Twice with “The Interview” and still no funnier

And in the end, after all the hubbub and a threats and serious talk of cyber-terrorism —  not to mention dipshit’s such as CNN’s Jake Tapper who postulated the United States lost the first cyber war — there was a movie. That movie had little going for it albeit some R-rated humor that made for some big laughs with an ending that might (no promises) have sufficed had I not already known the ending. Oh well, the movie was billed as comedy. The world went topsy-turvey for awhile aided by an electronic news media that seemed to evoke for some the second coming of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Along that backdrop did I watch “The Interview” twice. I watched on my laptop after its simultaneous release online and in “fearless” movie theaters across the US of A.

I couldn’t really complain about the price. The movie had several online outlets. The one I used,, streamed the movie at the low, low, price of $5.99  and could be watched for 48 hours. Thus, I came back and watched it again a short time ago. Not much really changed during the second viewing.

Only if someone occasionally finds low brow humor really funny can enough parts of the film remain salvageable. (Rob Lowe ‘removes’ his hair, exposing several strands extending from front to back. This leads a control room lady to exclaim: “It looks like someone’s taint!” The James Franco character finds a double entendre which only he sees the hilarity until discovered by the North Korean leader. “They hate us ’cause they ain’t us” This comes out of course as “They hate us ’cause they anus.”)

One also wonders whether the movie’s production folks were channeling Ed Wood, what with several noticeable inconsistencies — Franco and Seth Rogan whispering because of possible bugs in the Kim palace guest rooms then inexplicably talking out loud. As LA Times critic Betsy Sharkey writes: “This is, to put it bluntly, not a good film.”

As discussing with my friend across the Pacific, Paul, yesterday, it almost seemed as if watching this film somehow became an act of patriotism. Other friends sees the run up to the movie with the warnings of 9/11 style attacks as well as the puzzling water cooler gossip — the Sony email which calls Angelina Jolie “a minimally talented spoiled brat” — some kind of bizarre way to pack theaters.

The supposed hacking of Sony is one of those events which comes along leaving more head scratching than answers. To paraphrase an earlier phrase about Angelina Jolie, “The Interview” was a minimally funny comedy.

But it certainly got talked about.

Two-smack, two-smack, too actors in one!

A post that I had begun writing a half-hour ago went totally to hell in a hand basket. In the midst of pulling up a few things I might put together came a wacky Hollywood urban legend that had me wondering if perhaps the myth had somehow infiltrated my brain.

The original post was a little thought about aging, how some people needed cosmetic help because of their work, and how others received such help due to true vanity. But screw it, that topic will have to wait for another day.

I saw a movie on Encore the other day but the stars that were to be the stars of my blog actually came from two movies on Encore. One movie was “The Last Boy Scout,” a 1991comedy thriller starring Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans. The other was “Blue Steel,” a 1989 action-drama which starred Jamie Lee Curtis and Ron Silver.

Both Willis and Curtis were in their 30s in the two movies. Willis actually looked younger than the character he played in the 1980s TV series that launched his career, “Moonlighting,” co-starring Cybill Shepherd. Both movies were already underway when I started watching them. Honestly, I didn’t even recognize Curtis. I thought to myself: “She kind of looks like Jamie Lee Curtis.”

Jamie Lee, I will call her that because that is how I will always know her, is one of those people whom I find beautiful even though others may not. And she looked awesome in the movie. As the film went on, I figured out that, yes, this was Jamie Lee. This was a younger, thinner, Jamie Lee. That is not to say that even though the aging, not-so-thin Jamie is still “fine as frog hair,” as they like to say here in the swamps of Texas and Louisiana.

Willis is an attractive man. I say that because some people have said at various times that I resembled him. We both had receding hairlines and now shave our heads about once a week. But I am not Willis, nor am I a Jamie Lee.

This urban myth I found or meme, or whatever you want to call it is that Willis and Jamie Lee morphed into the same person. A bunch of different Web sites discussed this. I suppose you might find those sites doing a little searching. But I don’t have time to dig them up for you. Sorry.

Both Willis and Jamie Lee are still very nice-looking people. I suppose the notion they are the same person would result in a an attractive Bruce Lee Curtis or Jamie Lee Willis. But they’re not the same person. So stop feeding this foolishness. You folks are making me crazy, even to mention such a myth.

Chow. No, I mean chow. It’s time to eat.