breaker in Denver apparently wasn’t even that dramatic to Prater, the 5-feet 10-inch, 195-pound Central Florida alumni, who ironically first played for Detroit as an unsigned free agent.

Prater said in interviews that he was late lining up because he had not heard the field goal unit being called. With three seconds to go in the half, he did not know until surveying the landscape that he was kicking for a record. This might have helped reign in any anxiety produced by such circumstances.

Of course, any time a record is broken it is analyzed 14 ways come February. There is the matter of the field “at Mile High,” being a mile high. Or close enough. The Sports Authority Stadium is less than 50 feet from the original Mile High Stadium — later Invesco Field at Mile High — which was at one mile high. The current field is supposedly 80 feet less in altitude. But regardless of the actual field altitude there are laws of physics that apply when up that high above sea level.

What is undeniable is that two of the three kickers who tied the previous record held by Dempsey made their kicks at Denver. That the thinner air affects the aerodynamics of a football in flight is pretty well agreed upon. Of course, cold weather also can affect how far a ball will travel and Prater’s kick was in below freezing temperatures. Prater pointed out that the cold weather may have negated any positive effects from the elevation. Some scientists estimate the altitude at Mile High might account for as many as seven extra yards on kickoffs though kickoffs and field goals are hardly the same apple.

Perhaps I am guilty of a so-called “straw man” argument. That being I didn’t see much hubbub over this record-breaking accomplishment while I seriously doubt that is true. Perhaps I sound as if a great pyramid should be built over a matter of only one foot. But keep this in mind: Only three people tied the record in the four decades after Dempsey made the tremendous kick in Tulane University Stadium. No one broke the record until today (Well, yesterday, actually.)

Yes, things were different then. The goalposts were not moved to the back of the end zone until four years after Dempsey set his record. And unlike these days when a kicker’s job is to, well, kick, Dempsey played on other squads in his career including the offensive line and on special teams. The latter reason is why we may not hear of his reaction to his record being finally broken is because he has been diagnosed with dementia, likely linked to taking numerous hits over time.

One should not be hard-pressed to see for themselves why the kick Prater made Sunday might have been worthy of more awe, or at least why it has mine. Take a look from a real football field, or even on televised games. Then take in the view from behind the kicker going for a 50-foot-plus attempt to all the way down the field to the uprights. And look down at the little object — 11 inches from tip-to-tip, and when inflated to about 13 psi, has a center circumference of about 22 inches — that will be snapped to the holder.

As my homies back in East Texas used to say: “That’s a pretty fer damn piece.”

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Texans need fixing but keep it in perspective

The Houston Texans suck!

That seems to be a prominent sentiment in the sports world. The Houston broadcasters, at least at the station I halfway listen to, appear as if they are either jumping for joy or are just plain pissed off at the nine-game losing streak Houston has amassed. Even the heart and the soul of the team, Hall of Fame-bound receiver Andre Johnson, cannot let slide the horror that has become the Texans’ season.

“We suck,” Johnson told reporters.

Okay, at 2-9, the Houston Texans are bad. We get that. Why, will be one of these things studied like the conspiracy angles of the John F. Kennedy assassination. Well, perhaps not examined that deeply but will require study. The Texans were 11-2 last year, losing in the AFC playoffs to New England. Those two teams meet — Houston 2-9 and New England 8-3, oh my — Sunday in Houston. Houston was touted by many of the sports luminaries during pre-season as a Super Bowl favorite. But instead, the team has fallen like a house of cards. Why? We keep asking ourselves that very question.

The Texans have played while missing key stars including injured running back Arian Foster and linebacker Brian Cushing. On the coaching side, head coach Gary Kubiak suffered a transient ischemic attack, a.k.a. TIA or a mini-stroke. The last two games saw him leading from the boxes upstairs. Defensive coordinator Wade Phillips served as interim coach in two games, likewise losses, after losing his father and Houston favorite coach Bum Phillips. Phillips has held this interim position with several other teams and came to Houston after an unsuccessful stint as head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. The difficult times for these coaches, in addition to coaching a losing team this year, came toward the last month or so. This story from Eric Frenz of Boston.com (Boston Globe) doesn’t really address why Houston is bad this season, rather he puts the Texans’ losses in context with what the Patriots face this Sunday.

Put this all together and you have a team that is losing and thus is hurting. That’s not a good situation for anyone, especially a pro football player or coach. There are mechanical aspects of the losses by Houston. Likewise there are psychological reasons both individually and team-wise. But it is, thus, the individual who knows they will feel the boos from the crowd. Plus, in this age of 24/7 news and gossip-mongering, the Houston players have to know that the most innocuous slip can put them in the headlines. Take this ridiculous excuse for a sports article: A big wad in the knickers seem to exist by someone over Washington Redskins QB Robert Griffin III receiving a visit in the locker room from his father after the team’s 26-7 loss to the San Francisco 49ers Monday night. How ridiculous!

There looms a ton of stupidity out in the world among those who watch and cheer for the NFL. Some of the ridiculousness will be shed off the backs of players. For others it will be too much. Take this sad tale of when NFL glory crashes and burns.

If something is wrong the problem may eventually be patched up and sent along its way. Too bad Jovan Belcher, who killed his wife then himself — the latter in front of his former Kansas City coach Romeo Crennel and GM Scott Pioli — could not find that fix.

Hopefully the ship that is the Texans will be righted. It might cause some heartaches. Some goodbyes, even to favored coaches or players, will probably happen. But hopefully fans and those involved in the game can keep in context that pro football is a game, albeit a very well-paying one at that.

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Little football for Texans but a lot of soap

What in the Sam Hill Freaking Yankee Doodle Dandy is going on with my alleged pro football team a.k.a. the Houston Texans?

Their eighth loss in a row to Oakland was the most pathetic of the team’s recent disasters. That is saying quite a bit because the Texans had their head coach back from a mini-stroke, although he did his stuff from way high above Reliant Stadium in the press box.

Even former starting QB Matt Schaub came back in the second half. He had what would have been a winning toss to one of the first Texans and best damn wide receiver in the universe, Andre Johnson, but it didn’t work out. It did result in a sideline tiff between Schaub and Johnson. Ever cool Johnson left the game to cool down as the Raiders were taking the winning knees. Johnson, of course, downplayed the spat. Kiss and make up? Don’t want to think about it.

Coach Gary Kubiak said rookie QB Case Keenum will start against next week’s game with Jacksonville. Keenum, who lets his balls (footballs) all hang out is fun to watch but that doesn’t always get the job done.

So what will happen next on “As The Texans Turns?” (“Or As Texans Fans Stomachs Turn.”) Will Schaub and Johnson make up? Oh man, don’t want to think about it. Will Keenum win his first start as a NFL quarterback? Will Wade Phillips take over for Gary Kubiak as head coach. Stay tuned. (Organ music please.)

 

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Boys will be bullies. And, what does Gary Kubiak have in common with Larry Dierker?

Over the past several years I have become somewhat of a listener to “sports-talk” radio. For those unfamiliar with term it literally “is what it is.”

The sports-talk listener fits a certain demographic insofar as it is used for audience and sales revenue purposes. Yet the listener, the typical one at least, is not a guy like me. Who is me am I? Unfortunately, we don’t have the time to discuss that.

Many people who tune to sports radio are hard-core sports fan. They are fans of men’s sports and mainly team sports. One will hardly hear a story or talk about women’s sports unless there happens to be a sex angle involved. Apparently, some listeners also like to gamble on sports. A lot of discussion is often heard about the “line” and the “over and under.”

So you probably know where I am headed with respect to the huge story about Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito. The veteran and Pro Bowler is in the center of a controversy with another player, Jonathan Martin. Incognito has been accused of leaving phone messages using racial slurs and threatening Martin.

Martin left the Dolphins, saying he had enough of the hazing-gone-wild in the Miami locker room. Incognito has been suspended. Many hard core sports fans and some players say boys will be boys.

Some forms of hazing is prevalent in NFL locker rooms and only rises to a mild form such as rookies carrying shoulder pads or getting drinks for the veterans. As one who has worked in several all-male environments — naval ships before women were allowed and likewise for firefighting — the presence of some meager forms of hazing wasn’t a real surprise. I only experienced such behavior during my ship’s crossing the equator ceremony. Some sailors fresh from boot camp, at least during my time, may have found themselves scurrying off to find some ridiculous item ordered by a more senior enlisted. For instance, hunting for “relative bearing grease” or waiting for the “mail buoy.” I was never exposed to such, nor knew much of it happening on my ship. I would only venture to guess why was perhaps that I came onboard as petty officer with almost three years of service. Likewise, I heard of some tepid hazing shenanigans occurring “back in the day”  as a firefighter but never experienced the like.

I was bullied by several fellow students during some of my school years. One little bastard used to act if he was going to hit me with his small car while I was walking home. I also received verbal abuse from several people. The only actual violence was when a kid in junior high punched me in the nose for no reason. I can’t remember any particular reason why I was targeted, perhaps because in my late elementary through junior high days I was a fat kid. I later slimmed down and grew out my hair. Of course, I was targeted for my long hair. No one actually did anything although one girl I went out with said her dad would shoot any long-haired boy who brought her daughter home.

Now I can’t claim to know what all is happening with the Richie Incognito story. You have those who reward bullying, as long as he is a fierce competitor. Incognito is, by all accounts, a tough competitor. He is also known as one of the NFL’s dirtiest players. So we will see what happens with that story.

In good sports news, it was heartening to hear Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak went home from the Methodist Hospital (home of my first spinal surgery) after nearly collapsing on the field during halftime of Houston’s narrow loss to Baltimore. Doctors said Kubiak had a temporary ischemic attack, or TIA.

TIA, also called a mini-stroke, usually lasts a few minutes. It involves a blood clot but it normally dissolves in the body soon after it cuts off blood flow. A TIA usually does not cause brain damage. However, a TIA can be a warning sign of an impending stroke. There is no word on who will take the reins of the troubled Texans.

Kubiak was not the lone leader for a Houston professional sports team to be carted off to the hospital due to an interruption of blood flow to the brain. Houston Astros manager Larry Dierker was rushed to the hospital during the eighth inning of a game they were winning 4-1 over the San Diego Padres. Dierker, a beloved Astros pitcher and later broadcaster, suffered what doctors said was an “arteriovenous malformation.” He suffered a two-part seizure known as “Grand Mal” because a group of blood vessels to his brain tangled. Dierker recovered following surgery to remove the small clump of malformed vessels. The game was suspended until the next time the Astros played the Padres. Too bad that didn’t happen for the Texans. Of course, they might have also blown that chance as well.