Happy Festivus to the rest of us!

Today is the day we — EFD — celebrate Festivus.

Here is a very short synopsis about Festivus and more can be read in this pretty good Wikipedia article:

Festivus is a made-up holiday introduced to the world on Dec. 18, 1997 on the incredible late 20th century sitcom “Seinfeld.” The holiday is just one more gift to society given by the genius comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his writers. A line of such cultural gifts from Seinfeld and cast exists, like “close talker,” “regifting” and “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” The date on which it is celebrated was portrayed on the show as Dec. 23. The premises of Festivus, as explained by character Frank Costanza — father of one of the main characters George Costanza — was a reaction to the hyper-commercialization of Christmas.

The major symbol for the holiday is an aluminum pole. Traditional practices include “Feats of Strengths” and the “Airing of Grievances,” in which each person tells the others present how they disappointed him or her that year.

Probably no one knows, but Festivus is actually celebrated by people in reality. There are three Festivus Facebook groups with more than 15,000 fans. Just what those numbers mean, I couldn’t begin to tell you.

Since this is a holiday that really lacks any rigidity it is a perfect one for me to celebrate. I don’t even have an aluminum pole this Festivus, but I might go out and find one. Although you can buy a Festivus pole online, I think it kind of defeats the purpose of thumbing one’s nose to commercialism. No offense Festivuspole.com.

People throw stuff away left and right, including aluminum poles. That is especially true in places where hurricanes seem to strike every third week and folks are continually rebuilding their homes when they aren’t fighting the insurance companies in court.

And for those of you who read my blog, or even worse, know me personally, you know that I have no shortages of grievances to air. No one says the grievances one airs must necessarily be pointed toward friends or family. So here are just a few of my grievances for this year:

People who park their huge-a** trucks or SUVs across more than one parking space. Do these people think that because they have a large automobile it entitles them to park however they desire? Or are they just stupid? Especially during the holiday season when parking spaces at malls or other shopping areas are crucial, one should grasp the idea that parking spaces are there for a reason. A space isn’t there to make you conform to society’s rules. It is there to ensure everyone who can grab a space has a place to park. That is so these potential customers can buy things and the shopkeepers or large corporations can get filthy rich! Oh no, this rant has just gone South Pole with my musings returning to commercialism. I have just run myself into a literary circle of no return.

Well, that’s it. I have other grievances but instead of airing a few I just hit a dead end thanks to commerce. Screw it. It’s time to enjoy the holiday before the holiday (before the holiday if you celebrate Boxing Day on Dec. 26.)

Oh I forgot the Feats of Strength. I think I will pass on that this year.

Have a great Festivus and you know what you can do with the pole.