Maybe I’m just too far out of the techno generation to grasp the importance of today’s announcement by Apple, during which CEO Steve Jobs unveiled their new tablet computer. I mean, I own a laptop and use it extensively. I have a cell that can take pictures, video, respond to voice commands such as “roll over and play dead.” I have a desktop in storage. I got your digital camera. Just last week I was given an electronic device that measures my blood sugar. Also, my work computer is a tablet-style which would provide me tons of pleasure if only I could blow it to Kingdom Come with a Smith and Wesson .500 Magnum.

Surely a .50-caliber revolver promised as a “hunting handgun for any game walking” could take care of that screwed up Fujitsu tablet PC I have to use that often acts as if it is on a continual fortified wine bender.

I even started out using Apple’s Macs.

But I don’t have an iPod. Maybe that’s why I don’t get the significance of the iPad.

I do understand what the new tablet does and it’s relatively cheap price starting at $499 instead of the expected $1,000. It apparently combines the technology and operation of Apple’s iPod, computers, e-book readers and cell phones. Smart, functional, relatively inexpensive and delivered by a genius of a man who survived liver cancer after getting a transplant. It’s a hell of a story, no doubt.

What it isn’t, is the Second Coming of the Almighty. The headline on Huffington Post this afternoon took up half of my laptop screen.

Maybe my lack of enthusiasm stems from becoming computer literate only in my 30s and 40s. Or, as I said, maybe it’s because I don’t have an iPod. Some pundits remarked that they believed the iPad announcement would overshadow President Obama’s first State of the Union address this evening. Go figure that one.

Now if someone came up with a computer that was really functional it would be a different story. I’m talking an android-in-a-box. A computer that would make meals or snacks for you that were both delicious and perfectly healthy according to your dietary and taste bud needs. If it mixed your adult beverages just to your specifications. If it was a computer that could pull up the five-shot .500-magnum and do a Dirty Harry imitation in the event unwelcome intruders were in your abode. If a computer was introduced that was just completely out of this world in its functions, would heal the sick, feed the starving, stop global warming and save the whales, then yeah, 72-point headlines and perhaps an extra edition if newspapers are still around.

But the iPad, the little-bitty tablet PC that mystery and hype has even me talking about it, I just don’t understand the hub, Bub.