Dancing fools


New evidence indicates that Americans have finally lost their minds. Exhibit A is the popularity of ABC Television’s “Dancing With the Stars.”

This show is apparently just one version of an international conspiracy to drive the world mad which all started with a BBC program. You just have to watch those Brits. You never know what kind of craziness they’ll start next.

What is patently bizarre about the U.S. version of this televised dance contest is its “stars” who are probably some of people one would least think of as dancers. For instance this season has included conservative pundit Tucker Carlson and combat-talk show host Jerry Springer, both of whom have been voted off the island.

Former NFL star running back Emmett Smith, who remains a contender on the show, is also not the first person to pop up in one’s head when envisioning mahvelous dancers. So, yes, “Dancing With the Stars” proves we as a society have finally plunged over the deep end to a dark and dismal abyss. One-two-three-four, one-two-three four …

With television, an industry which franchises successful concepts to an extent Ray Krok would have envied, it is only a matter of time that we will begin to see new programs which are a variation of the parent theme of “Dancing With the Stars.” New shows on the horizons may include:

“Stars Dancing With Dangerous Wild Animals”
“When Dangerous Animals Attack Dancing Stars”
“Dancing With the Terrorist Leaders” (Featuring an Osama bin Laden cameo)
“Dancing With Bill O’Reilly”
“The Southern Baptist Dance Hour”
“Dancing With the Teletubbies”

Well, it could just go on and on and on. It’s not a pretty prospect and just might lead to the end of civilization as we know it. One-two-three …

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