Have a great trip home, Mahmoud

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sure has caused a lot of knickers to be wadded with his visit to New York and speech today at Columbia University. First of all, I don’t think Ahmadinejad should be allowed to speak at Columbia or any other major university in the United States just as I don’t believe he should be president of a nation. The reason for my view is that his name is way too difficult to spell, much less pronounce.

Actually, I have figured out a way to pronounce his name that is very easy. First, you say “ahhh” like when a doctor tells you to cough. Oops, that’s the wrong end. Then say “maaa” kind of as one would say Ma such as Ma Bell or Ma and Pa Kettle only minus the Bell or the Kettle. Then get rid of the Salvation Army guy until Christmas rolls around again. Next comes “din” as in Gunga Din or “din-din” which only someone who should be slapped silly would say, all alliteration aside. Then you would want to say the “e” as “uh.” Why you ask? I don’t know why. Why is cow? Why is there a smiley face? Finally, you would pronounce the last syllable in his name as jod (rhymes with rod or mod or cod if you really are into fish). Spare the cod and ruin the bacalao.

So let’s put it all together now: “ahh”-“maaa”-“din”-“uh”-“jod.” And there you have it — Mahmoud.

One little matter o’- pinion about this creep speaking at an American university. I don’t care. People get so wrapped up into their own little views so much that they forget that they are living in the U.S. of A. where everyone has the supposed right to make known their views. Of course, a lot of the right-wingers like Dick Cheney are trying to say that doesn’t apply when we are talking about the stupid war in Iraq. But Dick Cheney is an ass and not a very good shot. Other people seem afraid that if someone who has a totally abhorrent point of view to express, then others might be influenced by such malarkey. If you are talking about a 2-year-old, then maybe but a lot of us know the difference between sh*t and Sh*nola so keep your kids at home if you don’t want them listening to a pin-headed dictator and everything should be copacetic.

And one more word to Mahmoud or whatever he is calling himself these days: When you get on that airplane to Tehran don’t let the cabin door hit you in the ass on your way out.

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