Demon ware

I am becoming convinced that my desktop computer is possessed by demons. Perhaps it has Demon 7.0 or some such. It either has demon possession, a virus or is just a temperamental sumbitch. I don’t know but perhaps it has a touch of all three. Some days it operates on all cylinders and other days — like today — it’s saying in a Mr. Bill voice:

“Oh no. Go away, leave me alone! All I want to do is sleep!

Perhaps I shouldn’t speak ill of my computer lest it explodes. I thought that was going to happen the other day. It started making a ticking sound. As I explained to my computer wiz friends in North Texas, if you wanted to be optimistic you’d say the noise sounded like a clock. If you are a pessimist (Who? Me?) then you might believe a timing device was inside your machine such as those used for, as Inspector Clouseau would say, “A bimb.” I also couldn’t cut the damn machine off. I finally resorted to throwing the power switch on the back of the computer. Weird!

So, short of reinstalling the operating system, I really don’t know what I should do. Should I gently stroke my computer and hum a soothing melody like “Fairies Wear Boots?” Or should I use tough love and threaten the machine with my use of its evil cousin the laptop? Or, should I just go bury my head in my pillow and think about it? You make the call? No. I’ll make the call this round. But thanks for offering.

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