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How I somehow got on a discussion of roadrunners

Seeing a roadrunner is not an everyday kind of event in my neck of the woods.

This ground-dwelling cuckoo known as a roadrunner may have coyotes to worry about in some places but there are fewer high places on which to launch a dangerous bank vault. Bureau of Land Management photo/S. Schmidt.
This ground-dwelling cuckoo known as a roadrunner may have coyotes to worry about in some places but there are fewer high places on which to launch a dangerous bank vault. Bureau of Land Management photo/S. Schmidt.

The Geococcyx californianus  as they are scientifically known aren’t completely alien to the pine forests of East Texas, where I was raised. Neither are roadrunners completely foreign a little south of the Pineywoods, in what is the Big Thicket area and into the coastal plains of Southeast Texas where I currently reside.

Scientists who study these sort of things say these speedy ground-dwelling cuckoos have been found in each of the 254 Texas counties. The North American Breeding Bird Survey shows the roadrunner habitat through most areas of the Southwest U.S. and into areas of states bordering Texas. This is in conjunction with the areas of northern Mexico where one may also find these birds.

Roadrunner habitat in the United States from the Breeding Bird Survey. USGS map
Roadrunner habitat in the United States from the Breeding Bird Survey. USGS map

The map provided by the Breeding Bird Survey (BBS) — a U.S. Geological Survey/Environment Canada effort — shows that one is most likely to see a roadrunner in the Chihuahuan Desert, the North Texas plains and the Rio Grand Valley in Texas as well as the Sonoran Desert in California. But other than a two or three day adventure in Big Bend National Park — in the heart of the Chihuahuan — the only roadrunners I have ever seen were in the wooded areas of eastern Texas.

 

Sometimes called the chaparral or chaparral cock, this cuckoo is pretty damn smart when it comes to ferreting out the sustenance it needs to survive and doing so just about wherever it needs to survive. The first roadrunner I saw was while riding to a picnic with my neighbor kids and their mother. We kids recognized the bird, of course, because the “Roadrunner” cartoons had recently begun its run on network TV. Folks around the area where I grew up said the first such birds they had seen were sometime in the 1940s or 1950s. The birds actually spread pretty rapidly because of the changes in land use. Whether that growth has stopped or slowed down, I don’t know. But the BBS map shows that they haven’t traveled very far from eastern Texas. Once again, the physical terrain and vegetation, whether changed or not, probably is the major factor.

I have to admit that the roadrunners are curious-looking, as well as curious-acting, feathered fellows. I think they are quite majestic and quite handsome even though its long legs and neck do somewhat resemble the flightless ratites. The major difference between the chaparral and ratites such as the emu is that roadrunners are capable of a weak effort at flying. As for photogenic, I’d have to say the roadrunner wins hands, or feet, down. And while the emu is not generally given to aggression they are apt to cause humans to hurt themselves as the “smarter creature” takes flight. The good old roadrunner just takes off instead of fooling with humans. Then again, I have had strange encounters with emus. I think I will just leave it at there, for now at least.

Although I certainly hold no claim as an expert on roadrunners, I can say without reservation that I’ve never hear them utter sounds such as “meep meep.” Also, since coyotes can be found just about anywhere I wouldn’t draw any conclusions.

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The Blue Norther comes sweeping down the plains. It must be Texas, by golly!

Today brought the first “blue norther” of the fall for these parts, perhaps all parts, of Texas. Granted, it isn’t much of a blue norther and one could understand how folk-weather purists might challenge the cold front that just blew into Southeast Texas and its worthiness of the blue norther name.

Blue norther is a pretty ambiguous term, even in Texas, where the term seems to hold a great deal more meaning than in certain other parts of these United States.

The Handbook of Texas, with its title self-explanatory, says:

“What is peculiar to Texas is the term itself.”

The folk attributions mentioned by the excellent explainer of all things Texas seem to agree the term holds a strong reference to its blue, or blue black,” appearance as a leading edge to a strong cold front. The Weather Channel likewise indicates a strong kinship to Texas with a rather full outline of the meteorological phenomenon’s attributes. Yes, the sky is usually blue black to dark blue. Chilly and gusty winds accompany most such fronts. Sometimes the front will bring rain, sometime not. The precipitation may also be white in color, as noted in this NOAA piece about the so-called “Sleet Bowl” between the Dallas Cowboys and the Miami Dolphins on Thanksgiving Day 1993 in Irving, Texas.

My memory of the Sleet Bowl was not due to my dying fanaticism for Dallas or Miami. Rather, I was in the tiny burgh of Fischer, Texas, about 200 miles south of Texas Stadium, at the time. I only recently knew the location of the Devil’s Backbone Tavern was in a town. Back then it was out in the Hill Country wilderness between Canyon Lake and San Marcos. The town of Wimberley, about 10 miles down the road from the tavern was not the tourist destination it has become.

The Devil’s Backbone Tavern, is named for the nearby ridge that rises to more than 1,200 feet. It is supposedly haunted though I never personally noticed any apparitions appearing . Holding up in a little country beer joint with a nice inviting fireplace doesn’t seem proper habitat for “haints” anyway.

I was staying in nearby San Marcos that Thanksgiving. I don’t really know why. I liked that area from previous visits and I decided to go stay there alone, knowing there would be few students hanging around. Southwest Texas State (now Texas State University) was closed for the holiday. I went out Thanksgiving morning and studied the areas of rugged hills or small mountains to the west of San Marcos. In the afternoon I stopped at the tavern. It was the only watering hole around at the time, so I had some beers for which I was thankful.

Later in the evening, folks who frequent the bar, started bringing in eats for what some might call a “pot-luck” but we all called Thanksgiving dinner. I felt a little strange sticking around, an outsider eating their delicious food, but they didn’t care. I was just one of the folks who came for Thanksgiving dinner. One’s name did not need be known to all like the proverbial Norm of Cheers. That’s what made dinner so great. Sitting inside the warmth and watching two teams that hardly ever played in cold weather try to navigate the sleet-covered field. The game pretty much sucked, but the company, food and beer, were stupendous.

This Texas Monthly article from some years back provides perhaps as good an explanation as any when it comes to the Blue Norther. As cumin is the spice which sets chili from the soup bowl, so does the cold-ass Arctic air provide the key ingredient that makes the Blue Norther a Texas big blow. Well, sometimes that is the case.

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Boys will be bullies. And, what does Gary Kubiak have in common with Larry Dierker?

Over the past several years I have become somewhat of a listener to “sports-talk” radio. For those unfamiliar with term it literally “is what it is.”

The sports-talk listener fits a certain demographic insofar as it is used for audience and sales revenue purposes. Yet the listener, the typical one at least, is not a guy like me. Who is me am I? Unfortunately, we don’t have the time to discuss that.

Many people who tune to sports radio are hard-core sports fan. They are fans of men’s sports and mainly team sports. One will hardly hear a story or talk about women’s sports unless there happens to be a sex angle involved. Apparently, some listeners also like to gamble on sports. A lot of discussion is often heard about the “line” and the “over and under.”

So you probably know where I am headed with respect to the huge story about Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito. The veteran and Pro Bowler is in the center of a controversy with another player, Jonathan Martin. Incognito has been accused of leaving phone messages using racial slurs and threatening Martin.

Martin left the Dolphins, saying he had enough of the hazing-gone-wild in the Miami locker room. Incognito has been suspended. Many hard core sports fans and some players say boys will be boys.

Some forms of hazing is prevalent in NFL locker rooms and only rises to a mild form such as rookies carrying shoulder pads or getting drinks for the veterans. As one who has worked in several all-male environments — naval ships before women were allowed and likewise for firefighting — the presence of some meager forms of hazing wasn’t a real surprise. I only experienced such behavior during my ship’s crossing the equator ceremony. Some sailors fresh from boot camp, at least during my time, may have found themselves scurrying off to find some ridiculous item ordered by a more senior enlisted. For instance, hunting for “relative bearing grease” or waiting for the “mail buoy.” I was never exposed to such, nor knew much of it happening on my ship. I would only venture to guess why was perhaps that I came onboard as petty officer with almost three years of service. Likewise, I heard of some tepid hazing shenanigans occurring “back in the day”  as a firefighter but never experienced the like.

I was bullied by several fellow students during some of my school years. One little bastard used to act if he was going to hit me with his small car while I was walking home. I also received verbal abuse from several people. The only actual violence was when a kid in junior high punched me in the nose for no reason. I can’t remember any particular reason why I was targeted, perhaps because in my late elementary through junior high days I was a fat kid. I later slimmed down and grew out my hair. Of course, I was targeted for my long hair. No one actually did anything although one girl I went out with said her dad would shoot any long-haired boy who brought her daughter home.

Now I can’t claim to know what all is happening with the Richie Incognito story. You have those who reward bullying, as long as he is a fierce competitor. Incognito is, by all accounts, a tough competitor. He is also known as one of the NFL’s dirtiest players. So we will see what happens with that story.

In good sports news, it was heartening to hear Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak went home from the Methodist Hospital (home of my first spinal surgery) after nearly collapsing on the field during halftime of Houston’s narrow loss to Baltimore. Doctors said Kubiak had a temporary ischemic attack, or TIA.

TIA, also called a mini-stroke, usually lasts a few minutes. It involves a blood clot but it normally dissolves in the body soon after it cuts off blood flow. A TIA usually does not cause brain damage. However, a TIA can be a warning sign of an impending stroke. There is no word on who will take the reins of the troubled Texans.

Kubiak was not the lone leader for a Houston professional sports team to be carted off to the hospital due to an interruption of blood flow to the brain. Houston Astros manager Larry Dierker was rushed to the hospital during the eighth inning of a game they were winning 4-1 over the San Diego Padres. Dierker, a beloved Astros pitcher and later broadcaster, suffered what doctors said was an “arteriovenous malformation.” He suffered a two-part seizure known as “Grand Mal” because a group of blood vessels to his brain tangled. Dierker recovered following surgery to remove the small clump of malformed vessels. The game was suspended until the next time the Astros played the Padres. Too bad that didn’t happen for the Texans. Of course, they might have also blown that chance as well.

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The Texans go to Hell in a handbasket: Blame it on Lucy Van Pelt

Damned you, Lucy!

A woman's work is never done. Especially an evil woman. Reproduction through Fair Use/Courtesy of Wikipedia-Creative Commons
A woman’s work is never done. Especially an evil woman. Reproduction through Fair Use/Courtesy of Wikipedia-Creative Commons

Perhaps the Houston Texans might find more truth in advertising if they renamed themselves the Charlie Browns. It seems fitting for the team, especially this year. They started out so exciting last night in the first half against Indianapolis. Yes, the first half, with rookie former University of Houston quarterback Case Keenum throwing three end zone bombs to Andre Johnson. It looked oh so promising despite the battered Oilers Texans.

Star running back Arian Foster, already nursing a sore Achilles, played what seemed to be one possession before going out for the rest of the evening with a back injury. The other half of Houston’s backfield duo, Ben Tate, was fitted with some kind of flak jacket after getting pain shots for some broken ribs. Tate still played, hurt, to say the least.

The Texans also had injuries to their defense, including linebacking monster Brian Cushing sporting a season-ending LCL tear and broken fibula. Sure, they had J.J. Watt stepping up to play grizzly bear on the Colts offense. But when that old whistle blew, that mean little ol’ Lucy came out of nowhere ready to pull the football away from the Charlie Browns of the NFL. That certainly was an apt metaphor for Texans kicker Randy Bullock who missed three, count ’em, three freaking field goals with his final try kicking the Texans’ chance for overtime into far-off oblivion.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. That is because, as many of you football folks already knew, Lucy, — likewise figuratively — kneecapped Texans Head Coach Gary Kubiak before he even had a chance to enter the locker room at half-time. “The Kube” was carted away to one of the many local hospitals for what was termed “stroke-like symptoms” even though team officials said Kubiak did not suffer a stroke or heart attack. Then what did he have? Well, in our little figurative world, Lucy Van Pelt.

Blame it on Lucy. Might as well. You can’t blame defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, who took over as interim team leader.

As one of my late firefighter friends, Bobby Dale, used to say: “Man, now that’s as f***ed up as a football bat!”

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More men, women and children packing heat isn’t the answer

Another day, another fatal shooting in a very public place. This time a gunman who supposedly carried a note expressing his displeasure with the TSA and “pigs.” The shooter, identified as 23-year-old New Jersey native Paul Ciancia, was shot by officers and is reportedly in critical condition. Ciancia allegedly pulled out an AR-15 rifle and shot several people. At least one person, a Transportation Security Administration, was killed.

No doubt this latest shooting will set off all sorts of solutions for a deadly series of actions that seems almost pandemic-li

You always hear the loudest and most extreme from either side of an issue. So it goes in our troubled society. On one side you will hear from those who say all guns should be banned. On the opposite side you have those who believe more of the public needs arming. This same “more guns” rationalization surfaced after the Newtown-Sandy Hook school shootings after which 28 lay dead.

The joke that passed for NRA soul-searching after the Newtown massacre led certain schools, including some near where I live in Southeast Texas, to arm mostly volunteer teachers. When I heard this ridiculousness, I thought that perhaps the school children should start arming themselves in an attempt to even things up.

Whether guns should exist or not, the fact is that they are here and most likely here they will stay. That doesn’t mean every man, woman and child needs one and has to use it.